Monthly Archives: August 2013

Woodspriestess: Summer’s Surrender

Tiny flowers of summer August 2013 016
Waving colorful flags
of the season’s surrender
against a backdrop of dry leaves

Lifting tender, hopeful
tenacious faces
parched but promising
a last hurrah
a final fling
a tiny majesty

Spots of glorious color
on dry ground

Proof of life’s own love affair with itself.

August 2013 023Speaking of love affairs, I had one with the tiny flowers of spring and I’m having another with the tiny flowers of summer. It is like a religious experience to me to discover the ever-changing tableau of what Nature has planted for us all season long. I love that these tiny flowers bloom whether I notice them or not. I love that they grow without me watering them or tending them. I love how they emerge in unlikely, unsuspecting places, such as the floor of the greenhouse or between cracks in stone or from piles of gravel. I love that they’re here, doing their own tiny thing, even as the leaves begin to fall from the trees and the winds shift towards autumn. They’re going to keep being beautiful, dang it, as long as they can. I’ve had a mini obsession with spotting them and taking pictures of them over the last two days. I don’t know the proper names for many of them and I also know that several of them turn into nuisance things like burs, but I see them. I’ve noticed and paid attention and this visual experience is my sweet reward. In this photo gallery, the only flowers pictured not planted by Nature are the roses, which are currently experiencing a delightful last hurrah as well, even after a major assault by Japanese beetles this year. Also pictured is a cute mushroom 🙂

Perhaps not coincidentally, I was also inspired to make some fresh new goddesses this week with a floral motif! (available in my updated etsy shop) 🙂

August 2013 036

   And, in past odes to tiny flowers I have known:

Woodspriestess: Tiny Flowers

Tiny flowers know
that hope blooms eternal August 2013 044
pushing the way
through cracked stone
reclaiming
repopulating
rebirthing the Earth

What is a seed
but a miracle
right in front of me

What am I
but a miracle
to be seeing this right now…

Woodspriestess: The Language of Spring

A blush of green begins

Delicate lace of wild plums
Graces gray forestscapes August 2013 042

Heartbeat in the forest sings
The passion of life untapped.
The soul of the world
is speaking the language of spring.

Woodspriestess: Stoneflower | Theapoetics

Like flower growing from rock
the world is full of tiny, perfect mysteries.
Secrets of heart and soul and landscape
guarded tenderly
taking root in hard crevices
stretching forth
in impossible silence.

And, while traveling: Sunday Sabbath: Tiny Desert Flowers

Tender green shoot in unlikely place
Tenacious tapestry of life
This weaving unfolding before my eyes
This is my religion.

August 2013 041

Categories: art, nature, poems, spirituality, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 1 Comment

Woodspriestess: Medicine Woman

Medicine Woman 20130820-150831.jpg

She who heals

Reaching out
strong hands
supple wrists
cleansing touch
place your hand in hers
and you will feel it…

Energy
passing from one to another
conduit of grace
and repair.

Restoration

Medicine Woman reminds you
to sleep when you’re tired
to eat when you’re hungry
to drink when you’re thirsty20130820-150854.jpg
and to dance
just because.

Medicine Woman
let her bind up your wounds
apply balm to your soul
and hold you
against her shoulder
when you need to cry.

Medicine Woman
Earth healer
she’s ready to embrace you.

(7/5/2013)

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Memorial prayer flag

I wrote this poem last month as another character/archetype poem that came to mind after my original outraged ancestral mother poem and prayer. (Both of which were recently published in the current edition of The Tor Stone). Prophet Woman and Shakti Woman also showed up, as did Medicine Woman. I’ve still got Yoga Woman out there too and I thought there weren’t any more, until I had a Buzzard Woman encounter earlier in the month.

Last night I went to a local ceremony for the Day of Hope and Healing, which is a national memorial day for families who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. The photos in this post are from the event. And, today then felt like the perfect time to share my Medicine Woman poem. I’m also having a giveaway on my other blog for this pendant that I made over the weekend:

20130820-150921.jpgI also made some new sculptures and necklaces and updated my etsy shop!

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Categories: art, friends, poems, spirituality, theapoetics, womanspirit, women, woodspriestess | 3 Comments

Woodspriestess: Sweet Breeze

Sweet breeze August 2013 008
kissing my neck
like a prayer.

Lift this anger
rising in my head
where it has ignited
in righteous indignation.

Blow it away
and sweep up my spine
with the breath of compassion.

Solid rock
draw this tension
from my shoulders
so that it may seep away
leaving me flexible
and free.

Let it all drain away…
frustrations
ruminations
recriminations
interpretations
filtering through bedrock

Leaving behind August 2013 006
a chalice of being
receptive
open
welcoming
embracing
hopeful
able to fill
and be filled
able to share
and be lit from within.

Sweet breeze
smooth the wrinkles
from my brow
and from my thoughts.

Categories: blessings, nature, poems, prayers, theapoetics | Leave a comment

Calling the Circle: The Shadow

This post is the fourth in a series, prompted by the book Calling the Circle by Christina Baldwin:

Studying the circle is an imperative aspect of circle work. We can’t keep shadow out of circles in business, or circles in church, or circles in the family; the Gifts for Sagewomen.shadow is not isolatable. When we come into circle and sit down in contained space, pretty soon we see the contents of our shadow reflected back to us around the rim. If we are in a circle that does not acknowledge, respect, and ritualize the existence of shadow in the group, the projections of our ‘not-I’ material accumulate and accumulate until everybody’s closet explodes.

What causes the collapse of circles full of well-intentioned human beings is not the presence of shadow but the repression and denial of shadow, the insistence that it is not among us. Denial of shadow eventually fills the interpersonal field with so much unrecognized and unresolved energy that it is released through explosion or through gradual erosion and undermining of healthy norms.

Most people do not enter the circle thinking about shadow. We enter the circle hoping for light, for shelter, for more efficiency, for a humane way to get things done. But if we do not look at shadow, we create a repeating scenario. Time after time, there is a circle of ‘good’ people who come together with the best intentions and dedication to accomplish a good thing. We are nice to each other. We are often polite and unconsciously conforming. Sometimes one or two people commandeer more leadership, attention, or time in the group than others want, but we don’t know what to do and so we let them. If we are irritated, our dissatisfaction goes underground, covered up with more niceness, or we begin withdrawing our hopes that this will be the circle that really nurtures and protects our fragility or accomplishes our goals. If we are invested in the group, we get angry in our disappointment and begin trying to make others behave. If we aren’t invested, we drift off, showing up less and less often, looking for another, better situation. Sometimes we end up talking with others about a ‘problem person,’ usually not feeling good about our behind-the-scenes behavior but not knowing what else to do.

Personalities polarize between those who seem oblivious to what ‘they’ are doing to the cohesion of the circle and those who are intensely responsive to this discomfort and keep trying to manage ‘the other(s)’ In many of these instances, the concept of the shadow is never introduced into the group, and people do not have the opportunity to live out healthier alternatives for dealing with conflicting energies…our perception needs to shift from polarities of innocence and guilt—‘Look what he/she/they did to me’—to consider what is happening to us, the collective, interconnected body of the circle, and how we continually learn from each other.

Later in the book, Baldwin address the fear involved with healthy participation in a circle and how people may unknowingly act to sabotage it:

  • Someone may obsessively blame the form, coming up with explanation after explanation for why the circle won’t work… [Note: in women’s circles, I see this expressed in a related form of, “women are so hard to work with” and complaints about backstabbing, etc., etc.]
  • Someone may declare that other members of the circles are not safe or trustworthy and refuse to contribute fully until a number of conditions are met. These terms, however, are highly subjective and constantly shifting. No group can prove itself ‘safe’ by the definition of one member; it can only prove itself healthy and responsive to the needs of different people over time.
  • Someone may consistently undermine the self-esteem of others—being hypercritical, reframing other people’s statements, competing verbally, or being overly helpful in a condescending manner.
  • Someone may demand emotional attention that doesn’t fit in the context of the circle; for example, crying until the entire group has stopped to comfort him/her, or raging until the entire group has stopped to placate him/her, or insisting on excessive processing interaction after interaction.
  • Someone may declare him/herself so ‘different’ that s/he can’t identify with the rest of the group–or s/he removes him/herself from peer collegiality through feeling superior or inferior.
  • The entire group may stay locked in the honeymoon phase for a year or more, avoiding the usual breakouts into differentiation. Nope…no shadow here…only incomplete engagement.

She goes on to explain that ALL of us are “guilty” of exhibiting some or many of these behaviors over the years…

“I believe that the thought that women together can change the world is emerging into the minds and hearts of many of us, and that the vessel for personal and planetary evolution is the circle with a spiritual center.” ~Jean Shinoda Bolen

Other posts in this series:

Categories: priestess, quotes, readings, resources, women, women's circle | 1 Comment

Carpriestess: Buzzard Woman

Buzzard womanAugust 2013 037
scouring the earth
scavenging
uncovering
digging up
clawing away.

She picks the meat
from your bones
she drops the scales
from your eyes
she cleans out
your shell.

Digesting
transforming
all that has passed away
into something new
clearing away the dead
making way for rebirth.

Listen to her
she says
waste nothing.

Lots of vultures on the road yesterday morning and again when I returned heading the other direction. I’ve seen at least four dead armadillos on the road in the last two days. I got a comment in response to my Armadillo post surprised that we have armadillos in Missouri. Indeed, we didn’t always have them. They have migrated this direction in response to climate change, since they can now survive the more mild winters we now have here. In fact, just this past winter I saw one in the woods snuffling around through the snow. They often dig holes in our field or rustle through the woods.

This week, I also saw hummingbirds in the woods. We feed them, so I often see them in front of the house at the feeders, but I don’t usually notice them “in the wild.” It has been raining like crazy here (I mean crazy. There is significant flooding in many areas close to me, including on the gravel road I take in to town [one direction, the other direction is passable, so I’m not trapped]). This is in dramatic contrast to the horrible drought we experienced last summer. In the woods, I noticed lots of leaves starting to fall. Right now, they’re falling because of heat or disease or various reasons rather than it really being fall, but still…it was a startling reminder that autumn is coming. Really? Wasn’t it just spring and then summer?! Didn’t I just start visiting the woods on the ice and snow?!

August 2013 032

Nature’s palette…

  August 2013 024

Categories: death, nature, poems, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 1 Comment

Woodspriestess: Armadillo Surprise

armadillo

(not the actual armadillopriestess that I met in the woods)

Eight months into my woodspriestess experiment and I continue to be surprised by this same small patch of woods. Last night, if you chanced to overhear me in my sacred space, you would have heard me scream:

“Oh my GAWD!!!!! I just STEPPED ON an ARMADILLO!!!!!!”

Yes, that is correct, I stepped squarely on a genuine, real live armadillo on my way through the woods last night. I’d gotten “too busy” to visit the woods during the day and by the time I made my way down there, it was totally dark. I opted to go out without a flashlight, feeling a bit smug, if I do say so myself, that I know these woods so well and am just so connected that I don’t even need a flashlight to find my way and then…STEP…bizarre-growling-squeal/grunt-and-scuttle and me screaming the above. My first thought as I grasped what had happened was actually to try to take a picture for a blog post, but by then it was too late and only the scaly tail was dimly visible under a nearby shrub! By the time I stood on the rocks, I was laughing semi-hysterically and my heart was pounding with the adrenalin and surprise. I reflected again on how very many creatures share these woods with me and I wondered how many other woodspriestesses of various species cross these very stones each day! I think of them as “mine,” but clearly an armadillo also finds them a useful nighttime resting place.

I spoke aloud…

Dark Mother
Rising up to surprise us
stumbling in the night
stepping on armadillos
startled by a snake in the path
surrounded by bug song
and mystery

a place to incubate dreams
arising with purpose
and potency
but always reminding us
to watch your step.

20130804-204733.jpg

This afternoon, I was compelled to take a little armadillopriestess down to the rocks with me for a joke. But, I didn’t wait until dark!

Dark Mother
rising up in surprising places
leading us beside choppy waters
holding back our hair if we vomit.

Dark Mother
do not go easy
into the night
you claw and scratch
jumping up
clad in armor
that we may trip over.

Keep us on the edge
keep us on our toes
keep us in the dark
keep us in the mystery…

I never want to stop being surprised by this place, even if it makes my heart pound.
Thank you.

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Categories: endarkenment, nature, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 2 Comments

Thesis Project

Here is your sacrament MR_089
Take. Eat. this is my body
this is real milk, thin, sweet, bluish,
which I give for the life of the world…
Here is your bread of life.
Here is the blood by which you live in me.”
–Robin Morgan (in Life Prayers, p. 148)

“…When I say painless, please understand, I don’t mean you will not feel anything. What you will feel is a lot of pressure; you will feel the might of creation move through you…” – Giuditta Tornetta in Painless Childbirth

“I am the holy mother; . . . She is not so far from me. And perhaps She is not so very distinct from me, either. I am her child, born in Her, living and moving in Her, perhaps at death to be birthed into yet some other new life, still living and having my being in Her. But while on this earth She and I share the act of creation, of being, and Motherhood.”Niki Whiting, “On Being a Holy Mother” in Whedon

“Woman-to-woman help through the rites of passage that are important in every birth has significance not only for the individuals directly involved, but for the whole community. The task in which the women are engaged is political. It forms the warp and weft of society.” –Sheila Kitzinger

In 2011, I started working on my doctoral degree in thealogy (Goddess studies). Before I even began my first class, I chose my dissertation subject: birth as a spiritual experience. I’ve been steadily plugging away on my coursework and somehow in the midst of everything else that I am responsible for, I’ve successfully completed 13 of my classes. I already have a (not related) master’s degree and this is why I was admitted straight into the doctoral program, even though I have to complete a lot of M.Div (master’s of divinity) level coursework as prerequisites to the actual doctoral classes. After I finished my most recent class and got my updated transcript, I finally actually noticed how many M.Div classes I’ve completed thus far on my journey and it occurred to me to email to inquire what it would take to finish an M.Div degree first. I had this sudden feeling of what a nice stepping stone or milestone experience it would be to finish something, since I know that I have a minimum of three more years remaining before I complete the D.Min! They wrote back quickly and let me know that with the completion of three courses in matriarchal myth (I’m halfway through the first right now), my almost-completed year-long class in Compassion (I’m in month 11), and The Role of the Priestess course (involving three ten-page papers), all of which are also part of my doctoral program, the only other thing required for successful completion of my M.Div would be a thesis (minimum of 70 pages).

As I’ve been working through my classes, I’ve felt a gradual shift in what I want to focus on for my dissertation, and I already decided to switch to writing about theapoetics and ecopsychology now, rather than strictly about birth. I was planning to mash my previous ideas about birth and a “thealogy of the body” into this new topic somehow, perhaps: theapoetics, ecopsychology, and embodied thealogy. Then, when I got the news about the option of writing a thesis and finishing my M.Div, it became clear to me: my thesis subject is birth as a spiritual experience! This allows me to use the ideas and information I’d already been collecting as dissertation “seeds” as a thesis instead and frees me up to explore and develop my more original ideas about theapoetics for my dissertation! So…why post about this now? Well, one because I’m super excited about all this and just wanted to share and two, because I’d love to hear from readers about their experiences with birth as a spiritual experience! While I don’t have to do the kind of independent research for a thesis that I will be doing for my dissertation and while my focus is unabashedly situated within a feminist context and a thealogical orientation, I would love to be informed by a diverse chorus of voices regarding this topic so that the project becomes an interfaith dialog. Luckily for me I’ve already reviewed a series of relevant titles.

Now, I’d like to hear from you. What are your experiences with the spirituality of birth? Do you consider birth to be a spiritual experience? Did you have any spiritual revelations or encounters during your births or any other events along your reproductive timeline? (miscarriage, menstruation, lactation…) Did you draw upon spiritual coping measures or resources as you labored and gave birth? Did giving birth deepen, expand, or otherwise impact your sense of spirituality or your sense of yourself as a spiritual or religious person? Did any of your reproductive experiences open your understanding of spirituality in a way that you had not previously experienced or reveal beliefs or understandings not previously uncovered?

When I use the word “spiritual,” I mean a range of experiences from a humanistic sensation of being linked to women around the world from all times and spaces while giving birth, to a “generic” sense of feeling the “might of creation” move through you, to a sense of non-specifically-labeled powers of Life and Universe being spun into being through your body, to feeling like a “birth goddess” as you pushed out your baby, to more traditional religious expressions of praying during labor, or drawing upon scripture as a coping measure, or feeling that giving birth brought you closer to the God of your understanding/religion, or, indeed, meeting God/dess or Divinity during labor and birth).  I’m particularly interested in women’s embodied experiences of creation and whether or not your previous religious beliefs or spiritual understandings in life affirmed, acknowledged, or encouraged your body and bodily experience of giving birth as sacred and valuable as well as your own sense of yourself as spiritually connected or supported while giving birth. I would appreciate links to birth stories or articles that you found helpful, books you enjoyed or connected with, and comments relating to your own personal experiences with any of the comments or questions I have raised above. I would love to hear about your thoughts as they relate to:

  • Pregnancy IMG_0225
  • Labor
  • Birthing
  • Lactation
  • Miscarriage
  • Infertility
  • Menstruation
  • Reproductive Rights
  • Birth as a feminist or social justice issue…

 Thank you!

With these things said, I also want to mention that I’m planning to redirect a lot of my writing energy/time into this thesis project rather than to blog posts. I’m trying to come up with a blog posting schedule for myself, but in order to actually do this thing, I must acknowledge that I have to re-prioritize some things and that means writing for my blogs probably needs to slip down a couple of notches in terms of priority of focus.

Oh, and I also hope this thesis project will turn into a book of some kind as well! 🙂

“It is hard to find a female-based concept such as Shakti alive within Western spiritual traditions. Shakti could be viewed as an expression of goddess in the female body at the time of birth. I would say its flow / expression and outcome of love is hindered by unnecessary interventions at birth which divert such energy towards fear- based, masculine forms. The use of masculine, rescue-based healing forms such as cutting (Grahn, 1993) can be necessary and useful, yet such procedures are currently used at the cost of women’s autonomy in the birthing process (see Jordan on C-section, 2007), and define the parameters of what feminist thinker Mary Daly called patriarchal medicine (1978). Modern women are largely lost when it comes to giving birth, turning to medical authority figures to be told what to do. Daly pointed to the dangers of this appropriation for women’s personal and collective autonomy.

Birthing bodies resist, disrupt and threaten standard North American modernist investments in linear time, rationality, order, and objectivity. Birth disrupts the Judeo-Christian male image of God, even as He hides the reality of female creation and creativity. I hold that women giving birth act from a focal point of power within their respective cultures and locations, the power to generate and renew human life itself from within the female body. This power is more absolute in its human reality then any other culturally sanctioned act of replication and material production, or social construction. I speculate that how this female power is expressed, denied, or acknowledged by women and within the society around a birthing woman reflects the degree to which women can and may express themselves at large. As each soul makes the journey through her/his mother, re-centring human consciousness within the female-based reality of human birth causes transformation of patriarchal consciousness as a whole…” –Nane Jordan, Towards an Ontology of Women Giving Birth

This post is crossposted at Talk Birth

Categories: birth, embodiment, feminism, feminist thealogy, Goddess, OSC, spirituality, thealogy, thesis, womanspirit, writing | 8 Comments

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