This is the first prompt of this 30 day practice for which I haven’t had a readily available response. I read each day’s email first thing in the morning and then think about it on and off all day. Usually something emerges, often in a surprising way, that turns out to be totally relevant. Tonight, I feel like I’m reaching–but, I don’t want to miss a day. I’ve been enjoying the personal practice of posting each day and I don’t want to skip it!
So, what I finally thought of was the sense of relief I feel when I get home from another week of class. I don’t enjoy the class I’m currently teaching, which is too bad because I usually love teaching. It is a hard class to teach, regardless, but adding in toting a baby along tips the scales further towards hard. Not to mention how it inconveniences other people (like my parents caring for our other kids and my husband having to sit in the hall with the baby waiting for me). I feel tight and strained before leaving and like I have trouble “transitioning” between states–Class Mode and Mama Mode are different modes! Then, when I get home, it feels like I can take a full breath again. So, that’s my tie-in!
I also thought about inspiration–the breath of inspiration–and how I feel constantly awash with inspiration lately, but with very minimal time in the day to let it flow. I’m having to choose carefully and let go often. While I still wish to work some important projects of my own this year (notably my dissertation), I also don’t want to miss out on any opportunities to sit in my rocking chair with my baby. That means being very careful. I spoke a “declaration of NO” in the woods a few days ago and it was very clear that I must fiercely conserve my energy this year. No one else will do it for me.