self-care

Gratitude

Posted on April 18, 2015 by Molly

Gratitude for the way words twine around my tongue
And through my fingers
Gratitude for sacred space
Sacred sisters
And sacred solitude.
Gratitude for warm spring evenings
Setting sun and moonrise
Gratitude for hope and inspiration
The opportunity to follow a calling
The beat of footsteps
On beautiful earth.
Gratitude for babies
Fuzzy heads and sweet breath
For dancing daughters
For smiling sons.
Gratitude for supportive partners
The opportunity to walk alongside another.
Gratitude for co-creation
For courage
For stepping into personal power.
Gratitude for tasting fear
For letting it roll around inside familiar grooves in the brain
And then doing it anyway.
Gratitude for the real
The holy
The potently ordinary
The powerfully mundane.
Gratitude for sacred space to which I may return
Again and again
As inexhaustible and powerful
As the sweep of wind through branches
The river’s song
And the silent watchfulness of stone.

Today while I was uploading some song recordings from last night’s new moon Red Tent Circle, I found a recording a did a couple of weeks ago and forgot about. One of the assignments for March for the Sacred Year class I am participating in was to write a gratitude poem. Even though I spoke-wrote this poem several weeks ago, it felt very true to read it again today. After last night’s Red Tent, I am feeling grateful to circle with other women in real life rather than only in virtual space. Recently, I’ve also been feeling grateful for the women who have been participating in my dissertation research group. I’m so glad I chose to do a dissertation research project with the input of others, rather than working alone. My exploration is already much deeper and more nuanced than it would have been without the women who have been willing to share their voices, wisdom, experience, and perspectives with me. Very grateful! I look forward to continuing to spiral together (my research is about contemporary priestessing and my research group is still open to additional participants). People have offered extremely thoughtful and well-considered responses to the questions I posed so far, as well as led me to explore new questions and lines of thought.

At last night’s circle.

I’m grateful for spring flowers too and modified some prior posts into this one at SageWoman: Ode to Tiny Flowers.

I also decided to gift myself with 30 Days of Bringing in the May for my birthday this year. It is on my 100 Things list to do another month-long daily woodspriestess blog-experience and I thought my birth month would be a good opportunity to do so. Might as well layer it into this ecourse too! I enjoyed the Brigid course in February so much. I’ve been reflecting a lot recently about how one of the primary tasks of ritual and ceremony is in creating the container. This is what I do with women’s circles and retreats. The Sacred Year class and the 30 Days courses do the same for me—create the container and give “permission,” in their way, for an experience to unfold. It is incredible how easy it is to rush through the day without taking needed pauses, time outs, or stillpoints. I’m working on developing two courses myself, one about Red Tents (and women’s circle work in general) and one a Womanrunes immersion ecourse (to be followed by a divination intensive course late this year or early next). I also have several other courses in mind to be worked on (not to forget the dissertation! Oh my!), but I have to focus. Having another baby has really made me pare away a lot in my life, including very basic self-care things like regular showers! I’ve done it before, so I know it isn’t permanent, but it is still hard to feel like I’m trimming away so much that matters to me, while also having so much I want to offer, and constantly having to prioritize and choose. I’ve been looking at it as a sort of “sabbatical.” While I might not be able to do as much face to face projects as I envision and dream of, I can lay the groundwork, I can write, I can prepare and outline and imagine, while also sitting in my bed holding my sleeping baby. Maybe I won’t get to the woods every day and maybe I have to choose between the shower or yoga, since doing both in one day seems like too much to ask sometimes, but I can use this baby time to incubate new visions and grow while appearing stationary. During the Inner Mentor visualization we did last night, we traveled in time to meet ourselves twenty years from now. The first thing she/I told me is that my baby is now twenty. It felt like a shock to consider that, since right now is so real.

Categories: family, friends, parenting, poems, priestess, self-care, women's circle | Tags: calling the circle, priestess, red tent, women's circle, woodspriestess | Leave a comment

Day 20: Healing Water (#30DaysofBrigid)

Posted on February 14, 2015 by Molly

I’ve been feeling a little short on self-care or physical care lately as well as short on relationship care. It feels like we’re constantly “running out of time” for the things we need or want to do in a day and simple things like hugging each other get shuffled aside. My husband has been having a problem with his leg that is making us worried and I feel like I’m so busy with the baby that I have trouble making time for quality time with my other kids. Today, when I read the prompt, I knew I couldn’t work in a full bath, but I thought it would be fun to do footbaths. Following the inspiration (as is one of our year’s mottoes) before dinner, even though it wasn’t particularly good timing and there were other things we could or should have been doing, I set up footbaths for my husband, our daughter, and me. We used salt from the salt bowl ceremony at my mother blessing and “magnify your purpose” essential oil blend. My daughter picked out a crystal to add to each bath—rose quartz for my husband, amethyst for me, and snowflake obsidian for herself. Though I didn’t expect them to be interested, after we settled in, my older boys came running out and said, “hey, we’re doing footbaths!” and so we got one set up for each of them too (using drawers from a little plastic dresser! Another reminder about following the inspiration rather than waiting for “perfect”). We sat there enjoying ourselves even though our rolls for dinner got cold while we were soaking. After the baths, I gave each of the kids and my husband a foot massage and reiki with mandarin orange lotion. I tried to skip my own foot massage because we needed to get back to dinner prep, but my husband did mine and it was lovely. This was a really nice, healing, loving mini-ritual and I’m glad we did it.

As I read today’s lesson, I also thought of two “healing water” experiences I had last year with ceremonial baths:

Sacred Postpartum, Week 2: Ceremonial Bathing | Talk Birth

Ceremonial Bath and Sealing Ceremony | Talk Birth

Categories: #30daysofBrigid, family, parenting, ritual, sacred pause, self-care | Tags: #30daysofBrigid | Leave a comment

Day 18: Sing, Dance, Create (#30DaysofBrigid)

Posted on February 12, 2015 by Molly

“Sing, dance, create. If you have to choose one, do all three at once.”
— Sister Bridget Mermaid

(Kim Antieau, Church of the Old Mermaids)

I absolutely adore this quote from today’s sacred pause with 30 Days of Brigid. I feel like my first picture from yesterday’s post would have been a good match for today’s theme, but since it is a new day, I took a new picture! I thought of it in the car on the way home after a stressful day (medical problem for my husband, stressed out and very sad car-hating baby) and it was the Rune of Dancing Women…

I ran down to the woods in the cold with my drum for a few minutes after we got home. I almost didn’t take the drum and I almost didn’t go to the woods, but then I remembered the quote: do all three! So, I drummed my drum and I danced from stone to stone and while I danced I sang the “dance in a circle of women” chant we learned at GGG. While I sang, I felt a little sad that I was dancing alone and not actually in a circle of women, but then I thought back to my stressful day and the empathy offered by my doula-friend who talked to my husband about his leg, I thought about the two other skilled professional women/friends who offered their feedback/suggestions on where we should go to help him, and I thought about my other friend offering to hold the baby so we could talk. That friend and I also had a few scattered minutes alone to share with each other about our own recent bouts of insecurity/self-doubt and how it helps to “reveal” fears to one another rather than to try to have it all together all of the time. This is its own kind of “dancing” in a circle of women (and reminds me of my hands post from a few days ago).

When we got home, I read this post from Lucy Pearce about creativity and it really spoke to me, especially the part about the messy kitchen!

Creativity is a revolutionary act.

Which makes you, my love, a fellow revolutionary.

Yes, yes, I know you might not feel like one right now, checking Facebook on your phone whilst you drink a stone cold cup of tea in your messy kitchen whilst the kids fight or the dog is howling to go out.

But you are.

The reason that creativity is SO challenging, is that it requires us to choose to prioritise our time and energy in a way that is not socially sanctioned or approved.

via You are a Creative Revolutionary – Dreaming Aloud.

Sing, dance, create…live!

Categories: #30daysofBrigid, drums, sacred pause, self-care, Womanrunes, women's circle | Leave a comment

Day 17: Awen (#30DaysofBrigid)

Posted on February 11, 2015 by Molly

This goddess sculpture reminds me of being open to change and to flowing inspiration.

Can I trust the rhythm?
Can I embrace the flow?
Can follow inspiration?
Can I heed when to let go?

I feel like I am in the process of learning, or re-learning something lately. Perhaps it is simply being the mother of a baby again, but perhaps it is something deeper that wants to shift. Either way, when I got the 30 Days prompt this morning, I knew exactly what my response was to the prompt of “flowing inspiration.” One of the mottoes or reminders that I wrote down in our Shining Year workbook this year was to follow the inspiration. Life unfolds much more beautifully, creatively, productively, and powerfully, when I don’t “force it,” but instead sink into my heart space first and feel what it is I wish to do next. I have an ongoing issue with turning every “could do” into “should do,” every fun idea into work, and every possibility into an obligation. That said, I also have been reminded that while I give myself very little credit for being flexible and in fact makes jokes about my lack thereof, but in reality, I demonstrate a lot of flexibility every day–I just don’t always like it and I argue with it, but I flex and bend every. single. day to respond to what is around me and what a situation requires from me.

One of the things I realized recently is that I really shouldn’t have planned to do monthly Red Tent and monthly Full Moon circles throughout the coming year, because planning and facilitating 24 rituals is simply a lot. When I had the idea, I was thinking month by month, instead of realizing that I was committing myself to TWENTY-FOUR rituals. That is simply too much to expect of myself while also mothering a baby (and other kids!). And, it is also too much to expect of those around me. While the only person who would actually have to show up for all 24 would technically be me, that much participation is a lot to ask of my friends as well and a lot of dates to add to their calendars! I’m trying to remember to check in with Future Molly when I make plans for this year and Future Molly predicts that attendance and enthusiasm for either or both events will wane with “too much,” particularly after midsummer when people are traveling and then into fall when they are beginning to switch into holiday mode. So, I’m pledging to myself that I will look at the rhythm of each month as it flows before deciding which/what/when/how many events to plan this year. I wonder why I thought I needed to commit to an entire year of anything, rather than simply seeing what makes sense over time and what I, and those around me, will enjoy? Something like 8 rituals for a year sounds like a much more reasonable and enjoyable general plan! (not including private family rituals or personal rituals)

Back to flowing inspiration though. This is where I feel it:

And, this is why:

This weekend, I followed the inspiration when it said SCULPT instead of do class prep and all of these new pendant prototypes were the result! Now, to wait for the time and space and moment in which to mold and cast them…

Stand still. The trees ahead and the bushes beside you

Are not lost. Where ever you are is called HERE.

And you must treat it as a powerful stranger.

Must ask permission to know it and be known.

The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,

I have made this place around you.

If you leave it, you may come back again, saying, HERE…

–David Wagoner, in Life Prayers

via Stand Still… | WoodsPriestess.

I’m also reminding myself to flow with milk time…

Give up your calendar and clock,

start flowing with milk time.

via Surrender? | Talk Birth.

Unclench your life.

That’s what I wish to flow with and into.

Awen symbol pendant Mark carved for me for Solstice.

Categories: #30daysofBrigid, nature, quotes, ritual, sacred pause, self-care, woodspriestess | Tags: #30daysofBrigid | 1 Comment

Day 16: Breath (#30DaysofBrigid)

Posted on February 10, 2015 by Molly

This is the first prompt of this 30 day practice for which I haven’t had a readily available response. I read each day’s email first thing in the morning and then think about it on and off all day. Usually something emerges, often in a surprising way, that turns out to be totally relevant. Tonight, I feel like I’m reaching–but, I don’t want to miss a day. I’ve been enjoying the personal practice of posting each day and I don’t want to skip it!

So, what I finally thought of was the sense of relief I feel when I get home from another week of class. I don’t enjoy the class I’m currently teaching, which is too bad because I usually love teaching. It is a hard class to teach, regardless, but adding in toting a baby along tips the scales further towards hard. Not to mention how it inconveniences other people (like my parents caring for our other kids and my husband having to sit in the hall with the baby waiting for me). I feel tight and strained before leaving and like I have trouble “transitioning” between states–Class Mode and Mama Mode are different modes! Then, when I get home, it feels like I can take a full breath again. So, that’s my tie-in!

I also thought about inspiration–the breath of inspiration–and how I feel constantly awash with inspiration lately, but with very minimal time in the day to let it flow. I’m having to choose carefully and let go often. While I still wish to work some important projects of my own this year (notably my dissertation), I also don’t want to miss out on any opportunities to sit in my rocking chair with my baby. That means being very careful. I spoke a “declaration of NO” in the woods a few days ago and it was very clear that I must fiercely conserve my energy this year. No one else will do it for me.

Categories: #30daysofBrigid, family, self-care | 2 Comments

Imbolc Meditation

Posted on January 31, 2015 by Molly

If you pause in darkness what does your body have to tell you? What do your dreams have to tell you? What does the frozen ground have to tell you? What do the spirits of place have to tell you?

What song can only be sung by you?

What emberheart can only be ignited by your breath?

What path have your feet found?

What messages are carved in stone and etched on leaf for your eyes and in your name?

What promise are you keeping?

Imbolc.
Time for your light to shine
from within the sheltering dark.

—

Note: Modified from a prior post, I shared this on my SageWoman blog earlier in the week and then decided to include it here also.

Categories: blessings, holidays, liturgy, meditations, ritual, sacred pause, seasons, self-care, spirituality, woodspriestess | Leave a comment

Let Go

Posted on January 27, 2015 by Molly

I keep getting a STRONG “let go” message from all kinds of places, but I persist in arguing with reality and my tendency to be controlling. Also, I think the “let gos” can be interpreted in many different ways. My husband says it can be seen as a “let go and soar” type of reminder. I see it sometimes as being told to surrender and also to “give up” (and that makes me wail and gnash my teeth). Sometimes it is a gentle reminder to sink into the moment and breathe, feeling the weight of the baby on my shoulder, sniffing his head, looking out the window at sunlight and shadow. Sometimes it is permission to literally let go of something—possessions, tasks, adding something else to the calendar. Sometimes it is a mental “unclenching” and letting go—ideas, should dos, possibilities for later. I also find a connection between the let go message and our word of the year, which is “Grow.” So, let go in order to grow.

This reminder is also helpful:

“Would a weight lift off my shoulders if I realized that it’s normal to feel pulled between choices, that it’s normal to want to do more than I have time or energy for, and that it’s normal to have to choose between two equally wonderful things, that it’s actually a sign I’m a fascinating, amazing person?”

–Jennifer Louden, The Life Organizer

I always say that I want to live well and wisely my one wild and precious life and to me that means making conscious decisions every day to pull my actions into alignment with my values. It is an ongoing process. I live in a rich and fascinating world full of endless possibility and promise. Letting go can be about wise discernment as well. (I joke that my other word of the year is “ruthless.” Ruthless discernment about how, where, and why to spend my time and energy.)

I went to the woods a few days ago feeling taut and tight and pulled between choices and right in front of me was yet another lesson from the forest, the big tree I so enjoy had let go of one of its large branches. I walked down to look at it more closely and noticed the bark on the trunk is starting to decay and I anticipate that in the next two years or so, I will need to let go of this tree’s companionship in the woodspace, because it is letting go of its life here on the hillside.

I come to the woods to let go and to be cleansed. To sit with myself. To uncover truths. To salve wounds. For clarity, focus, for the feeling of the sweet wind blowing it away, the solid earth absorbing it. The grand sweep of the sky from horizon to horizon like a bowl. To look at the leaves on the ground. To notice the fallen branch of the tree. To feel the coldness of rock under my bones. To make contact with the wild sweeping majesty of it all and the size so vast that my own little feelings and concerns become dust and the well-worn, unhelpful thought processes that wind their way through my brain and twist me up can become unkinked, unknotted, and released to drift away on the breeze, dissolving, unclenching, letting go.

Postscript: I originally started this post ten days ago and have had to repeatedly let go of publishing it! 😉

Categories: nature, seasons, self-care, woodspriestess | Leave a comment

Dance in a circle of women…

Posted on September 15, 2014 by Molly

Dance in a circle of women
Make a web of life
Hold me as I spiral and spin
Make a web of my life…

—Marie Summerwood

Apparently, it takes me a complete year to finish “processing” my annual Gaea Goddess Gathering experience and finally writing a blog post about it! At the moment, I’m embroiled in packing and preparations to go to this year’s event beginning later in this week and don’t really have time for in-depth posts…but, here I am. I’m traveling this year with two friends and meeting my mom, sister-in-law, and another friend there (as well as friends made at past events too). One of the things I realized last year was how much I appreciated the sense of connection and community with a larger circle of women than just our own small local group.

One of the songs we sang, danced, and drummed to around the fire at GGG in 2013 was Dance in a Circle of Women. I’ve been humming to myself as I pack for this year’s event. I created the pewter pendant design shown above based on the song and also this one, which we’ve had trouble casting properly and thus only a very small quantity exist (traveling with me, not available online yet!):

At this year’s festival, I am vending as well as giving a workshop on Womanrunes. I’m also going to be 8 months pregnant, but I won’t be bringing any kids with me this year (other than the one inside!), which hopefully means my attention will be less fragmented than in years past. I’m a little worried that the twin demands of my merchant booth and wanting to go to the various good happenings will create a similar sense of fragmentation though.

One of the things I enjoy about the GGG is collecting resources to bring home to my own community. I jotted down lyrics to these songs from the 2013 festival and have used some of them locally:

Make sacred space
Remember who you are

–Shawna Carol

(we sang this one during the main ritual on Saturday night and it was lovely in the darkness, surrounded by candles and be-robed women!)

Oh woman
Oh sister
She is me

Holding me
That I may hold you

Forever goddess

(we sang this one in the rain during the dedication of the 2013 temple to Brigid)

I am alive
I am beautiful
I am creative
I am…
I can do anything
I put my heart and mind into.

(this one is a raucous and delightful experience when shouted out in call-and-response format by the fireside. I’ve used it several times since experiencing it at GGG with Priestess Kim.)

—

So, as I described in a past post, the morning after our 2013 return, I’d typed up a list of fabulous insights gleaned from the experience and my ipad “notes” feature experienced a bizarre glitch never experienced before or since and deleted my entire list. I was able to remember some of them and re-type them, but after that moment they never made it into another post of their own:

…After my unbinding ritual, I walked slowly back to the house feeling light and contemplative. Inside, before anyone else woke up, I typed up all of my reflections and insights from this year’s [2013] GGG. I felt integrated, settled, whole, and at peace. I went to do laundry and when I was in the room, I thought of something else to include in my list which was going to be a later blog post. I returned to my screen where the insightful note had been waiting for me and it was gone. Never to be recovered. I could NOT believe it. All my insights! All my wisdom! Gone! I have to start over…But, then I really just had to laugh and cry a little, because here was another insight, another lesson, another hiccup in my story. And, not everything has to be a blog post after all….

via Be Still | WoodsPriestess.

Since it is time for 2014’s event already, I decided to just put up my unfinished, unformatted, incomplete, re-created list from last year and here it is…

I find it is hard for me to have “spiritual experiences” in a group, vs. alone. I do not necessarily know how to create that atmosphere for others. I know how to create a “retreat” atmosphere, but not really a “spiritual experience” atmosphere.
I was way too attached to past experience and therefore had difficult appreciating the experience in front of me.
I had to stare right in the face that I’d come primarily to collect, rather than share. I found myself feeling disappointed by certain elements on multiple occasions and realized that part of it was my own fault for wanting to collect rather than share.
I had a disquieting sensation of the women there not knowing who I am—and, I didn’t show them. I felt like I kept what I am capable of and good at hidden. I realized I feel taken for granted a little in own community. I came wanting to “receive” again, but could have/should have given. I unbound my 2012 medicine bundle when I got home and I absolutely should have done so before (literally and metaphorically). Released ties that bind…
Context matters and brings compassion
Unlike the preceding year, I had several experiences in which I felt encouraged to be less—to dim my shine…

[from 2013 post on my other blog]

…When I attended the GGG this year, one of the realizations I came home with is that sometimes I feel like people are trying to get me to be less (more about this some other time). And, I remembered a session I had with a healer who did a somatic repatterning process with me—one of the beliefs she tested on me was, “I am not enough.” It got a marginal response, but then she tested, “I am TOO MUCH.” And, THAT is the one that tested as true. I wonder how much about myself that I try to change or that I struggle with actually comes from the fear of being, too much. Too intense. Too active. Too talkative. Too much thinking, too much writing, too many ideas, too many projects, too much waving of my hands and pacing when I talk. Too, too, too, too much.

via Blogging, Busyness, and Life: Part 1 | Talk Birth.

Previously quoted here: via The Warrior-Priestess | WoodsPriestess.

As referenced above, not everything a story or blog post.
Also as referenced earlier, my attention felt very split by having my toddler daughter with me. I very much look forward to the experience of going alone this year, while I also look forward to eventually taking her with me again when she is a little bit older.
I still lack confidence/standing in personal power in a variety of settings/contexts.
The experiences that were the most potent were those unanticipated or planned for, like a misty morning walk around the lake with my sister-in-law, or watching the full moon rise over the ritual circle.
It is possible to forge a connection with the land somewhere other than where I live.
I like new experiences—fresh surprises. Unexpected experiences hold most power. What I was looking forward to/expecting was a letdown, what I did not have preconceived notions about was rewarding.
I very much appreciated and enjoyed the opportunity to spend quality time with my sister-in-law and before this experience had never spent time with her one on one without my brother or my mom also around.
Another unlooked for and unexpected experience was when I was volunteering as as temple priestess in Brigid’s temple and the main altar caught fire. I beat the flaming vines and tablecloth and candles out with my sandal while wearing my toddler daughter in a baby carrier asleep on my chest. It was a fiery initiation into service to Brigid and I think was actually the beginning “spark” of our business dedicated to her (I heard in the woods during a woodspriestess experience last year that Brigid does not need/want me as a priestess [that service is to Gaia], but she wants us as “dedicants.”)
Being a merchant was really fun. It was also a significant expenditure of energy.
I had several experiences and conversations that told me I might be overlooking the capacities of those around me.
I noticed that while being an excellent bonding and sisterhood experience there might also be an inhibiting factor to be present with existing friends and relatives (both in the sense of me possibly inhibiting them and them me), because we have such history and past, established means of interacting with each other/what we expect from each other, etc., so perhaps we were embarrassed to “let it all hang out” (emotionally and literally!), because we have an existing friendship rather than a festival only relationship/friendship. However, at the same time, it was also an opportunity to deepen, grow, and know each other better and I’d much rather have that than a once-a-year-festival-based friendship, that is likely less whole and authentic, though also perhaps less complicated too.

I also made a lot of observations about the role of non-facilitating members during rituals as well, previously explored in part in this past post:

…I witnessed how easily a ritual can lose power when the co-circlers do not take the ritual seriously. It is easy and simplistic to point to the Priestess as the one who “failed” to hold the energy of the circle, but the responsibility for the circle belongs to all its members. Ruth Barrett in Women’s Rites, Women’s Mysteries explains the responsibilities of circle participants as such: “Ritual Priestessing is not for the faint of heart. If you fear chaos, the unexpected, or the unforeseen, choose another vocation. A ritual facilitator regularly finds herself in challenging situations that are not at all what she originally planned. In order to facilitate others, you first need to know how to be a good participant. I don’t believe that it is possible for a woman to priestess/facilitate a ritual effectively until she first knows how to truly participate in one…”

I would also add “avoid heckling.” What does this mean? In my observations at the GGG, I noticed a trend for circle participants to call out different comments in a joking way, either across the circle or to the woman facilitating the ceremony. While it seemed to be done in a light-hearted way and perhaps was the local custom of this group of women, the effect on the group as a whole was striking. The “heckling”—at least to me—led to palpable energy “leaks” in the ritual container and resulted in a commensurate drop in the power and focus of the circle.

via Co-Circling & The Priestess Path | WoodsPriestess.

Continuing my jotted notes:

No heckling
The middle of ritual matters—a successful ritual has to have a working phase
It is easy to be critical and when you’re just watching.
Low energy? How do we contribute to that? Group members hold powerful responsibility too!
Leadership matters and is big responsibility and sacred duty.
Letting go of self-pressure, perhaps in the name of “self-care,” can have a definite negative impact on others (this is more a judgement by me of others, though I want to take heed of what I noticed so I don’t do the same thing to other people—I noticed that phrases like, “cut yourself slack” or “be flexible” or “go with the flow,” or, “don’t put too much pressure on yourself,” can be used as excuses for doing a bad job, letting other people down, and failing, basically).

And, some pictures (captions will show if you click to enlarge):

My Brigid medallion arrived just in time for me to wear!

This is what a packed van prepared for GGG looks like!

Detour to Target.

Triple Goddess banners on the main stage.

It was raining and so the temple dedication ritual was held inside the pavilion rather than the temple.

Lovely gemstones from one of the presentations.

Fell in love with this cherry quartz sphere.

Those stairs again!

One of the beautiful, unexpected experiences was watching the full moon rise over the ritual circle.

The temple at night was a magical place!

Dance in a circle of women…

The next day we experienced a full moon sunrise, which felt pretty special.

Some of my booth wares.

The fire damage at the temple.

My little maiden has some tea from Brigid’s temple

Misty morning walk.

Nature is sharp sometimes!

Untying the bundle…

Related past posts:

Gaea Goddess Gathering: Listen to the wise woman….

I make the effort

The Warrior-Priestess

Co-Circling & The Priestess Path

Be Still

Moonpriestess

Woodspriestess: Brigid

Categories: community, friends, GGG, Goddess, night, priestess, retreat, reviews, ritual, self-care, spirituality, thealogy, womanspirit, women, women's circle | 3 Comments

Dogwood Flowers

Posted on May 2, 2014 by Molly

Each day
offers new gifts
new mysteries
new discoveries
new promise
kissed with rain
and garnished
with dogwood blossoms…

via Woodspriestess: Real Magic | WoodsPriestess.

The dogwood trees have been beautiful again this year. Last year at this time was very stressful. After noticing and taking pictures of the dogwood flowers again this year I re-read one of my old posts and it brought back the memory of finding solace in the dogwoods, strung through the woods like lace:

Greening air

Dogwood lace

I just love the dogwood flowers against the blue sky!

Restoring soul

Sacred place…

via Woodspriestess: Dogwood | WoodsPriestess.

I am a little taut and overextended and perpetually “out of time” again lately (always?!). It seems like no matter what I cut out of my schedule, something else oozes into that spot and I’m right back at the same point and making decisions about what to trim and what to keep. You will notice this blog has been very quiet lately and that is because I’ve been trying to direct my writing energy into three projects: my M.Div thesis project, a poetry book freebie for our spring newsletter for Brigid’s Grove, and finishing the content for my Womanrunes book (to launch in September). I also have several new classes at OSC that just opened for the spring semester and I’m eager to work on all of them. However, what has really happened, is I haven’t written much of anything and I’m struggling with that. Trying to remember that I’m hitting a busy part of the session with regard to teaching and that grading papers eats up free writing time, but it is NOT permanent and I do myself no good by becoming despairing about how I have “no time,” because the time will come back (not for at least three weeks though!). I was planning to do another month of woodspriestess posts for May since it is my birthday month, but luckily before I even I got started, I realized that was a fairly ridiculous expectation to consciously add to myself!

Anyway, maybe I just need to take a ramble through the woods and look at dogwoods…

Happy Beltane! (a little late)

Categories: nature, self-care, woodspriestess | Leave a comment

Spell for Family Balance

Posted on March 10, 2014 by Molly

Cross-posted at Pagan Families.

For a number of years we’ve had a family mantra: our family works in harmony to meet each member’s needs. At times, I’ve felt like I’m repeating it through clenched teeth. At times, I have felt that none of our needs are being met well and at times I’ve felt like harmony is a distant, unattainable treasure. However, we keep using it and sometimes, sometimes it feels like we’re there. I do not subscribe to the ideal of the self-sacrificing parent. I refuse to repeat the cliche that “everyone has to make sacrifices” and I refuse to see my work in parenting as a sacrificial endeavor. Our family works in harmony to meet each member’s needs. Each member of the family is important. Each person, including both parents, has needs and our family unit is responsible for working together to help each other and to contribute our best to a healthy, well-functioning, happy, harmonious family.

I am a professor who works mainly from home and teaches outside of the home once a week. My husband and I have a shared goddess art business. We homeschool our kids. We know we are lucky to have two parents in the home almost full-time and to be able to live on the income produced by only one out-of-the-home day per week for one parent (though this arrangement was also only possible beginning July of last year after careful planning, hard work, and a leap of faith). I teach on an eight-week session schedule. The final week of the session involves piles of papers to grade and final exams to give. While we know it is coming and I’ve been keeping this schedule since 2009, it throws our family out of balance every time. Our family works in harmony to meet each family’s needs. Hahahahahahahahahahaha! ::::sob:::: I begin to feel as if no one is getting what they need from me and I’m not getting what I need from myself. I’m snappy at my husband and feel beleaguered and put upon and unappreciated and unsupported. I start casting around for things to quit because somehow, I must STOP doing everything. I must reclaim myself and some sensation of harmony. Then, magically, the session ends. I did manage to do it all…again. I am often left with a lingering sense of frustration and dissatisfaction and am often heard to make the vow, “next session will be different,” and typically attempt to enact sweeping family changes that will Change Our Lives ™.

Recently, I reviewed a jazzy little book called Goddess Spells for Busy Girls. Written by Patheos writer Jen McConnel, this book is a collection of 80 simple spells using readily accessible materials and focused on 25 different goddesses. Each goddess is carefully chosen for relevant spells and appropriate cautions are issued about not calling upon a goddess like Sekhmet lightly or on a goddess like Aphrodite with an irrelevant issue. The book is somewhat like a “recipe book” of suggested spells for busy women, with each mini-ritual requiring as little as five minutes (or one hour. It is up to you!).

Written in a casual and conversational tone that feels intended primarily for single or non-parent women in their 20’s-30’s, the book’s lightweight attitude towards magic and the “sparkle” added by goddesses may feel either accessible and friendly or insufficiently serious, depending on your own spiritual path. However, as a parent who always has her eyes open for material to add to my own family’s full moon rituals, I found the brief length of several of the spells to be very appropriate for working with my children. Related to our family mantra, this Spell for Family Balance immediately caught my eye:

No matter who constitutes your family, sometimes it can be hard to please everyone. Use this spell to help you find balance in tricky situations.

You will need:

About six inches each of red, black, and white thread (I use embroidery floss, but yarn works, too.)

1. This spell is best done outside, or at least in a well-lit room. Take the three strands of thread. Tie a knot using all three threads at once, and try to position your knot as close to the center as possible.

2. Say, “I am bound by ties of love.” Starting at the knot first, begin to braid the three threads. Tie off the end. Now, begin to braid the threads beneath the knot. Tie off the threads.

3. Put this charm in your kitchen (the junk drawer is an ideal place). Whenever you are feeling stretched or stressed about your family, take out the charm and look at it…

(p. 48)

While I may need to repeat this every eight weeks, I found it a simple and soothing affirmation of the ties that bind, and that bond, our family.

Our family works in harmony to meet each family’s needs.

—

Disclaimer: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.

Categories: family, Goddess, parenting, reviews, self-care, spirituality | 3 Comments

Stepping into Ourselves

Posted on February 13, 2014 by Molly

“There is also another mother….You walk upon her body. Her breasts grow your food. Her spirit is Nature. If you listen, you can hear her words carried by the wind. She says, ‘You are my daughter. You live with me.’ She spreads a cape of ferns, primroses and daisies around your shoulders. Your wounds suck healing salve from her cape. She is patient. She turns anger into poetry and grief into song. She is an alchemist of ages, wiser with each passing. She does not demand conformity. This mother is always tending and teaching you.”~ Louise M. Wisechild

“Trees are great teachers. The trees are great listeners. That is why we should meditate in their presence. The Great spirit is in every rock, every animal, every human being and in every tree. The Great Spirit has been in some trees for hundreds of years. Therefore, the trees have witnessed and heard much. The trees are the Elders of the Elders. Their spirits are strong and very healing.” —Mary Hayes, Clayoqout

I finally had a chance to draw my Full Moon Calamandala* for 2014!

Last week my long-awaited copy of Stepping Into Ourselves: An Anthology of Writings on Priestesses arrived in the mail! I’ve had a lot going on personally, some very stressful, and so I’ve only gotten to read a little bit of it so far, but I’m enjoying it very much. Here are some wonderful quotes from the book:

The work of a priestess is to create and keep open a channel between the seen and seldom seen realms in which we live, in relationship and in service to a community. It is not enough for the priestess to be able to contact spirit and travel in that dimension herself: a trained and experienced priestess can create a doorway between the worlds that is wide enough for others to join her there and those people, by joining, expand the opening still further so that the flow of power is strong and transformative for all present.

From “I am the Earth: The Priestess in Service to Community” by Deidre Pulgram Arthen

—

On a very primal level, seeing women hold power in the public spiritual sphere stimulates people’s belief and trust that women can therefore be an authority in other places, as in political office, or corporations. The impact of the symbolic role of the priestess in public ritual reaches into our psyche; this is why it’s important that priestesses be seen performing public rituals and openly invoking the Goddess.

From “The Priestess as Wedding Ceremonialist” by Josephine MacMillan.

—

There is no one way to be a priestess; each of us, as a unique individual with her unique connection to the Goddess, can bring her own vision into the role. The Goddess of many faces is enriched by priestesses with different understandings of the part.

From “Reclaiming Adam and Eve: The work of a Priestess in Israel” by Hava Montauriano.

—

She who is priestess experiences the calling to hold the whole of the cosmos in reverence, to observe the tides and seasons and to immerse in marking the life of the cosmos through spiritual celebration.

From “Priestess: Born Unto Herself’ by Pamela Eakins.

—

“A facilitator is a woman who makes the way easier; as an act of service, she assists in creating the experience of the participants. Like a guide on a journey, the facilitator’s responsibility is to hold the vision, the purpose; to keep the compass, to know what the ultimate destination of the ritual journey is, and help everyone get there and back safely.”

From “Priestessing Ritual” by Ruth Barrett

This post today is basically a potpourri post of other posts that have caught my attention!

Posted via Lucy at Dreaming Aloud on Facebook:

Just the other day, talking to a dear friend I realised out loud that my books are my biggest prayers, blessings from my soul to those yet unknown souls who dream the same dreams, worry the same worries. So I loved this quote from best selling author John Green: “Don’t make stuff because you want to make money — it will never make you enough money. And don’t make stuff because you want to get famous — because you will never feel famous enough. Make gifts for people — and work hard on making those gifts in the hope that those people will notice and like the gifts. Maybe they will notice how hard you worked, and maybe they won’t — and if they don’t notice, I know it’s frustrating. But, ultimately, that doesn’t change anything — because your responsibility is not to the people you’re making the gift for, but to the gift itself.”

This is how I feel also—that when I create my pieces or when I plan a ritual, I’m offering a gift to others (even though I do still charge for my artwork!). I wrote about the connection I feel through my sculptures in the post that went up on Feminism and Religion this morning (based on one originally published here):

Goddesscraft.
Womancraft.
Lifecraft.
Who molds who?
Who sculpts who?
Is it just one beautiful dance
of exuberant co-creation?

via Echoes of Mesopotamia by Molly

On a related note, we’re having a giveaway on the Brigid’s Grove FB page of one of our new womb labyrinth pendants. BONUS: if you also “like” the Brigid’s Grove Facebook page itself (not just the picture), you will be entered to win a bonus giveaway for one of our basic Brigid’s Sacred Oak/tree of life pendants. Make sure to leave a comment on this post letting me know that you did so though!

At the end of January, I had a guest post on a lovely blog by a woman in South Africa whose work focuses on the healing energy of Gaia:

Imaginary friend?
I think not
I am the ebb and pulse of all existence
of all life
the invisible web
weaving its way
throughout you and around you every day

via Guest Post:Theapoetics and the Woodspriestess by Molly | Jodi Sky Rogers.

I enjoy the gifts offered by other women as well. Paola at Goddess Spiral Health Coaching has added free virtual Full Moon Gratitude Circles to her offerings (FB event here):

I wanted sisters who were sowing the seeds of their intentions to have a chance share what has come to fruition. I also wanted sisters to be able to focus on the blessings they did have and open up the space for more abundance. With these thoughts in mind, I created the Full Moon Gratitude Circles because I believe that…

..the act of gratitude focuses us on the abundance in our lives—welcoming even more abundance in! Gratitude is a practice that can benefit you at all levels- physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Will you join us experiencing the beauty of following the lunar cycle and acknowledging the power of manifesting the life you love? ♥

via Full Moon Gratitude Circles | Goddess Spiral Health Coaching.

And, I’ve been steadily listening to the worldwide presentations organized by DeAnna L’am and offered as the Red Tent World Summit: DeAnnaLam | Coming of Age Made Easy, Womanhood Made Richer, Red Tent in every neighborhood.

All of these experiences bring me to this delicious quote:

“[For centuries women have] had to withdraw their power – withdraw their energetic movement and flow. It had to be protected and hidden as the chalice of the woman had to survive.

Now it is time for all to bring out their chalice – to gather their “tribe” – to radiate their energetic flow. Now it is time to find the “especial genius” that is intuitively woman. It is time for women to openly exhibit their power, their knowledge, and their leadership. The ancient symbol of unity is the circle. It is the sacred hoop of wholeness and female power. It represents the feminine spirit in a sacred space that is unbreakable. It is time to bring the circle – the hoop – to its power.

It is time to restore the balance of the energies. For this to happen, you must first restore your own power – restore your own energies so that the balance of the humanity “tribe” can be restored and all be lifted in the eternal flame of love. It is time to celebrate all of woman, in all of her beauty.”

via Sometimes You Have to Create The Thing You Want to Be Part Of – A Contemporary Perspective.

This past weekend, we had our seventh Rise Up class at my home. A friend that I haven’t seen in a very long time came to the class along with another dear out-of-town friend and it made my heart sing to see them both. It was such a deep delight to have them there, it is hard to even explain it. Before the rest of the participants arrived, one of these friends, my mom and I practiced the circle dance (from Dances of Universal Peace) that we would later use during the class section on Kwan Yin. As I looked across at their faces and the reality of dancing together there in my living room hit me, I said, “I love us!” And, I do. I feel very fortunate to have these women in my life.

During the class, one of the concepts was referenced that in working with Tara, we have the opportunity to create a ritual that is in itself a sort of “mandala of the whole universe”—the ritual is then like a miniature version, a microcosm, of that pattern which is expressed at a larger level. In Stepping Into Ourselves, D’vorah Grenn writes about Jewish priestesses (Kohanot) and says: “Being a priestess can be exhausting. Without proper shielding and protection, women can find their precious energies only going out, and too rarely being being replenished. We must continually find new and effective ways to guard against becoming depleted. Every day, we witness the positive, transformative effects of, ‘restoring women to ceremony’…another reason it is vital that we continue our work…” (p. 56).

Restoring women to ceremony. I absolutely loved this. Priestess work occurs in the context of community. I so value the women who show up to do this work with me.

—

*My 2012 Calamandala is on my other blog: Full Moon Calendar Mandala | Talk Birth and my 2013 one is here: 2013 Moon Calamandala | WoodsPriestess.)

Categories: community, friends, priestess, quotes, resources, self-care, spirituality, womanspirit, women, women's circle | 6 Comments

Birth of a new year

Posted on December 29, 2013 by Molly

“Let’s work together, you and I,
alongside earthsongbeat,
heartfirst, handtouch
souldance.
please.”

–Holly Wilkinson
(in We’Moon on the Wall, 2014)

Today my husband and I set a date to start our 2014 biz and year planning using Leonie Dawson’s annual workbook, which was a very thoughtful solstice gift to me from a good friend. We got started on our planning session a little later in the afternoon than we’d hoped, but rather than let that derail us, we just did it anyway (Leonie would approve, I think). It was important to me that we set up a nurturing and inspiring little nook in which to work, with items near us that symbolize some of our intentions and goals for 2014:

We even added some snacks (and some wine and tea!) as we went…

And, then some kids….

Interestingly, we finished out the 2013 review section of the workbook and right as we finished putting our hands on the “closing circle” page to symbolize the ending of 2013, the candle went out in our altar space on its own. And, right then the kids got home as well. (Not-so-symbolically signaling the ending of our time to work uninterrupted!) After the kids came home, our focus definitely waned and we decided it was a natural pausing point anyway, since it was the start of the 2014 section of the book. We fixed dinner and came back to our planning nook later in the evening. One of the things I wrote down for 2014 was to listen to my body and to honor natural pauses, calls to rest, need to eat, and so on. We realized as we got to number 35 on the “things to do in 2014” list that we were both yawning and starting to feel a little more trapped than inspired. Rather than push forward and force it, which can be my habitual inclination, I said, “hey, I think we’ve done great with this today. Let’s pick back up tomorrow morning when we feel full of energy and possibility again!” And, this felt like the right answer, even though the planning part of me had envisioned doing the whole entire workbook TODAY and really we only got through the first pages of 2014. We already feel more organized and clear about what needs to change with our household organization and business planning. Looking forward to what tomorrow holds…

Categories: family, friends, parenting, resources, retreat, ritual, self-care | 2 Comments

Beauty Way

Posted on December 27, 2013 by Molly

“The quality of our laughter and joy, the knowledge of our voices, thoughts and actions are weaving beauty around the land. –Dhyani Ywahoo (in Open Mind, 12/27)

Today after a long day of errands in town, I asked my husband if he’d like to go down to the woods with me and drum for a little bit before taking a walk. He has been down there quite a few times before (these rocks were part of the reason we bought our land in the first place), but never to drum with me. I looked at him on the rocks with the drum and said, “it has been almost a year and I’m still seeing things in the woods I’ve never seen before!” 😉

Categories: family, nature, quotes, self-care | Leave a comment

Winter Solstice Ritual Ideas

Posted on December 20, 2013 by Molly

Inviting Our Light to Shine

When you celebrate the winter solstice,
May your light shine.
When you share love,
May your light shine.
When you work for peace,
May your light shine.
When you teach a child about justice,
May your light shine.
When you comfort someone who is ill,
May your light shine.
When you grieve the loss of a loved one,
May your light shine.
When you are challenged to change,
May your light shine.
When you (add your own intention here),
May your light shine.
Bless yourself with the light.
Your light will shine.

via December Ritual: Winter Solstice by Diann L. Neu | WATER – Women’s Alliance for Theology, Ethics and Ritual.

I have not yet finalized my own plans for our family’s winter solstice ritual tomorrow night. I feel somewhat paralyzed about it and I think I’ve finally figured out that it is because I have too many ideas. I have so many saved plans and possibilities (a 32 page word document to be exact) and I’m having trouble choosing and thus forming a coherent ritual structure that will appeal to everyone. I’m trying to keep clearly in focus the fact that my kids need to enjoy this too and I know that that means more doing and less talking. But, dang it, I want to do some soulful year-in-review reflection and new year planning. I’m going to save some of those ideas for New Year’s Eve, I think, even if I have to complete them alone and maybe save some for our women’s retreat in January. (Note to self: this is a lot of stuff to be working on once. Duh. No wonder you feel a little fried!) I don’t want to do “too much,” but I also want to do “enough” (and enough means to me that I feel satisfied and fulfilled with the experience and not like I’m cutting corners because I’m worried about boring the kids and not frazzled because I’m cramming in too much…hence, my paralysis, because I’m not sure these are compatible wishes!)

So, I thought I’d share my collection of resources that I’m using to prepare for this ritual. I’m posting early today, because I want to make sure anyone who is interested knows that there is a free online solstice ritual tonight from Shiloh Sophia (there is a cool little workbook that comes with it and it is full of the kinds of things I think I envision my own ritual holding—the year-in-review stuff—but that I know from past experience is too much for kids to handle without getting bored. Maybe I can accept that this is something I work on alone at night, instead of expecting it to be a community/family experience): Winter Solstice Super Power Ritual LIVE Event | Shiloh Sophia Studios

I’m also excited about this free, downloadable meditation (which may again be best for my solitary self rather than sharing with ALL THE PEOPLE): Winter Holiday Transformation Guided Journey

And, a lovely short ritual from WATER, already excerpted above: December Ritual: Winter Solstice by Diann L. Neu | WATER – Women’s Alliance for Theology, Ethics and Ritual

My own She is Crone poem appears in the Winter Solstice edition of The Oracle from Global Goddess: Winter Solstice 2013 | Global Goddess

Some assorted other delicious links for you (and me):

I previously shared this helpful link for family celebrations: Pagan Family Sabbats and Esbats | Rituals for moms, dads, and kids to celebrate the 8 Pagan Sabbats and Esbats

I love this exploration of the symbolic meaning of the winter solstice from Glenys Livingstone:

Winter Solstice is the time for the lighting of candles, for embracing the miracle of being, for choosing a joyful response to the awesome fact of existence, for celebrating the Gift of Birth. Birthing is not often an easy process – for the birthgiver nor for the birthed one: it is a shamanic act requiring strength of bodymind, attention and focus of the mother, and courage to be of the new young one. Birthgiving is the original place of “heroics” … many cultures of the world have never forgotten that: perhaps therefore better termed as “heraics²” . Patriarchal adaptations of the story of this Seasonal Moment usually miss the Creative Act of birthgiving completely – pre-occupied as they often are with the “virgin” nature of the Mother being interpreted as an “intact hymen”, and the focus being the Child as “saviour”: even the Mother gazes at the Child in Christian icons, while in more ancient images Her eyes are direct and expressive of Her integrity as Creator.

Winter Solstice and Early Spring rituals may be a contemplation of the Creativity of the Cosmos – Cosmogenesis … how it All unfolds. When told from within a “Mother-mind” – a mind that connects the biological creativity of the female body to Cosmic Creativity, to our “Navel” lineage, to the Nativity of every being, then we are all the Holy Ones. And we all – female and male – may know the skill and care required for “birthing” the New, whether that is physical, psychological or however one categorizes it. In Earth-based religious practice, the ubiquitous icon of Mother and Child – Creator and Created – expresses something essential about the Universe itself … the “motherhood” we are all born within (not simply a “brotherhood”). It expresses the essential Communion experience that this Cosmos is, the innate and holy Care that it takes, and the reciprocal nature of it: that is, how one is always Creator and Created at the same time. We cannot touch without being touched at the same time. We may realize that Cosmogenesis – the entire Unfolding of the Cosmos – is essentially relational: our experience tells us this is so.

The Early Spring/Imbolc celebration is traditionally a time of dedication to the nurturance of the New Young Being. Once again, this is no wimpy task: it is for the brave and courageous, whether one is committing to the new being in another or in one’s self. The Great Goddess Brigid of the Celtic peoples is traditionally invoked for such a task. She has been understood for millennia as the One Who tends the Flame of Being: a Brigid-ine commitment is one that is unwavering in its devotion to the central truth of each unique particular self. The stories of Old speak of Brigid in three primary capacities – that may need spelling out in our times, as they are almost forgotten skills: She is imagined as Blacksmith, Physician and Poet … all three.

Blacksmith is one who takes the unshapely lump of raw metal, melts it, then takes the fiery hot form and shapes it … this is no stereotypical “feminine” act: the Goddess of Old is not bound by such patriarchal dualisms. She is spiritual warrior, shaman – this is Her eternal Virgin quality, never separate from the Mother quality or the Old One quality, and no need to characterize such power as “masculine” or dissociate it from “nursery” activity.

Physician is one who understands the “physics” of being, of matter … how a body relates within itself and within its context, functions harmoniously and thus may heal/whole. In this role, Brigid is scientist, healer … none of it separate. Her physics is biologically connected – an understanding of dwelling within a whole and seamless Universe.

Poet of Old is one who speaks the metaphors, the stories of cultural knowledge, the sacred language of Creativity – one who “spells” what may be so. It is a power of spirit: the voice enabled by air, resonant with the winged ones – the birds – whose perspective transcends boundaries. The ancients knew Poetry as a sacred and powerful task – that with our words, we do create what is so. Brigid’s “motherhood statements” are statements of the Mother/Creator, Who once again is never separate from Her whole self – the Young One and the Old One – represented in the Triple Spiral dynamic.

The coming into Being that Winter Solstice and Early Spring celebrates, is an awesome thing. It takes courage and daring. It has taken courage and daring – always. In these times of change, it is perhaps particularly so. Our times require the melting down of so much that no longer works, that will not carry us through. These times require the re-shaping and speaking of new realities – an aboriginal magic of new connections, with what is already present within us, if we can but plumb it, open to it deep within. This is a great seasonal moment to get with the plot of Creativity, to align ourselves with our Native Wisdom …the Wisdom that in fact brings us all into being. We may re-spond to the gift of being by receiving it graciously – and thus become re-sponsible. Though we may feel inadequate, we are not – and we need to begin…

Winter-Spring Earth Wisdom | PaGaian Cosmology

And, I breathed deeply when I read this great suggestion from Tracie Nichols:

Get back in your body. I use this meditation to do that.

Listen for which part of your body would like to speak. If it doesn’t show up immediately, listen some more. Still got nothing? Stop checking your phone and listen again. It WILL make itself known.

Open with a kind and loving statement (see mine above for inspiration) so you are consciously committing to listening and letting your body know how much you love and respect her/him.

Record your conversation with whatever method of creative expression you like best. Journal. Poetry. Art. Dance. Music. Whatever works for you.

Say “Thank you!”

Decide if any action needs to be taken, and take it.

via How not to implode during the holiday chaos… » Tracie Nichols.

My “productive” mode says: keep working, design a fabulous ritual! But, my hungry belly that hasn’t yet had breakfast says: feed me. Please! So, that’s what I’m going to do 🙂

May you enjoy a rich, peaceful solstice with your own family and loved ones! May you be blessed by light and may you find wisdom and solace in dark, deep, places. Do not get so distracted by the promise of the light that you forget the great value in endarkenment as well.

Categories: blessings, community, endarkenment, family, holidays, liturgy, parenting, prayers, priestess, resources, ritual, self-care, spirituality | 2 Comments

Wholeheartedness

Posted on December 19, 2013 by Molly

“Wisdom comes from applying yourself wholeheartedly to whatever you’re doing. The lessons in life are in everything.” –Pema Chodron (in Open Mind, 12/18)

Tonight after I finally extricated myself from my children and stumbled down to the woods in the dark to stand briefly in the light of the full moon, I recognized myself falling into a familiar pattern of self-recrimination—of wishing I was better than I am and feeling annoyed and frustrated with myself for having become annoyed and frustrated by my family. We spent all day today having a “Hobbit Day”—eating a series of themed foods while watching the first Hobbit movie and then driving into town to watch the second Hobbit movie in the theater. It was great fun, but by the time we got back home, the rest of my to-dos felt pretty hopelessly piled up around me and I felt somewhat abandoned in my efforts to get them done before bedtime (such as pack up Christmas gifts for out-of-town relatives). I also am behind on planning my family’s winter solstice ritual and really expected to have a chance to finalize those plans today. I feel perpetually behind on many things much of the time and more just keep coming. No breaks.

The final straw tonight was when I opened up my bag of cinnamon sticks that I’d bought to make cinnamon stick stars with on solstice or New Year’s Eve and they’re totally, ridiculously, uselessly short. It is too late to send them back, too late to order more, and they’re dumb and I feel dumb for having ordered them too hastily without checking the size. When I went to the woods feeling as if I should be more better, I took some of the cinnamon sticks with me to leave as an offering of sorts and to be a reminder that I’ve let go of that perfection worm as well as apologizing for things I don’t need to apologize for. When I came back in, we wrapped and packed the gifts to mail, it got later and later and I realized that my time to create a post for today was once again, up. And, I felt bad about that in two ways—one for my own silliness in making a monthly post commitment during holiday season, when obviously that isn’t particularly sensible/practical/possible, so why don’t I just give up the idea, and two, for even considering not showing up for myself and moving it up in my priority list/doing it anyway. Essentially, why would I expect this from myself?! AND, why wouldn’t I expect this from myself?! I’m ridiculous. I’m committed. I’m ridiculous. So, I’m still here. This post is being made. I’m not going to apologize for it—either way. For wanting to do it, for not wanting to do it, for not cutting myself slack and letting it go, for showing up and doing it anyway even if it doesn’t make sense…

Then, I opened to that nearly-finished Open Mind book and the quote I opened with was the quote for today and I thought oh. Today I did a wholehearted Hobbit Day instead of the other things that were/are waiting for me. That’s okay.