woodspriestess

Woodspriestess: Deer Woman

Deer Woman October 2013 007
running free
choosing her path carefully.
Stepping delicately
on crunchy leaves
picking her way through rocky hillsides
cautious, aware, watchful, knowing.

What’s that?
A sound.
Her ear is tuned
to the heartbeat of the earth
she walks in time with the wind
she is cleansed by raindrops and dew
and the fire of her own sweet breath
as she nestles with her fawn in secret places.

She knows the dark privacy of the forest
the cool side of the mountain
the warm sun of the field
she knows the taste of grapes on her tongue
the feel of wind on her back
and the joy of leaping, unbound.October 2013 088

She may appear timid and wary
yet she will not be boxed in
she will not be caged
she will not be fenced
she will dance wild and free
in moonlight
in sunlight
on stone
and on grass
in field and valley
running, running
and calling your name.

Come run with me
be free
leap the fences
leaving behind that which is narrow and confining
and sip the sweet raindrops by my side.

Watch
pay attention
assess
gauge
be alert and cautious
and run.
Run like the wind.
Wherever the beat of your heart
and Gaia’s horn might lead. October 2013 059

I don’t really relish having to wear hunter’s orange when I head down to the woods lately. The sound of nearby gunshots encroaches on my sacred ground and makes me feel a sense of risk. Tonight while standing on the rocks feeling uncertain rather than peaceful, I remembered that I wrote a poem called Deer Woman a couple of months ago and never published it. It felt obvious that the time has now come!

I originally composed this poem when startling some deer away from the rocks by accident several months ago. They’re often there in the morning, making me think of the other woodspriestesses who visit the same spot that I call “mine,” but which is home to many and belongs only to itself.

“In a way Winter is the real Spring – the time when the inner things happen, the resurgence of nature.”
– Edna O’Brien

 Other poems in the Woman series are linked to here.

Categories: nature, poems, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 1 Comment

Womanrunes: The Whole Moon

Womanrunes: The Whole Moon. Rune of Psyche. Moon Energy and Mysteries. Cycles. 20131102-154503.jpg

Cycles of life. Cycles of living. Cycles of love. Cycles of friendships. Changes. Growth. Some things blossom in the moonlight. Some things quietly curl up and retreat. Hope knows the mystery of the night. Our hearts know the mystery too. When we try to speak it out loud, it is slippery and undefinable. This is a stone both of paradox and change. Growth and decline. Effort, possibility, potential, and surprise. What mysteries are waiting for you in the light of the moon? What mysteries are waiting for you in the dark of the moon? What wants to be illuminated? What wants to hide? What wants to grow? What wants to decline?

Watch for the thin sliver of a fresh idea. Watch too for the fading crescent of that which has run its course. Reach out your arms to the mystery. Stretch them as a wide as you can. Stretch yourself as wide as you can. And, even then, know with joy that you can never embrace it all. This vastness. This void. This grandeur. This dramatic sweep of time and place and power.

Hold on. She ebbs and flows. The rest of life matches the tug of the moon. New things cresting, building, towering, standing tall. Then, crashing against the shore, pulling back, fading away, gathering strength and courage, and returning again and again.

It is time to listen to the whispers of your body as she is tugged to dance in the light of the moon.

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Update: this project evolved into a real book!

The first post in my Womanrunes series is available here and all others here. The runes and the names of them come from Shekhinah Mountainwater’s Womanrunes system for which there are no written interpretations available other than the names and one word meanings. I’m engaging in a practice of drawing one and then going down to the woods with it to see what it “tells” me–basically, creating what I wish I had, which is a more developed interpretation of the meaning of each womanrunestone.

The timing of this stone was perfect, because the change of the seasons is so dramatically in the air right now. I’ve been planning to do another daily post project through November. However, I’ve also been feeling constrained by blogging lately, so I’m not sure if I’ll move forward with that project or not.

Some more pictures from this fall day:

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A rose whose cycle is coming to its end.

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Empty hickory nut shell left behind on the rocks. I think something was resting and having a snack today.

 

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Categories: Womanrunes, woodspriestess | Leave a comment

The Warrior-Priestess

October 2013 013

The last glory of my beautiful late October roses!

“We do not become healers. We came as healers. We are. Some of us are still catching up to what we are.

We do not become storytellers. We came as carriers of the stories we and our ancestors actually lived. We are. Some of us are still catching up to what we are.

We do not become artists. We came as artists. We are. Some of us are still catching up to what we are.

We do not become writers, dancers, musicians, helpers, peacemakers. We came as such. We are. Some of us are still catching up to what we are.

We do not learn to love in this sense. We came as Love. We are Love. Some of us are still catching up to who we truly are.”

–Clarissa Pinkola Estes

On my other blog this week, I wrote:

When I attended the GGG this year, one of the realizations I came home with is that sometimes I feel like people are trying to get me to be less (more about this some other time). And, I remembered a session I had with a healer who did a somatic repatterning process with me—one of the beliefs she tested on me was, “I am not enough.” It got a marginal response, but then she tested, “I am TOO MUCH.” And, THAT is the one that tested as true. I wonder how much about myself that I try to change or that I struggle with actually comes from the fear of being, too much. Too intense. Too active. Too talkative. Too much thinking, too much writing, too many ideas, too many projects, too much waving of my hands and pacing when I talk. Too, too, too, too much.

via Blogging, Busyness, and Life: Part 1 | Talk Birth.

After writing the post above, I tuned in to ALisa Starkweather’s free call about embracing your fierce, feminine life. In a very poignant moment of synchronicity, she was talking about being “big” and “small” and that we are all both and can be both, but sometimes we are scared to be “big.” I also recently finished my final paper for my The Role of the Priestess course at OSC. One of the things I realized in the process of writing the three lengthy papers required for the course was that I’m still struggling with issues of insecurity and perfectionism. I also need more approval that I’d like to need and I am less self-confident than I’d like to be.  I very often place pressure on myself to be perfect and I’ve noticed that accepting the priestess call has added another layer of something-at-which-I-try-to-be-perfect-and-when-I’m-not-I-feel-like-a-terrible-person-who-doesn’t-deserve-the-name. After having a slightly-insecure conversation with a friend a couple of weeks ago, I returned to a quote from Judy Harrow in an article we read for the Role of the Priestess course:

Mentors must never come to need our students to idealize us. As frightening as the pedestal is at first, it’s also frighteningly easy to get used to being up there. Whoever carries the idealizing projections of others can begin to believe in them and to enjoy the deference they elicit. If we succumb to this temptation, we put our own spiritual health in danger along with that of our students. Needy mentors will probably develop patterns of people pleasing and codependency. They will find it difficult to confront students on inconsistent or inappropriate behavior. They will be weak, and come across as weak, depriving students of exactly the perception of safety and security that they so need… –Judy Harrow

Oh no! I thought. I’m weak. Letting someone else see the self-doubt I tend to experience makes me a bad leader. ::::sob:::: Obviously, since I’m now writing about it, I’ve had a change of heart—while I don’t want to be so needy that I appear weak, I also don’t want to pretend to be so in-the-know and confident all the time that I prevent or inhibit authentic connection and shared human experience. When ALisa got ready to start the call, she posted on FB that she was “shaking in her skin.” That didn’t make me think she was weak, that made me think she was real and I heard that.

A lovely video from ALisa’s call is available here:

(Loved the song!)

The other thing I realized as I wrote my papers and pondered my lack-of-adequate-perfection, was that I really struggle with permission to be irritable/angry sometimes. That is one of the things that to me is just not allowed. Must always be nice and calm. However, since I do actually get irritable and snappy and critical and stressy-wigged out, I’ve then failed. Not good enough, again, dang it. And, I’m back to “who does she think she is” and “I don’t deserve this title/role/calling.”

<should I even write this, she thinks. Weak?!?!>

So…I went back to my saved recordings, since my inner machinations seemed very familiar, and I listened to a recording from several days prior:

October 2013 075A priestess does not always have to be nice
good
perfect
serene
calm.

A priestess can be fierce
she can be sharp
she can be a warrior
she can guard the temple
she can stand up
speak out.

A priestess is powerful
she is a woman who owns her own power
steps into her own life
and her own destiny
wearing the mantle
until it settles so deeply around her
that it becomes rooted in her bones and belly
as who she is
in every moment of every day.

October 2013 111

One of my Halloween costumes this year. I was carrying my son’s toy sword for him at a party and a friend said, “warrior priestess!” And, I thought, *exactly*! 😉

A priestess will not be run over
she will not be downtrodden
she will not be oppressed
she will say NO
she will speak firmly
she will draw boundaries
she will hold space
with both tenderness and ferocity.

She will defend
she will build up
she will protect
she will guard
she will lead
she will serve
she will teach
she will share
she will not be silenced.

She will not stuff down or deny her own rough edges
in favor of a myth or a mystique
she will DO IT
she will keep trying
she will stand tall
she will lift her head
and she will say yes when she hears the call…

Then, I did one of the online free readings from Gaian Soul Tarot and I got this:

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Unbelievably exact and what I needed to hear. The instructions say to trust your own intuitive reading of the cards before reading the text and I got it. I really did. 🙂

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I offer what I offer
I give what I give
I share what I share
I am who I am…

Categories: poems, prayers, priestess, spirituality, theapoetics, women's circle, woodspriestess | 7 Comments

Co-Circling & The Priestess Path

October 2013 020While I fulfill the role of facilitating priestess of our women’s circle’s quarterly retreats, other members each lead parts of our rituals and participate in the planning of the rituals before the event. Part of being an effective Priestess is the sharing of responsibility and the recognizing and cultivating of the skills, talents, and gifts of other circle members. In this sense we become co-circlers, rather than a hierarchical arrangement with one woman “in charge.”

In the book, West Country Wicca, the shared responsibility for the Circle is identified as well: “The Circle belongs to all who are in it. I have heard people in recent times say, ‘I wouldn’t have such and such in MY circle.’ But it is not THEIR circle. It is the circle of the coven. We had no permanent leaders when I was taught” (p. 17). Ryall also explains that, “The Priestess actively involved in the ceremony is merely the key that unlocks the door, and the Goddess Power brought down into the Circle is for the benefit of all…(p. 27, emphasis mine). Finally, Ryall reminds us to have humility and not to confuse the priestess role with superiority: “There is a tendency among some people to develop a mystique as opposed to the Mysteries. It takes the form of, ‘I know something you don’t know, and you are not ready yet to know it, or I shall have lost my superiority.’ I am of the opinion that anyone who knows the right question to ask is ready for the answer…The Craft is simply a worship, through nature, of the One Supreme Initiator and a caring for everything on this planet. We are not engaging in amateur dramatics, with wardrobes and props; we are joyfully celebrating life in all its many forms” (p. 41).

At the Gaea Goddess Gathering in Kansas this year, during several of the sessions, I witnessed how easily a ritual can lose power when the co-circlers do not take the ritual seriously. It is easy (and simplistic) to point to the Priestess as the one who “failed” to hold the energy of the circle, but the responsibility for the circle belongs to all its members. Ruth Barrett in Women’s Rites, Women’s Mysteries explains the responsibilities of circle participants as such:

Ritual Priestessing is not for the faint of heart. If you fear chaos, the unexpected, or the unforeseen, choose another vocation. A ritual facilitator regularly finds herself in challenging situations that are not at all what she originally planned.

In order to facilitate others, you first need to know how to be a good participant. I don’t believe that it is possible for a woman to priestess/facilitate a ritual effectively until she first knows how to truly participate in one. What are our responsibilities as participants in a ritual? What can we learn from being a participant that can help us become better ritual facilitators? When asked about their responsibilities as ritual participants, some of my students listed these points:

• Stay focused, centered, and present. Lend energy when energy is required.
• Follow instructions given by the facilitators.
• Respect any guidelines or safety requirements.
• Avoid side talk.
• Take care of yourself. Check in with yourself periodically during the ritual.
• Take responsibility for your own experience.

I would also add “avoid heckling.” What does this mean? In my observations at the GGG, I noticed a trend for circle participants to call out different comments in a joking way, either across the circle or to the woman facilitating the ceremony. While it seemed to be done in a light-hearted way and perhaps was the local custom of this group of women, the effect on the group as a whole was striking. The “heckling”—at least to me—led to palpable energy “leaks” in the ritual container and resulted in a commensurate drop in the power and focus of the circle.

As I continue working on my degree at OSC and with my own local circle of women, I decided to start a new Facebook group for those interested in the priestess Goddessgarb 175path as a serious commitment/vocation. I have been feeling a need for a space to talk over and explore the very real work of priestessing, not the seemingly image-based, “step into your inner priestess,” personal-empowerment oriented use of the word “priestess” I’m starting to encounter often online. I’m not talking about the Priestess as an archetype or inner image or as a self-esteem buzzword. I’m talking about the Priestess as a job, a calling, a vision for the service you’d like to offer to others.

While I’d like to flesh it out, the current description of said Facebook group is as follows:

This is a group for women involved in serious study/commitment to the priestess path as vocation, service, and calling. We recognize the priestess identity as an ongoing commitment of devotion, self-study, and an evolving initiatory process.

This group is especially intended for those interested in the practical *work* of priestessing.

via Priestess Path

If this speaks to you, please join us!


Side note: You may also have noticed that I’ve changed the name of my blog (and soon my Facebook page also) to WoodsPriestess, rather than Theapoetics. I coined the word “Theapoetics” to describe what it is that I experience in my sacred woodspace. As my yearlong experiment has continued and one of my theapoetical experiences introduced me to the word “woodspriestess,” my Woodspriestess-themed posts evolved into the central component of the blog. Recently, I realized that theapoetics feels like something that I do or experience, while Woodspriestess feels like who I am. So, after petitioning Facebook, by next week, my page should be known as Woodspriestess instead. This is also the name of my blog at SageWoman.

Categories: priestess, ritual, women, women's circle, woodspriestess | 3 Comments

Woodspriestess: Brigid

Brigid 20130924-090026.jpg
She of the Sacred Oak
She of the Sacred Flame
She who ignites our creativity
and who forges our passions.

Sacred smith
shaping lives
in the cauldron of destiny
healing
tending
guarding
loving

She who spills forth
in the language of poetry
and falling leaves
She who flickers from the candle’s flame
and the blacksmith’s coal
She whose hands open to receive new life and new ideas
She who can be called upon
in any hour
of any day

Brigid
Sacred Guardian
keeper of flame
hope and hearts.

You are summoned to us
to enliven our work
to guide our steps
and to inspire our message.

May it be so.

Brigid is a Triple Goddess of Fire: the fire of poetic inspiration and creative voice, the fire of health and fertility, and the fire of metalwork and crafts.

Brigid is an ancient Irish goddess later syncretized into the Christian saint Brigit. Her abbey was referred to as the Church of the Sacred Oak, the word for which later evolved into modern day Kildare. Her sacred wells are usually located near sacred oak trees, sometimes referred to as “clootie” trees, in which pilgrims hang prayers, blessings, wishes, and requests for healing. When I decided to be a merchant at this year’s Gaea Goddess Gathering at Camp Gaea in Kansas, I knew I wanted to have something affordable to offer at my booth that would connect to Brigid, the honored Goddess this year. I decided to make a simple “Sacred Oak” pendant with the idea that it would help the wearer to carry her healing presence throughout their day and “hang” their wishes upon her sacred oak whenever they want! The red cord represents her sacred flame.

I’ve started a new etsy shop with a broader focus than the birth/motherhood oriented focus of my original Talk Birth shop. I’ll be maintaining both shops as sister shops though and migrating some of the items from it into my new one.

I have quite a bit to say about this year’s GGG, but I’m saving that for another post! (which will hopefully take less than a year to write…)

Brigid's Temple at the GGG

Brigid’s Temple at the GGG

 

Categories: blessings, GGG, Goddess, poems, prayers, readings, spirituality, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 2 Comments

Woodspriestess: Blood Ties

Sept 2013 004The blood of many species
swirls around me
The blood of many mothers
runs through me
The blood of many generations
comes from me

The blood of earth
feeds me
The blood of the Goddess
holds me

We dance together
in an ancient ecstasy
blood deep
bone rich
holy, potent, and pure.

The blood of creation
The blood of inspiration
The blood of sacrifice
and renewal…

Categories: Goddess, moontime, nature, poems, spirituality, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 1 Comment

Goddess Body, World Body

This post is reprinted from my column at the SageWoman blogs.

“Here is your sacrament
Take. Eat. this is my body
this is real milk, thin, sweet, bluish,
which I give for the life of the world…
Here is your bread of life.
Here is the blood by which you live in me.”
–Robin Morgan (in Life Prayers, p. 148)

All religion is about the mystery of creation. If the mystery of birth is the origin of religion, it is women that we must look for the phenomenon that first made her aware of the unseen power…Women’s awe at her capacity to create life is the basis of mystery. Earliest religious images show pregnancy, rather than birth and nurturing, as the numinous or magical state” (Monica Sjoo and Barbara Mor, The Great Cosmic Mother, p. 71)

I am working on a thesis project about birth as a spiritual experience. As I collect my resources, the quotes above keep running through my head. Birth as the original sacrament. Breastfeeding as the original communion. Blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone, women transmute blood into breath, into being, into life for others.

Abrahamic theology in its root mythology, sets up the male body as “normal” as well neatly includes the notion that there is a divine hierarchy in which men are above women in value, role, and power. It also twists reality, by asserting that women come from men’s bodies, rather than the other way around. This inversion didn’t begin with Christianity, it has roots in more ancient mythology as well. Connected to the conversion of women’s natural creative, divine-like powers of the womb into the originators of sin and corruption, we readily see the deliberate inversion of the womb of the Goddess into the head of the father in the gulping down of Metis by Zeus and the subsequent birth of Athena from his head. Patriarchal creation myths rely heavily on biologically non-normative masculine creation imagery. I really appreciated the brief note from Sjoo in The Great Cosmic Mother that, “In later Hindu mysticism the egg is identified as male generative energy. Whenever you come upon something like this, stop and ponder. If it is absurdly inorganic—male gods ‘brooding on the waters’ or ‘laying eggs’—then you know you are in the presence of an original Goddess cosmology stolen and displaced by later patriarchal scribes” (p. 56).

Modern-day diet culture may actually be as potent an agent of female body control and manipulation as ancient church doctrine. And, where there are wounded, denied, oppressed, and suppressed female bodies, there is an exploited world body as well. Women who retain their “wild natures” see value in “wild nature,” rather than seeing nature as something to be dominated, exploited and controlled. Diet culture encourages this attitude of domination of bodies and restraining of physical, “earthy” impulses and needs—no wonder we see this same basic attitude of domination and control carried out in the macrocosm as well. Womb ecology reflects world ecology, world ecology reflects womb ecology…

According to Melissa Raphael in her book Thealogy and Embodiment, “Spiritual feminism consecrates flesh as something more than passive ‘fertility.’ The word ‘fertility’ cannot evoke the patriarchally uncontrollable generativity and proliferation of flesh. Spiritual feminism celebrates the bounty of flesh in the same moment that it celebrates the earth and the foods the earth produces in generous abundance” (p. 95).

Raphael also observes that, “where a woman’s embodiment is a manifestation of the Goddess that has a very different meaning than if that divinity were imaged as male…The Goddess, the earth, the female body are unified and charged with sacral powers for the transmutation of matter, for shape-shifting, and for the production of cosmogonic effluvia: blood, milk and water. This spiritual physiology of women is original but it is also subversive of and oppositional to its Western inheritance” (p. 76-77).

Monica Sjoo and Barbara Mor explain that, “Childbirth is a powerful drama and ritual” (p. 47). Ancient herstory is rooted in the generative powers of the female body. “…the facts of women’s experience of life are primordial. It is woman who goes through the sacred transformations in our own body and psyche—the mystery-changes of menstruation, pregnancy, birth, and the production of milk…Women’s mysteries are blood-transformation mysteries: the experience of female bodily transformations of matter. Matter: the mud: the Mother. She transforms herself.” (Sjoo & Mor, p. 50-51)

In this recent poem, composed spontaneously while standing in the woods, I am interested to see how I made the world-body connection somewhat unconsciously in this “theapoetical” experience…

Sept 2013 021

Observation of the day yesterday: bumblebees on gigantically tall thistles behind the deck.

I stand
on the body of the Goddess
I sit on her bones
I breathe
her breath
Spirit of Life
moving through me
Her voice
sings in my blood
stars shine in my veins
my heartbeat
a drum
tuned to the core
of the planet
my womb
pulled by the tide
my rhythms
guided

Sept 2013 004

Delicate plant growing determinedly from strong rock.

by a distant moon
my cells springing
from hers
my heartsong
strummed
by ancient fingers
my passion
lit by wisdom
from within and without
my hope
kindled
each day
with my breath, blood, and pulse
I pray
I stand
on the body of the Goddess
I sit on her bones
I breathe
the breath of her lungs
I am one of her own…

Sept 2013 033

Bee and butterfly hanging out together.

One of the most profound elements of Goddess spirituality is its affirmation of and respect for women’s bodies and reproductive processes. In this affirmation, we can find a degree of overlap between feminist spirituality and process philosophy. As Carol Christ explains, “Process philosophy shares with feminist theology and thealogy a common interest in restoring the body and the world body, disparaged and denied in classical theism. What process philosophy has frequently failed to recognize is that restoring the body and the world body has enormous consequences for women. A feminist process paradigm will make feminist insight an integral part of process thinking. A feminist process paradigm will also ensure that process philosophers understand the body, the world body, and the divine body in physical terms and not simply as metaphysical concepts” (She Who Changes, p. 199). Christ also asks a profoundly meaningful question, “Is the source of the theological mistakes of classical theism a rejection of embodied life that begins with rejection of the female body? In other words, are the six theological mistakes embedded in a way of thinking that is inherently anti-female?” (200). She suggests that the answer is yes, that these theological mistakes are intimately tied up, “in denial of the changing body and the changing world, which is rooted in a way of thinking that is inherently anti-female” (She Who Changes, p. 200).

While, like thealogy, process thinking is grounded in experience, the emphasis on philosophical thinking can contribute to a lack of full engagement with the real world. In thealogy many quickly realize that it is a spirituality better lived than analyzed: “Don’t just read about the Goddess, LOVE HER, listen to Her, reflect Her as the Earth and Moon reflect the Sun.  Don’t just study Nature, put your hands in the dirt, your feet on the forest trail, turn your face to the wind and breathe Nature in and out of your lungs.  Feel the connection.  No books required.” (Esra Free, Wicca 404: Advanced Goddess Thealogy, 2007)

Sept 2013 018

Accidentally got this “take off” picture and I love it because of the pollen-laden legs!

Categories: Goddess, nature, poems, spirituality, thealogy, theapoetics, thesis, woodspriestess | 3 Comments

Woodspriestess: Earth’s Symphony

Divine hum 20130831-190026.jpg
inner rhythm
insect chorus
bee priestesses.

Butterfly dance
leaf artist
heart beat.

Inhale
exhale
in time
with the symphony
of the Earth.

I wrote this in June after an afternoon woodsvisit during which I felt very conscious of the constant “hum” of the woods. So much living being done there. Yesterday, I noticed that some of the tiny flowers of summer that I photographed recently are humming with bees now and so the time felt right to finally share this poem. It makes me sad that in recent years seeing a bee has become like a special message or a special treat, rather than commonplace. It was good to see them buzzing and zooming and landing on these little faintly purple flowers.

At the same time that I wrote the poem, I also wrote the following:

I’m struggling with trust right now, disappointment, overwhelm, overcommitment. Twin pulls of longing. The desire to rest, draw inward, pull away, and be uninvolved and the desire to be committed, connected, involved, helpful, and impactful. These twin pulls are part of my monthly cycle, the ebb and flow of creativity and energy, and I’m learning to work within those cycles. To not make permanent changes, but also not to ignore legitimate calls for change, action, growth, and pruning away deadwood…

I’m definitely hanging on to work that might be finished. I’m hanging on with the desire to please, the stay connected, to give back, to honor experience, to be truthful, honest, authentic, rhythmic, wise, healing, compassionate, connected, whole, peaceful. Not exhausted…

Some things have changed in my life since I wrote this and I’m feeling more balanced and satisfied again. My grandma’s death has had a long-reaching effect on the whole family this year.

On the same woodsvisit in June, I also spoke this aloud…

You know what you need to do.
You know what you want. 20130831-190014.jpg
You know what you can offer.

When you’re angry
you need to say so
don’t let it build up
don’t let it simmer and fester
don’t let it lead to resentment and bitterness
let the pressure valve open.

Take care of yourself
be your own best friend
acknowledge dichotomies
dualism
paradoxes…

sit with them both
explore their edges
feel their contours
let rough places
surprise you
smooth out what you can
and always look 20130831-190019.jpg
for the glitter of buried treasure
hidden gems
unexpected lessons
and brief flashes of wisdom.

Focus.
focus and be
know and love
try and try again
apologize when necessary
say no when you need to
and say yes when you need to
balancing twin demands
with as much skill as you can muster
and with as much self-compassion
as you can excavate from your depths…

In other news, this is the two hundredth post on this blog (I’m over 800 on my other one–yikes!). I read once that consistent blogging produces a “significant body of work,” and it is totally true. Writing here has shaped my ideas, my thealogy, my plans for the future, and also my identity, as such, as a writer and artist (it was really hard not to put those two in quotes! Notice I didn’t also say “poet”…)

Thanks for reading, following, sharing, commenting, and encouraging! 🙂

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Categories: nature, poems, theapoetics, woodspriestess, writing | Leave a comment

Woodspriestess: Summer’s Surrender

Tiny flowers of summer August 2013 016
Waving colorful flags
of the season’s surrender
against a backdrop of dry leaves

Lifting tender, hopeful
tenacious faces
parched but promising
a last hurrah
a final fling
a tiny majesty

Spots of glorious color
on dry ground

Proof of life’s own love affair with itself.

August 2013 023Speaking of love affairs, I had one with the tiny flowers of spring and I’m having another with the tiny flowers of summer. It is like a religious experience to me to discover the ever-changing tableau of what Nature has planted for us all season long. I love that these tiny flowers bloom whether I notice them or not. I love that they grow without me watering them or tending them. I love how they emerge in unlikely, unsuspecting places, such as the floor of the greenhouse or between cracks in stone or from piles of gravel. I love that they’re here, doing their own tiny thing, even as the leaves begin to fall from the trees and the winds shift towards autumn. They’re going to keep being beautiful, dang it, as long as they can. I’ve had a mini obsession with spotting them and taking pictures of them over the last two days. I don’t know the proper names for many of them and I also know that several of them turn into nuisance things like burs, but I see them. I’ve noticed and paid attention and this visual experience is my sweet reward. In this photo gallery, the only flowers pictured not planted by Nature are the roses, which are currently experiencing a delightful last hurrah as well, even after a major assault by Japanese beetles this year. Also pictured is a cute mushroom 🙂

Perhaps not coincidentally, I was also inspired to make some fresh new goddesses this week with a floral motif! (available in my updated etsy shop) 🙂

August 2013 036

   And, in past odes to tiny flowers I have known:

Woodspriestess: Tiny Flowers

Tiny flowers know
that hope blooms eternal August 2013 044
pushing the way
through cracked stone
reclaiming
repopulating
rebirthing the Earth

What is a seed
but a miracle
right in front of me

What am I
but a miracle
to be seeing this right now…

Woodspriestess: The Language of Spring

A blush of green begins

Delicate lace of wild plums
Graces gray forestscapes August 2013 042

Heartbeat in the forest sings
The passion of life untapped.
The soul of the world
is speaking the language of spring.

Woodspriestess: Stoneflower | Theapoetics

Like flower growing from rock
the world is full of tiny, perfect mysteries.
Secrets of heart and soul and landscape
guarded tenderly
taking root in hard crevices
stretching forth
in impossible silence.

And, while traveling: Sunday Sabbath: Tiny Desert Flowers

Tender green shoot in unlikely place
Tenacious tapestry of life
This weaving unfolding before my eyes
This is my religion.

August 2013 041

Categories: art, nature, poems, spirituality, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 1 Comment

Woodspriestess: Medicine Woman

Medicine Woman 20130820-150831.jpg

She who heals

Reaching out
strong hands
supple wrists
cleansing touch
place your hand in hers
and you will feel it…

Energy
passing from one to another
conduit of grace
and repair.

Restoration

Medicine Woman reminds you
to sleep when you’re tired
to eat when you’re hungry
to drink when you’re thirsty20130820-150854.jpg
and to dance
just because.

Medicine Woman
let her bind up your wounds
apply balm to your soul
and hold you
against her shoulder
when you need to cry.

Medicine Woman
Earth healer
she’s ready to embrace you.

(7/5/2013)

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Memorial prayer flag

I wrote this poem last month as another character/archetype poem that came to mind after my original outraged ancestral mother poem and prayer. (Both of which were recently published in the current edition of The Tor Stone). Prophet Woman and Shakti Woman also showed up, as did Medicine Woman. I’ve still got Yoga Woman out there too and I thought there weren’t any more, until I had a Buzzard Woman encounter earlier in the month.

Last night I went to a local ceremony for the Day of Hope and Healing, which is a national memorial day for families who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. The photos in this post are from the event. And, today then felt like the perfect time to share my Medicine Woman poem. I’m also having a giveaway on my other blog for this pendant that I made over the weekend:

20130820-150921.jpgI also made some new sculptures and necklaces and updated my etsy shop!

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Categories: art, friends, poems, spirituality, theapoetics, womanspirit, women, woodspriestess | 3 Comments

Carpriestess: Buzzard Woman

Buzzard womanAugust 2013 037
scouring the earth
scavenging
uncovering
digging up
clawing away.

She picks the meat
from your bones
she drops the scales
from your eyes
she cleans out
your shell.

Digesting
transforming
all that has passed away
into something new
clearing away the dead
making way for rebirth.

Listen to her
she says
waste nothing.

Lots of vultures on the road yesterday morning and again when I returned heading the other direction. I’ve seen at least four dead armadillos on the road in the last two days. I got a comment in response to my Armadillo post surprised that we have armadillos in Missouri. Indeed, we didn’t always have them. They have migrated this direction in response to climate change, since they can now survive the more mild winters we now have here. In fact, just this past winter I saw one in the woods snuffling around through the snow. They often dig holes in our field or rustle through the woods.

This week, I also saw hummingbirds in the woods. We feed them, so I often see them in front of the house at the feeders, but I don’t usually notice them “in the wild.” It has been raining like crazy here (I mean crazy. There is significant flooding in many areas close to me, including on the gravel road I take in to town [one direction, the other direction is passable, so I’m not trapped]). This is in dramatic contrast to the horrible drought we experienced last summer. In the woods, I noticed lots of leaves starting to fall. Right now, they’re falling because of heat or disease or various reasons rather than it really being fall, but still…it was a startling reminder that autumn is coming. Really? Wasn’t it just spring and then summer?! Didn’t I just start visiting the woods on the ice and snow?!

August 2013 032

Nature’s palette…

  August 2013 024

Categories: death, nature, poems, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 1 Comment

Woodspriestess: Armadillo Surprise

armadillo

(not the actual armadillopriestess that I met in the woods)

Eight months into my woodspriestess experiment and I continue to be surprised by this same small patch of woods. Last night, if you chanced to overhear me in my sacred space, you would have heard me scream:

“Oh my GAWD!!!!! I just STEPPED ON an ARMADILLO!!!!!!”

Yes, that is correct, I stepped squarely on a genuine, real live armadillo on my way through the woods last night. I’d gotten “too busy” to visit the woods during the day and by the time I made my way down there, it was totally dark. I opted to go out without a flashlight, feeling a bit smug, if I do say so myself, that I know these woods so well and am just so connected that I don’t even need a flashlight to find my way and then…STEP…bizarre-growling-squeal/grunt-and-scuttle and me screaming the above. My first thought as I grasped what had happened was actually to try to take a picture for a blog post, but by then it was too late and only the scaly tail was dimly visible under a nearby shrub! By the time I stood on the rocks, I was laughing semi-hysterically and my heart was pounding with the adrenalin and surprise. I reflected again on how very many creatures share these woods with me and I wondered how many other woodspriestesses of various species cross these very stones each day! I think of them as “mine,” but clearly an armadillo also finds them a useful nighttime resting place.

I spoke aloud…

Dark Mother
Rising up to surprise us
stumbling in the night
stepping on armadillos
startled by a snake in the path
surrounded by bug song
and mystery

a place to incubate dreams
arising with purpose
and potency
but always reminding us
to watch your step.

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This afternoon, I was compelled to take a little armadillopriestess down to the rocks with me for a joke. But, I didn’t wait until dark!

Dark Mother
rising up in surprising places
leading us beside choppy waters
holding back our hair if we vomit.

Dark Mother
do not go easy
into the night
you claw and scratch
jumping up
clad in armor
that we may trip over.

Keep us on the edge
keep us on our toes
keep us in the dark
keep us in the mystery…

I never want to stop being surprised by this place, even if it makes my heart pound.
Thank you.

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Categories: endarkenment, nature, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 2 Comments

Woodspriestess: Shakti Woman Speaks

willendorf2

A special gift from Paola of Goddess Spiral Health Coaching

Shakti woman speaks
She says Dance
Write
Create
Share
Speak.

Don’t let me down
I wait within
coiled at the base of your spine
draped around your hips
like a bellydancer’s sash
snaking my way up
through your belly
and your throat
until I burst forth
in radiant power
that shall not be denied.

Do not silence me
do not coil my energy back inside
stuffing it down
where it might wither in darkness
biding its time
becoming something that waits
to strike.

Let me sing
let me flood through your body
in ripples of ecstasy
stretch your hands wide
wear jewels on your fingers
and your heart on your sleeve

Spin
spin with me now
until we dance shadows into art
hope into being
and pain into power.

7/1/2013

A couple of weeks ago, I published a Shakti Woman poem and the above is the companion piece that I actually wrote first. For the picture to go with it, I just had to share my recent gift from Paola of Goddess Spiral Health Coaching. Isn’t she lovely? Earlier this year, Paola offered to send a gift to the first several responders on her Facebook page and I was one of them 🙂

I love the Willendorf Goddess and consider it almost a personal “totem” of sorts for me. I love that she is so full-figured and not “perfect” or beautiful. I like that she is not pregnant (there is some disagreement about this, I guess) and what I like best is that she is “complete unto herself.” She is a complete form–not just a headless pregnant belly, etc. I just LOVE her. As I’ve written previously, I have a strong emotional connection to Paleolithic and Neolithic figures. I do not find that I feel as personally connected to Egyptian and Greek and Roman Goddess imagery, but the ancient figures really speak to something powerful within me. I have a sculpture of the Goddess of Willendorf at a central point on my altar. Sometimes I hold her and wonder and muse about who carved the original. I almost feel a thread that reaches out and continues to connect us to that nearly lost past—all the culture and society and how very much we don’t know about early human history. There is such a solid power to these early figures and to me they speak of the numinous, non-personified, Great Goddess.

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Categories: Goddess, poems, prayers, spirituality, theapoetics, womanspirit, woodspriestess | 2 Comments

Woodspriestess: Shakti Woman

Shakti woman sil11
coiled within
fiery voice
running snakelike up my spine
bursting free
in the language and poetry
of leaves and stones

Poems gather within me
coiled at the base of my spine
stirred in the cauldron of my belly
cradled by the bones of my hips
waiting until such time
as they spiral upwards
through my chest and throat
and past my waiting lips
speaking words
in patterns I’ve never heard before
and yet that waited inside me to be born.

Shakti woman July 2013 007
unfurling
speaking through my mouth
caressing the planet with her breath
divine union
oracle
open heart
open throat
sweet
rich
biting
burning
energy of creation

Shakti woman
I honor you
I carry you
looped loosely
like a belt around my hips
shining from my eyes
tasting your words on my tongue
and in my heart.

For several days after I wrote my Outraged Ancestral Mother poem and prayer other specific “character” poems kept coming to my mind. Prophet Woman was the first, but she was followed by several others, like Shakti Woman. For some reason, I felt like I needed some distance before they felt “safe” enough to publish.

July 2013 012

Categories: Goddess, invocations, liturgy, poems, prayers, readings, spirituality, theapoetics, womanspirit, woodspriestess | 4 Comments

Woodspriestess: Ovulation

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A woman in one of my Facebook groups shared this picture from her garden. This Goddess tomato even has a perfect belly button! 🙂

Ovulation
egg coming
ripe
fertile
creative
waiting
wanting.

Round with possibilities
plans, ideas, and determination
permeable to enlivened truth.

Shared wisdom
from the ages
womb tug
from the moon

Heart beating
in Goddess time

An egg rests
in dark safety.
A woman waits
filled
with curled up potential
and the ability to dance
a new way of being.

Pain, hope, promise, joy
listen to your body
all will be well.

6/14/13

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Categories: blessings, poems, prayers, womanspirit, woodspriestess | Leave a comment

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