Monthly Archives: November 2013

Sacred Relationship to the Land

Posted on November 30, 2013 by Molly

I recently read an article about creating a sacred relationship with the land. As soon as I read it, I knew exactly who I think of as the guardian spirit of my own place in the woods. It is this tree. I’m thankful for the opportunity to get to know it.

“This generation is serving as the midwife for the rebirth of the Shechinah…This Goddess who shines on us as we study sacred texts is found in redwood groves and apple orchards. She is coming to us in the wind and the water, in the ocean and the mountains.” –Rabbi Leah Novick (quoted in Open Mind, 9/8)

This weekend as I sat on a rock looking through the “doorway” created by two more tree trunks at the Guardian Tree beyond and having the sensation that it was both a doorway to and a doorway from, I had a sudden crystal clear moment of revelation about my M.Div thesis project. This is IT. This woodspriestess practice and experiment I embarked on throughout the course of 2013—I’ve been working on my thesis this entire year, I just didn’t know it. I spent some time this afternoon writing a new thesis prospectus and it came flowing out. A Year of Lessons from the Forest. I’ve got this.

[My prospective content for my birth-as-a-spiritual-experience thesis plan is over 200 pages long, which also tells me that my thesis needs to re-become my dissertation plan (it actually WAS my original dissertation plan until I decided to take a detour and complete the M.Div).]

I also remembered spending a lot of time as a child with a big sycamore tree in the valley by my house. It was the guardian spirit of that place. There was a little sort of brambly grove by it with a rock pile (from past settler field-clearing) that I used to play in/on/by. I pretended that the tree had a keyhole in it and my magic key (that I used to wear around my neck), would open the trunk and that there was another world behind the tree. I called it Idlewild. (googled this and apparently it is a series of books that began being published in 2003. I was a kid in the 1980’s though, so I didn’t read them)

Here are some excerpts from that article I mentioned…

How To Create a Sacred Relationship with the Land

Here are some tips for establishing a bond with the land near where you live:

• Start with your own backyard, and apply the suggestions below. Hua reminds us that “every place is sacred.”

• By foot, explore new mountains, hills, forests, lakes, ocean sides, or other earth areas near where you live. Feel which places call to you. When you find a place you like, keep returning. Make a commitment to visit it at least once a month.

• Ask permission to enter any given place from what you feel is the “guardian” spirit of the place –– you’ll instinctively sense where it resides. What’s important is your respectful intention.

• State your intention for being there –– to love the place, say prayers, hear what it has to say, be of service, heal the land, honor the local ancestors, make amends for transgressions to the First Peoples, etc…

• Sit and feel your love for the place. That’s it. Just feel the appreciation you have for the beauty of the landscape, the trees, the plants and animals. Let Earth Mother and the visible and invisible elements feel your affection.

• Listen for messages. Get quiet and see if you can receive information –– and healing –– for yourself, others, Mama Earth, etc…

Seven Sisters Mystery School Marguerite Rigoglioso

Yep. 🙂

Categories: Goddess, nature, quotes, spirituality, thesis, woodspriestess | 4 Comments

Bonewind’s Return

Posted on November 22, 2013 by Molly

Bone wind has returned
mother of winter’s chill
sweeping through bare branches
and rattling dusty leaves.

The remnants of summer
have completely faded
and the doorway to the new year
has cracked open.

With the skeletal swirl of frost and freeze
I see the hint
of new things
waiting to burst from behind the door

Hibernating now perhaps
hunkered down to wait it out
resting, biding time, percolating
nestled in darkness
but, oh so ready, to grow.

It is only on the surface
that the world prepares to take a long nap
underneath the crust
change boils
life bubbles
new ideas gestate
and time crowns anew
with the promise and potential of birth
held in cupped hands.

The flame of fresh ideas flickers
and catches
until the blaze of possibility
envelopes the cold.

Winter is falling across the woods and I find myself filled with an amazing sense of promise and potential about the new year. 2103 has held a lot of transition for my family, it has held the grief of my grandmother’s death, as well as changes aplenty–some changes that are beautifully enriching, creatively inspiring, and relationship enhancing and some changes that have been difficult, sad, trying, and frustrating. Ever since the wind turned towards fall, I’ve felt a sensation of “fall cleaning.” Sweep it out, start fresh, begin again, take a break, pause, regroup, reform, re-try, launch, begin, start new things…I’ve felt it practically in terms of rearranging my house and going on various decluttering missions, but I also feel it inside—my own purpose, focus, priorities, and projects.

—

In the past I wrote about what I termed the bone wind here: Woodspriestess: Bonewind | WoodsPriestess

Categories: endarkenment, holidays, nature, poems, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 1 Comment

Woodspriestess: Deer Woman

Posted on November 5, 2013 by Molly

Deer Woman
running free
choosing her path carefully.
Stepping delicately
on crunchy leaves
picking her way through rocky hillsides
cautious, aware, watchful, knowing.

What’s that?
A sound.
Her ear is tuned
to the heartbeat of the earth
she walks in time with the wind
she is cleansed by raindrops and dew
and the fire of her own sweet breath
as she nestles with her fawn in secret places.

She knows the dark privacy of the forest
the cool side of the mountain
the warm sun of the field
she knows the taste of grapes on her tongue
the feel of wind on her back
and the joy of leaping, unbound.

She may appear timid and wary
yet she will not be boxed in
she will not be caged
she will not be fenced
she will dance wild and free
in moonlight
in sunlight
on stone
and on grass
in field and valley
running, running
and calling your name.

Come run with me
be free
leap the fences
leaving behind that which is narrow and confining
and sip the sweet raindrops by my side.

Watch
pay attention
assess
gauge
be alert and cautious
and run.
Run like the wind.
Wherever the beat of your heart
and Gaia’s horn might lead.

I don’t really relish having to wear hunter’s orange when I head down to the woods lately. The sound of nearby gunshots encroaches on my sacred ground and makes me feel a sense of risk. Tonight while standing on the rocks feeling uncertain rather than peaceful, I remembered that I wrote a poem called Deer Woman a couple of months ago and never published it. It felt obvious that the time has now come!

I originally composed this poem when startling some deer away from the rocks by accident several months ago. They’re often there in the morning, making me think of the other woodspriestesses who visit the same spot that I call “mine,” but which is home to many and belongs only to itself.

“In a way Winter is the real Spring – the time when the inner things happen, the resurgence of nature.”
– Edna O’Brien

Other poems in the Woman series are linked to here.

Categories: nature, poems, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 1 Comment

Womanrunes: The Whole Moon

Posted on November 2, 2013 by Molly

Womanrunes: The Whole Moon. Rune of Psyche. Moon Energy and Mysteries. Cycles.

Cycles of life. Cycles of living. Cycles of love. Cycles of friendships. Changes. Growth. Some things blossom in the moonlight. Some things quietly curl up and retreat. Hope knows the mystery of the night. Our hearts know the mystery too. When we try to speak it out loud, it is slippery and undefinable. This is a stone both of paradox and change. Growth and decline. Effort, possibility, potential, and surprise. What mysteries are waiting for you in the light of the moon? What mysteries are waiting for you in the dark of the moon? What wants to be illuminated? What wants to hide? What wants to grow? What wants to decline?

Watch for the thin sliver of a fresh idea. Watch too for the fading crescent of that which has run its course. Reach out your arms to the mystery. Stretch them as a wide as you can. Stretch yourself as wide as you can. And, even then, know with joy that you can never embrace it all. This vastness. This void. This grandeur. This dramatic sweep of time and place and power.

Hold on. She ebbs and flows. The rest of life matches the tug of the moon. New things cresting, building, towering, standing tall. Then, crashing against the shore, pulling back, fading away, gathering strength and courage, and returning again and again.

It is time to listen to the whispers of your body as she is tugged to dance in the light of the moon.

—

Update: this project evolved into a real book!

The first post in my Womanrunes series is available here and all others here. The runes and the names of them come from Shekhinah Mountainwater’s Womanrunes system for which there are no written interpretations available other than the names and one word meanings. I’m engaging in a practice of drawing one and then going down to the woods with it to see what it “tells” me–basically, creating what I wish I had, which is a more developed interpretation of the meaning of each womanrunestone.

—

The timing of this stone was perfect, because the change of the seasons is so dramatically in the air right now. I’ve been planning to do another daily post project through November. However, I’ve also been feeling constrained by blogging lately, so I’m not sure if I’ll move forward with that project or not.

Some more pictures from this fall day:

A rose whose cycle is coming to its end.

Empty hickory nut shell left behind on the rocks. I think something was resting and having a snack today.

Categories: Womanrunes, woodspriestess | Leave a comment

The Warrior-Priestess

Posted on November 1, 2013 by Molly

The last glory of my beautiful late October roses!

“We do not become healers. We came as healers. We are. Some of us are still catching up to what we are.

We do not become storytellers. We came as carriers of the stories we and our ancestors actually lived. We are. Some of us are still catching up to what we are.

We do not become artists. We came as artists. We are. Some of us are still catching up to what we are.

We do not become writers, dancers, musicians, helpers, peacemakers. We came as such. We are. Some of us are still catching up to what we are.

We do not learn to love in this sense. We came as Love. We are Love. Some of us are still catching up to who we truly are.”

–Clarissa Pinkola Estes

On my other blog this week, I wrote:

When I attended the GGG this year, one of the realizations I came home with is that sometimes I feel like people are trying to get me to be less (more about this some other time). And, I remembered a session I had with a healer who did a somatic repatterning process with me—one of the beliefs she tested on me was, “I am not enough.” It got a marginal response, but then she tested, “I am TOO MUCH.” And, THAT is the one that tested as true. I wonder how much about myself that I try to change or that I struggle with actually comes from the fear of being, too much. Too intense. Too active. Too talkative. Too much thinking, too much writing, too many ideas, too many projects, too much waving of my hands and pacing when I talk. Too, too, too, too much.

via Blogging, Busyness, and Life: Part 1 | Talk Birth.

After writing the post above, I tuned in to ALisa Starkweather’s free call about embracing your fierce, feminine life. In a very poignant moment of synchronicity, she was talking about being “big” and “small” and that we are all both and can be both, but sometimes we are scared to be “big.” I also recently finished my final paper for my The Role of the Priestess course at OSC. One of the things I realized in the process of writing the three lengthy papers required for the course was that I’m still struggling with issues of insecurity and perfectionism. I also need more approval that I’d like to need and I am less self-confident than I’d like to be. I very often place pressure on myself to be perfect and I’ve noticed that accepting the priestess call has added another layer of something-at-which-I-try-to-be-perfect-and-when-I’m-not-I-feel-like-a-terrible-person-who-doesn’t-deserve-the-name. After having a slightly-insecure conversation with a friend a couple of weeks ago, I returned to a quote from Judy Harrow in an article we read for the Role of the Priestess course:

Mentors must never come to need our students to idealize us. As frightening as the pedestal is at first, it’s also frighteningly easy to get used to being up there. Whoever carries the idealizing projections of others can begin to believe in them and to enjoy the deference they elicit. If we succumb to this temptation, we put our own spiritual health in danger along with that of our students. Needy mentors will probably develop patterns of people pleasing and codependency. They will find it difficult to confront students on inconsistent or inappropriate behavior. They will be weak, and come across as weak, depriving students of exactly the perception of safety and security that they so need… –Judy Harrow

Oh no! I thought. I’m weak. Letting someone else see the self-doubt I tend to experience makes me a bad leader. ::::sob:::: Obviously, since I’m now writing about it, I’ve had a change of heart—while I don’t want to be so needy that I appear weak, I also don’t want to pretend to be so in-the-know and confident all the time that I prevent or inhibit authentic connection and shared human experience. When ALisa got ready to start the call, she posted on FB that she was “shaking in her skin.” That didn’t make me think she was weak, that made me think she was real and I heard that.

A lovely video from ALisa’s call is available here:

(Loved the song!)

The other thing I realized as I wrote my papers and pondered my lack-of-adequate-perfection, was that I really struggle with permission to be irritable/angry sometimes. That is one of the things that to me is just not allowed. Must always be nice and calm. However, since I do actually get irritable and snappy and critical and stressy-wigged out, I’ve then failed. Not good enough, again, dang it. And, I’m back to “who does she think she is” and “I don’t deserve this title/role/calling.”

<should I even write this, she thinks. Weak?!?!>

So…I went back to my saved recordings, since my inner machinations seemed very familiar, and I listened to a recording from several days prior:

A priestess does not always have to be nice
good
perfect
serene
calm.

A priestess can be fierce
she can be sharp
she can be a warrior
she can guard the temple
she can stand up
speak out.

A priestess is powerful
she is a woman who owns her own power
steps into her own life
and her own destiny
wearing the mantle
until it settles so deeply around her
that it becomes rooted in her bones and belly
as who she is
in every moment of every day.

One of my Halloween costumes this year. I was carrying my son’s toy sword for him at a party and a friend said, “warrior priestess!” And, I thought, *exactly*! 😉

A priestess will not be run over
she will not be downtrodden
she will not be oppressed
she will say NO
she will speak firmly
she will draw boundaries
she will hold space
with both tenderness and ferocity.

She will defend
she will build up
she will protect
she will guard
she will lead
she will serve
she will teach
she will share
she will not be silenced.

She will not stuff down or deny her own rough edges
in favor of a myth or a mystique
she will DO IT
she will keep trying
she will stand tall
she will lift her head
and she will say yes when she hears the call…

Then, I did one of the online free readings from Gaian Soul Tarot and I got this:

Unbelievably exact and what I needed to hear. The instructions say to trust your own intuitive reading of the cards before reading the text and I got it. I really did. 🙂