nature

Sacred

Let us be clear that when I say Goddess I am not talking about a being somewhere outside of this world, nor am I proposing a new belief system. I am talking about choosing an attitude; choosing to take this living world, the people and creatures in it, as the ultimate meaning and purpose of life, to see the world, the Earth, and our lives as sacred.” –Starhawk (Open Mind, 2/7)

Today I made sugar cookies with my kids:

And polymer clay ornaments for myself:

December 2013 001

I noticed that it snowed more overnight and my old footprints in the woods were covered up and smoothed over. Yesterday, I also noticed how interestingly the snow on the deck rails had melted:

I finally got some work done on my matriarchal myth paper, but it is tedious going. Tomorrow begins the big push to get the school session finished and piles and piles of papers graded. I’m going to get up early and devote most of the day to it.

Every day sacred…right?! 😉

Categories: family, nature, parenting, quotes | 4 Comments

Crucible

…The work is hard December 2013 037

Your fingers may bleed

But each cloth stitched together

Brings together a community

A world, our future world

Under one colorful quilt

The new quilt of humanity.

–Julia Myers (in We’Moon, 2013)

Even though there is a lot of snow on the ground today, I still took some of my new sculptures down to the woods like I always do to take pictures of them and to “bless” them in that space. As I was taking the pictures and thinking about how I was so busy doing that that I wasn’t necessarily paying that much attention to the woods, but rather to the snow on the rocks and how it was getting on my sculptures, I had the flash of the thought: this is the feminist crucible of the self. This thought seemed was not actually about the act of taking pictures, but rather about the whole year-long stretch of time in the woods. I thought, again, about all the ways in which I have entered that space this year and all the things I’ve carried with me, both literally and figuratively. While I’m still “the same” in many ways, I also feel like I’m a different person than the one who first began this practice. I’ve carried and photographed sculptures, yes, but I’ve also refined both my art and my thealogy. I’ve grieved and mourned and laughed and drummed and danced. I’ve learned about myself. I’ve learned about the world. I’ve turned over heavy issues. I’ve been surprised and delighted. I’ve been scared. I’ve had stark realizations that the woods could kill me as well as bless me. I’ve turned over the stuff of my life and made decisions and had insights. I’ve turned my face to the sky. I’ve watched a snake in the leaves and a lizard on the tree and bees in the air. A spider bit me on the cheek and I still have a mark there right now. And, I keep going and I keep learning new things. Crucible.

I also read this article from John at The Allergic Pagan about an experience with The Gross Goddess at the seaside:

“This is your Goddess,” my wife said to me smiling.

“It’s the slimy side of her,” I responded.

“This is life,” she replied.

It’s strange when a seemingly mundane moment is transformed into a sacred one. I looked at my Mormon wife standing in the ocean, holding a shell, and I heard her speak the words of a true priestess: “This is your Goddess. This is life.”

via My Goddess is gross.

I’m out of time to write tonight. This is one of those times when what I can do, is what I can do, and it is enough.

Oh yeah, wait, I also want to share that I’m procrastinating terribly on my second paper for my Matriarchal Myth class. I finished reading When God Was a Woman (for the second time) and the assignment is a 15 page critical analysis of the book and the issues it raises. I’m just not that in to matriarchal pre-history stuff and I feel like I’ve read the same things over and over and over again and I don’t want to write about it any more! However, I need to write it. It is one of the last papers standing between me and my thesis/M.Div completion. It “should” be easy enough to write and I have 27 pages of possible content cobbled together in a starting doc for it. I just can’t manage to actually seem to work on it though. Tomorrow is my last chance for a while, because then work kicks up a whole bunch of notches for me until the session ends on Saturday night…

December 2013 043

Right before I left the woods today and turned and saw this and it seemed very suitable to my “crucible” thoughts.

Categories: nature | 1 Comment

The Full Circle

“Goddess is Magic, the subtle forces of planets, moons and stars, and the Powers of our own Deep Minds. And She is Our Ability to Call forth that which we have need December 2013 012of, and to banish that which we no longer need. And therefore let us gather together in our communities, and join with the forces within and without…”

–Shekhinah in Open Mind (9/25)

Diane Mariechild, the editor of Open Mind, then goes on to explain the following: 

Goddess is the full circle. She is birth, life, death, and rebirth. [People] need the Goddess. The planet needs the Goddess. We need to celebrate and embrace the full circle of life; to know that all of life is contained within this circle. There is nothing that is outside the circle…Goddess is energy, a way of balanced relationship, an openness of the heart that allows us to have a full experience of life, with all its pain and all its joy.

Find a quiet time during the day or the night when you can sit alone and feel the energy of the world around you. Tune into the natural world—the water, the air, the light of the sun or the moon, the trees, the Earth. Can you sense this energy? No need to call it by any name. Sense. Breathe. Allow

Last night and today, it snowed a lot. I was interested to see the juncos–snowbirds–show up several days before the snow, when the temperature was still in the 60’s. They hopped around in the driveway and I told my husband that I guessed the forecast was actually going to be right, even though the air didn’t feel like it! I used up most of my writing energy/time today by writing blog posts about our winter family fun on other December 2013 030blogs. And, today my blog post about my grandmother’s memorial service (which I planned and served as the priestess for) was published on Feminism and Religion:

It was deeply important to me to have multiple voices represented during the small, family-only, service and I enlisted all the grandchildren present, as well as her step-grandchildren, in an adapted responsive reading based on Walt Whitman’s “Song of the Open Road”. I chose it precisely because it spoke to the irrepressible, adventuresome spirit of my grandmother. It was a lot of pressure to be responsible for the family ceremony for the interment of her ashes. I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted it to be what she deserved. I wanted it to “speak” to every person there. I wanted it to be worthy of her. I hope it was enough.

via An Epic Woman: A Feminist Eulogy by Molly | Feminism and Religion.

I also found out that my revised thesis prospectus was accepted and I can officially use my Woodspriestess project as the subject of my thesis!

And, I decided I simply must pre-order this amazing-sounding anthology of writings by modern priestesses:

From “Priestessing with Integrity” by Sylvia Braillier:

“Priestess . . . favored by the Goddess, wise woman, sage and a guide to others on the path. Being a December 2013 026priestess is a vocation that honors the sacredness we embody as women. We are fortunate to live in a time when the Goddess is returning and we can represent and support her work here in this world as priestesses. It’s easy to make up romantic notions about what it is to be a priestess. Not to say that some of them aren’t true, but it’s a package deal that includes real challenges and great blessings. When the rubber meets the road, what does being a priestess really entail?

Whether initiated as a priestess within a tradition or by the challenges and blessings of life, certain responsibilities are part and parcel of the vocation. The job of priestess doesn’t stop when you leave the circle. It is a life commitment to accountability and integrity, not only by performing your duties to the best of your ability but by walking in life as a living representative of enlightened behavior and speech. As a priestess, your behavior sets the bar. One of the greatest gifts you can give is to teach by example and live the teachings as fully as you can.”

http://www.goddess-ink.com/priestessanthology.html

May we all live well and wisely and take any opportunity to play in the snow 🙂

    December 2013 048

Categories: family, feminist thealogy, Goddess, nature, priestess, spirituality, woodspriestess | 3 Comments

Winter Rose

December 2013 022

Snowy rose.

It takes patience to photograph a rose

it take patience to grow a thorn

it takes patience to be a rosebush

it takes patience to be born.

Snow has fallen in the forest and the air is cold and misty.

Throughout the summer and fall, I took pictures of my rosebush by the back deck, focusing on one rose specifically that I took pictures of throughout its lifespan as a sort of in-depth study of its bud, bloom, full flower, and decline. I meant to do a post about the life cycle of a rose and include all the pictures as well as my sense of connection through it to the larger cycle of life, endlessly repeated. The moments passed and I never wrote the post, but today one small piece of what I thought one day as I tried to take a picture of it came back to me as I stood on the rocks. In the breeze, it is hard to steady the bush enough to take a non-blurry picture. Trying to steady it and thinking I would have to give up on getting a clear picture, I snagged my finger on a bramble and I thought about how patience is required for both tasks.

Here are some of those rose pictures:

And, here are some of today’s snowfall. The Wheel keeps on turning and I keep on watching (and living it).

Categories: nature, woodspriestess | 6 Comments

Deep Talk

“No lesson is learned immediately. There is a phrase used in West Africa, deep talk, which means that anybody will understand it on a certain level. People who are interested in really understanding more take that lesson deeper. As far down as you take the advice you could still go deeper if you lived longer enough.” –Maya Angelou

I really like this concept of deep talk, even though I’m not totally sure I completely get it. I’ll keep living and see what I learn…

I already wrote a short post tonight on my other blog in which I mentioned being amazed sometimes about how the internet “smallens” the world. It is truly incredibly. Last month, I got a message from Nané Jordan, who I quoted in my original thesis proposal. She happened to find my blog post and offered to send me a copy of her own dissertation and thesis on birth/women’s spirituality related themes. The package arrived today from Canada and I am very much looking forward to digging into her work. I’m also sending one of my own pewter goddess pendants back to her and I love that we’ve made this connection, through words and ideas, from across the miles.

As I sat on the rocks this afternoon, looking at her dissertation and thesis, I felt really concerned about my ability to do this. To dig this deep. To so deeply engage with my ideas. I flipped through her work thinking, how did she DO this? I worried that maybe I think too casually—skimming over the surface in internet soundbites and the blank safety of a computer screen, when I should really be wrestling in the mud with my theories. Dibbling, dabbling, working in bits and pieces and fragments and hurried scraps, rushing along. Do I think deeply enough to carry a project of this magnitude and effort through? Then I thought about how just a few minutes ago I stepped the wrong way in the leaves and twisted my ankle a little. The cat bit my hand and I smacked at her in an un-spiritually-evolved, non-zen manner. I thought about how I stepped on an armadillo in these woods and I knew something after all: this is my mud and I’m wrestling in it with my theories…

“We need to approach our state of mind with curiosity and open wonder. That open curious listening to life is joy—no matter what the mood of our life is.” –Charlotte Joko Beck

(*both quotes again from the daily reader, Open Mind, by Diane Mariechild. Love this book!)

Categories: nature, OSC, spirituality, womanspirit, women, woodspriestess, writing | Leave a comment

Practice

“My writing is a practice. It requires that sort of daily repetition and solitude—being with oneself—awareness—awareness of one’s body, awareness of one’s thoughts, awareness of one’s own process. And meditation makes me more aware of everything I do, so it makes the movements within my writing process clearer to me.”

–Susan Griffin (in Open Mind, 10/16)

It is interesting to see that I’ve decided to begin this new daily writing practice at a time in which I don’t feel much like writing any blog posts! Hmm. Today, my time in the woods was abbreviated slightly by the return of my small children, but before their voices came floating over to me, I was sitting with the sound of woodpeckers. There were at least three different ones near me of at least two types and it sounded like there were more that I didn’t see. As winter steadily approaches, I’ve noticed that there is much less bird song in the forest lately, but today (warmer) the woods were alive with the sounds of birds and squirrels. Woodschorus.

I’ve also noticed that while I enjoy being alone, I’m feeling a little cooped up and isolated lately–the Thanksgiving holiday meant that our usual weekly activities were different from what they usually are and I’ve gone nearly a week without seeing anyone other than my immediate family and my parents. My nerves feel a little shot by the voices of my darling children, I’m really feeling extremely done co-sleeping with my toddler daughter, and all three of them seem out of sorts and extra messy, wild, loud, disagreeable and irritable too. I think they also miss seeing their friends and going places.

With winter’s approach and the turn of the wind to cold, it has also come to my attention that I want to create some more sacred spaces inside my home. Before I began my woodspractice, I used to sit at my living room altar every morning and spend some time in prayer/reflection. Now, I’ve let it get a bit dusty and so over the weekend I spent some time cleaning it up and rearranging the items a little bit. Today when I sat down at my desk to work on my classes, I lit a candle and then designed to squeeze a little altar space in front of my textbooks 🙂

December 2013 001I’m having trouble allowing myself the moontime downtime my body calls for as well. Though I very nearly talked myself out of it AND very nearly apologizing for wanting to do it, I did carve out a small niche of time in which to participate in Paola’s New Moon Intention call this evening. I laid down with a heat pack with a candle December 2013 009and a pocket goddess sculpture as a tiny altar space and listening with my eyes closed to her voice and to the intentions of the other women in the virtual sacred circle. I’m glad I gave this to myself, even though it meant people were waiting for dinner.

Yesterday, I decided that I’m no longer willing to expect myself to be perfect. I’m done with that. I’m cleaning it out. Unraveling it from around my heart and brain. Done.

“Imitate the trees. Learn to lose in order to recover, and remember that nothing stays the same for long, not even pain, psychic pain. Sit it out. Let it all pass. Let it go.” –May Sarton (in Open Mind, 10/25)

“It is a long baptism into the seas of humankind, my daughter. Better immersion than to live untouched.” –Tillie Olsen (in Open Mind, 11/8)

In keeping with the swirling change of the seasons, I fell in love with this amazing picture of Shekinah Shaking Out the Seasons by Caron McCloud (Shiloh Sophia McCloud‘s mother). For some reason it came to me today and I felt absolutely transfixed by it:

I hope there is a print of this available someday because it must go on my wishlist! And, I signed up for her free “7 day aliveness challenge” too.

Categories: art, family, introversion, moontime, nature, quotes, woodspriestess | 1 Comment

Interstanding

“The question about how to ‘understand’ her now clarifies itself, as the wrong question…perhaps interstand is what we do, to engage with the work, to mix with it in an active engagement, rather than ‘figuring it out.’ Figure it in.”

–Judy Grahn (in Open Mind, 10/8)

To interstand, we must be in relationship with what is happening (Diane Mariechild). After my realization in the woods this weekend about my thesis, I also remembered that December represents the anniversary of my decision to embark on my year long woods experiment. So, it seems like the perfect time to do a wrap-up month of daily posts—kind of a conclusion month as I both finish out the year and prepare my thesis. I did this in March and it was an extremely powerful experience in deepening my practice. I’ve been wanting to do another month of daily posts for a while now, but keep letting other things get in the way. Now feels like the right time though 🙂 Of course, the day is almost over and this is all I’ve managed, but that is part of the practice: doing it anyway.

I took a couple of pictures of little treasures in the woods this afternoon and also a better one of the tree I wrote about yesterday:

As I spent time today catching up with Open Mind, a book of daily meditations that I’ve loved reading this year, I found this delightful quote:

“It is now time for all women of the colorful mind, who are aware of the cycles of night and day and the dance of the moon in her tides, to arise.” –Dhyani Ywahoo (in Open Mind, 11/22)

And, it reminded me of one of my favorite new pendant designs:
20131201-232125.jpg

(This one isn’t yet listed on etsy. If you’d like me to set up a reserved listed for you for her, let me know :))

Categories: nature, quotes, spirituality, woodspriestess | 3 Comments

Sacred Relationship to the Land

I recently read an article about creating a sacred relationship with the land. As soon as I read it, I knew exactly who I think of as the guardian spirit of my own place in the woods. It is this tree. I’m thankful for the opportunity to get to know it.

November 2013 054

“This generation is serving as the midwife for the rebirth of the Shechinah…This Goddess who shines on us as we study sacred texts is found in redwood groves and apple orchards. She is coming to us in the wind and the water, in the ocean and the mountains.” –Rabbi Leah Novick (quoted in Open Mind, 9/8)

This weekend as I sat on a rock looking through the “doorway” created by two more tree trunks at the Guardian Tree beyond and having the sensation that it was both a doorway to and a doorway from, I had a sudden crystal clear moment of revelation about my M.Div thesis project. This is IT. This woodspriestess practice and experiment I embarked on throughout the course of 2013—I’ve been working on my thesis this entire year, I just didn’t know it. I spent some time this afternoon writing a new thesis prospectus and it came flowing out. A Year of Lessons from the Forest. I’ve got this.

[My prospective content for my birth-as-a-spiritual-experience thesis plan is over 200 pages long, which also tells me that my thesis needs to re-become my dissertation plan (it actually WAS my original dissertation plan until I decided to take a detour and complete the M.Div).]

I also remembered spending a lot of time as a child with a big sycamore tree in the valley by my house. It was the guardian spirit of that place. There was a little sort of brambly grove by it with a rock pile (from past settler field-clearing) that I used to play in/on/by. I pretended that the tree had a keyhole in it and my magic key (that I used to wear around my neck), would open the trunk and that there was another world behind the tree. I called it Idlewild. (googled this and apparently it is a series of books that began being published in 2003. I was a kid in the 1980’s though, so I didn’t read them)

Here are some excerpts from that article I mentioned…

How To Create a Sacred Relationship with the Land

Here are some tips for establishing a bond with the land near where you live:

Start with your own backyard, and apply the suggestions below. Hua reminds us that “every place is sacred.”

By foot, explore new mountains, hills, forests, lakes, ocean sides, or other earth areas near where you live. Feel which places call to you. When you find a place you like, keep returning. Make a commitment to visit it at least once a month.

Ask permission to enter any given place from what you feel is the “guardian” spirit of the place –– you’ll instinctively sense where it resides. What’s important is your respectful intention.

State your intention for being there –– to love the place, say prayers, hear what it has to say, be of service, heal the land, honor the local ancestors, make amends for transgressions to the First Peoples, etc…

Sit and feel your love for the place. That’s it. Just feel the appreciation you have for the beauty of the landscape, the trees, the plants and animals. Let Earth Mother and the visible and invisible elements feel your affection.

Listen for messages. Get quiet and see if you can receive information –– and healing –– for yourself, others, Mama Earth, etc…

Seven Sisters Mystery School Marguerite Rigoglioso

20131129-122751.jpgYep. 🙂

Categories: Goddess, nature, quotes, spirituality, thesis, woodspriestess | 4 Comments

Bonewind’s Return

Bone wind has returned November 2013 009
mother of winter’s chill
sweeping through bare branches
and rattling dusty leaves.

The remnants of summer
have completely faded
and the doorway to the new year
has cracked open.

With the skeletal swirl of frost and freeze
I see the hint
of new things
waiting to burst from behind the door

Hibernating now perhaps
hunkered down to wait it out
resting, biding time, percolating
nestled in darkness
but, oh so ready, to grow.

It is only on the surface
that the world prepares to take a long nap
underneath the crust
change boils
life bubbles
new ideas gestate
and time crowns anew
with the promise and potential of birth
held in cupped hands.

The flame of fresh ideas flickers
and catches
until the blaze of possibility
envelopes the cold.

Winter is falling across the woods and I find myself filled with an amazing sense of promise and potential about the new year. 2103 has held a lot of transition for my family, it has held the grief of my grandmother’s death, as well as changes aplenty–some changes that are beautifully enriching, creatively inspiring, and relationship enhancing and some changes that have been difficult, sad, trying, and frustrating. Ever since the wind turned towards fall, I’ve felt a sensation of “fall cleaning.” Sweep it out, start fresh, begin again, take a break, pause, regroup, reform, re-try, launch, begin, start new things…I’ve felt it practically in terms of rearranging my house and going on various decluttering missions, but I also feel it inside—my own purpose, focus, priorities, and projects.

In the past I wrote about what I termed the bone wind here: Woodspriestess: Bonewind | WoodsPriestess

Categories: endarkenment, holidays, nature, poems, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 1 Comment

Woodspriestess: Deer Woman

Deer Woman October 2013 007
running free
choosing her path carefully.
Stepping delicately
on crunchy leaves
picking her way through rocky hillsides
cautious, aware, watchful, knowing.

What’s that?
A sound.
Her ear is tuned
to the heartbeat of the earth
she walks in time with the wind
she is cleansed by raindrops and dew
and the fire of her own sweet breath
as she nestles with her fawn in secret places.

She knows the dark privacy of the forest
the cool side of the mountain
the warm sun of the field
she knows the taste of grapes on her tongue
the feel of wind on her back
and the joy of leaping, unbound.October 2013 088

She may appear timid and wary
yet she will not be boxed in
she will not be caged
she will not be fenced
she will dance wild and free
in moonlight
in sunlight
on stone
and on grass
in field and valley
running, running
and calling your name.

Come run with me
be free
leap the fences
leaving behind that which is narrow and confining
and sip the sweet raindrops by my side.

Watch
pay attention
assess
gauge
be alert and cautious
and run.
Run like the wind.
Wherever the beat of your heart
and Gaia’s horn might lead. October 2013 059

I don’t really relish having to wear hunter’s orange when I head down to the woods lately. The sound of nearby gunshots encroaches on my sacred ground and makes me feel a sense of risk. Tonight while standing on the rocks feeling uncertain rather than peaceful, I remembered that I wrote a poem called Deer Woman a couple of months ago and never published it. It felt obvious that the time has now come!

I originally composed this poem when startling some deer away from the rocks by accident several months ago. They’re often there in the morning, making me think of the other woodspriestesses who visit the same spot that I call “mine,” but which is home to many and belongs only to itself.

“In a way Winter is the real Spring – the time when the inner things happen, the resurgence of nature.”
– Edna O’Brien

 Other poems in the Woman series are linked to here.

Categories: nature, poems, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 1 Comment

Alchemist

October 2013 003

Earth alchemy. This little mother-of-millions plant has been struggling along since last winter when I friend gave it to me. After quite a few months of expecting the plant to keel over, it finally seems to have found its strength this summer and I think it is going to survive after all!

The miracle is in
the capacity of your eyes
to distinguish
an ordinary tree
from a sun-crowned
gently nodding
green cathedral.

To realize a faucet
is a dispensary
of wet, braided light.

To regard
your own left hand
as an astonishing feat
of animation.

The alchemist
who changes
a rabid
gnashing world
into unstoppable
tender music
is none other
than you.

by Natascha Bruckner (in We’Moon 2013)

I’m getting ready to make a new order of We’Moon datebooks for 2014 and I’ve been going through the 2013 edition looking back over the sections I’d marked and enjoyed and this poem caught my eye. One of the things that I’ve so enjoyed about my woodspractice this is the the opportunity to study very in-depth the alchemy of the woods, of the planet, and my interaction with it. There is so much that I’ve noticed that I would have overlooked without the daily contact. Like this rose…

October 2013 022

Deciding to make a go of it even though it is October now…

October 2013 031

Spreading open after the rain…

October 2013 041

And then so perfect and beautiful and rich that I actually gasped when I saw the picture come up on my computer.

 Of course, I planted this rose, so it isn’t quite the same as observing what Nature planted on her own, but it is definitely a part of this alchemy—this interaction—between this patch of land and me.

Categories: nature, poems, spirituality, theapoetics | Leave a comment

Moonpriestess

Moonmaiden  Sept 2013 023
Moonmother
Moonpriestess

She tilts her face to the sky
she opens her arms wide
she draws it down
clean
healing
holy moonlight
enlivening her being
lightening her footsteps
and guiding her path

Moon guide
moon guardian
shining one
sacred spirit
we call upon you
for healing
for wisdom
for inspiration
for guidance

You connect us
in sacred rhythm
to the heartbeat
of the planet
the pull
of the tides
the pulse
of our blood.

We hope
we laugh
we sing
we pray
we dance
by your light
in your rhythm
we drum
in your sacred power

Keeper of ancient wisdom
witness to unfathomable eons
may we be forever
inspired by our connection to you
enlivened by your wisdom
and guided by your truth

Moonpriestess
Moonmama
Moon maiden

Thank you
blessed be.

This was the second of two poems/prayers that I wrote before leaving for the Gaea Goddess Gathering. During the festival the moon was full and beautiful and as it crested over the trees at the top of the ridge where the main rituals and drum circles were held, it literally felt like it was energizing the circle. We also noticed a cool morning effect during which the full moon and sunrise could be witnessed at the same time.

Sept 2013 054And, the following morning I took a misty morning, sunrise stroll around the lake with my sister-in-law. During last year’s GGG, I was too focused on recovering from my hornet sting to really connect to the land. This year, I didn’t expect to connect with the land, since I’m already so connected to my own land, but I connected anyway. The lake is beautiful in the morning sunrise and so was Venus Sanctuary (a little meadow near the lake).

Sept 2013 097

Categories: blessings, GGG, Goddess, invocations, liturgy, moontime, nature, poems, prayers, priestess, spirituality, theapoetics | 1 Comment

Woodspriestess: Blood Ties

Sept 2013 004The blood of many species
swirls around me
The blood of many mothers
runs through me
The blood of many generations
comes from me

The blood of earth
feeds me
The blood of the Goddess
holds me

We dance together
in an ancient ecstasy
blood deep
bone rich
holy, potent, and pure.

The blood of creation
The blood of inspiration
The blood of sacrifice
and renewal…

Categories: Goddess, moontime, nature, poems, spirituality, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 1 Comment

Goddess Body, World Body

This post is reprinted from my column at the SageWoman blogs.

“Here is your sacrament
Take. Eat. this is my body
this is real milk, thin, sweet, bluish,
which I give for the life of the world…
Here is your bread of life.
Here is the blood by which you live in me.”
–Robin Morgan (in Life Prayers, p. 148)

All religion is about the mystery of creation. If the mystery of birth is the origin of religion, it is women that we must look for the phenomenon that first made her aware of the unseen power…Women’s awe at her capacity to create life is the basis of mystery. Earliest religious images show pregnancy, rather than birth and nurturing, as the numinous or magical state” (Monica Sjoo and Barbara Mor, The Great Cosmic Mother, p. 71)

I am working on a thesis project about birth as a spiritual experience. As I collect my resources, the quotes above keep running through my head. Birth as the original sacrament. Breastfeeding as the original communion. Blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone, women transmute blood into breath, into being, into life for others.

Abrahamic theology in its root mythology, sets up the male body as “normal” as well neatly includes the notion that there is a divine hierarchy in which men are above women in value, role, and power. It also twists reality, by asserting that women come from men’s bodies, rather than the other way around. This inversion didn’t begin with Christianity, it has roots in more ancient mythology as well. Connected to the conversion of women’s natural creative, divine-like powers of the womb into the originators of sin and corruption, we readily see the deliberate inversion of the womb of the Goddess into the head of the father in the gulping down of Metis by Zeus and the subsequent birth of Athena from his head. Patriarchal creation myths rely heavily on biologically non-normative masculine creation imagery. I really appreciated the brief note from Sjoo in The Great Cosmic Mother that, “In later Hindu mysticism the egg is identified as male generative energy. Whenever you come upon something like this, stop and ponder. If it is absurdly inorganic—male gods ‘brooding on the waters’ or ‘laying eggs’—then you know you are in the presence of an original Goddess cosmology stolen and displaced by later patriarchal scribes” (p. 56).

Modern-day diet culture may actually be as potent an agent of female body control and manipulation as ancient church doctrine. And, where there are wounded, denied, oppressed, and suppressed female bodies, there is an exploited world body as well. Women who retain their “wild natures” see value in “wild nature,” rather than seeing nature as something to be dominated, exploited and controlled. Diet culture encourages this attitude of domination of bodies and restraining of physical, “earthy” impulses and needs—no wonder we see this same basic attitude of domination and control carried out in the macrocosm as well. Womb ecology reflects world ecology, world ecology reflects womb ecology…

According to Melissa Raphael in her book Thealogy and Embodiment, “Spiritual feminism consecrates flesh as something more than passive ‘fertility.’ The word ‘fertility’ cannot evoke the patriarchally uncontrollable generativity and proliferation of flesh. Spiritual feminism celebrates the bounty of flesh in the same moment that it celebrates the earth and the foods the earth produces in generous abundance” (p. 95).

Raphael also observes that, “where a woman’s embodiment is a manifestation of the Goddess that has a very different meaning than if that divinity were imaged as male…The Goddess, the earth, the female body are unified and charged with sacral powers for the transmutation of matter, for shape-shifting, and for the production of cosmogonic effluvia: blood, milk and water. This spiritual physiology of women is original but it is also subversive of and oppositional to its Western inheritance” (p. 76-77).

Monica Sjoo and Barbara Mor explain that, “Childbirth is a powerful drama and ritual” (p. 47). Ancient herstory is rooted in the generative powers of the female body. “…the facts of women’s experience of life are primordial. It is woman who goes through the sacred transformations in our own body and psyche—the mystery-changes of menstruation, pregnancy, birth, and the production of milk…Women’s mysteries are blood-transformation mysteries: the experience of female bodily transformations of matter. Matter: the mud: the Mother. She transforms herself.” (Sjoo & Mor, p. 50-51)

In this recent poem, composed spontaneously while standing in the woods, I am interested to see how I made the world-body connection somewhat unconsciously in this “theapoetical” experience…

Sept 2013 021

Observation of the day yesterday: bumblebees on gigantically tall thistles behind the deck.

I stand
on the body of the Goddess
I sit on her bones
I breathe
her breath
Spirit of Life
moving through me
Her voice
sings in my blood
stars shine in my veins
my heartbeat
a drum
tuned to the core
of the planet
my womb
pulled by the tide
my rhythms
guided

Sept 2013 004

Delicate plant growing determinedly from strong rock.

by a distant moon
my cells springing
from hers
my heartsong
strummed
by ancient fingers
my passion
lit by wisdom
from within and without
my hope
kindled
each day
with my breath, blood, and pulse
I pray
I stand
on the body of the Goddess
I sit on her bones
I breathe
the breath of her lungs
I am one of her own…

Sept 2013 033

Bee and butterfly hanging out together.

One of the most profound elements of Goddess spirituality is its affirmation of and respect for women’s bodies and reproductive processes. In this affirmation, we can find a degree of overlap between feminist spirituality and process philosophy. As Carol Christ explains, “Process philosophy shares with feminist theology and thealogy a common interest in restoring the body and the world body, disparaged and denied in classical theism. What process philosophy has frequently failed to recognize is that restoring the body and the world body has enormous consequences for women. A feminist process paradigm will make feminist insight an integral part of process thinking. A feminist process paradigm will also ensure that process philosophers understand the body, the world body, and the divine body in physical terms and not simply as metaphysical concepts” (She Who Changes, p. 199). Christ also asks a profoundly meaningful question, “Is the source of the theological mistakes of classical theism a rejection of embodied life that begins with rejection of the female body? In other words, are the six theological mistakes embedded in a way of thinking that is inherently anti-female?” (200). She suggests that the answer is yes, that these theological mistakes are intimately tied up, “in denial of the changing body and the changing world, which is rooted in a way of thinking that is inherently anti-female” (She Who Changes, p. 200).

While, like thealogy, process thinking is grounded in experience, the emphasis on philosophical thinking can contribute to a lack of full engagement with the real world. In thealogy many quickly realize that it is a spirituality better lived than analyzed: “Don’t just read about the Goddess, LOVE HER, listen to Her, reflect Her as the Earth and Moon reflect the Sun.  Don’t just study Nature, put your hands in the dirt, your feet on the forest trail, turn your face to the wind and breathe Nature in and out of your lungs.  Feel the connection.  No books required.” (Esra Free, Wicca 404: Advanced Goddess Thealogy, 2007)

Sept 2013 018

Accidentally got this “take off” picture and I love it because of the pollen-laden legs!

Categories: Goddess, nature, poems, spirituality, thealogy, theapoetics, thesis, woodspriestess | 3 Comments

Woodspriestess: Earth’s Symphony

Divine hum 20130831-190026.jpg
inner rhythm
insect chorus
bee priestesses.

Butterfly dance
leaf artist
heart beat.

Inhale
exhale
in time
with the symphony
of the Earth.

I wrote this in June after an afternoon woodsvisit during which I felt very conscious of the constant “hum” of the woods. So much living being done there. Yesterday, I noticed that some of the tiny flowers of summer that I photographed recently are humming with bees now and so the time felt right to finally share this poem. It makes me sad that in recent years seeing a bee has become like a special message or a special treat, rather than commonplace. It was good to see them buzzing and zooming and landing on these little faintly purple flowers.

At the same time that I wrote the poem, I also wrote the following:

I’m struggling with trust right now, disappointment, overwhelm, overcommitment. Twin pulls of longing. The desire to rest, draw inward, pull away, and be uninvolved and the desire to be committed, connected, involved, helpful, and impactful. These twin pulls are part of my monthly cycle, the ebb and flow of creativity and energy, and I’m learning to work within those cycles. To not make permanent changes, but also not to ignore legitimate calls for change, action, growth, and pruning away deadwood…

I’m definitely hanging on to work that might be finished. I’m hanging on with the desire to please, the stay connected, to give back, to honor experience, to be truthful, honest, authentic, rhythmic, wise, healing, compassionate, connected, whole, peaceful. Not exhausted…

Some things have changed in my life since I wrote this and I’m feeling more balanced and satisfied again. My grandma’s death has had a long-reaching effect on the whole family this year.

On the same woodsvisit in June, I also spoke this aloud…

You know what you need to do.
You know what you want. 20130831-190014.jpg
You know what you can offer.

When you’re angry
you need to say so
don’t let it build up
don’t let it simmer and fester
don’t let it lead to resentment and bitterness
let the pressure valve open.

Take care of yourself
be your own best friend
acknowledge dichotomies
dualism
paradoxes…

sit with them both
explore their edges
feel their contours
let rough places
surprise you
smooth out what you can
and always look 20130831-190019.jpg
for the glitter of buried treasure
hidden gems
unexpected lessons
and brief flashes of wisdom.

Focus.
focus and be
know and love
try and try again
apologize when necessary
say no when you need to
and say yes when you need to
balancing twin demands
with as much skill as you can muster
and with as much self-compassion
as you can excavate from your depths…

In other news, this is the two hundredth post on this blog (I’m over 800 on my other one–yikes!). I read once that consistent blogging produces a “significant body of work,” and it is totally true. Writing here has shaped my ideas, my thealogy, my plans for the future, and also my identity, as such, as a writer and artist (it was really hard not to put those two in quotes! Notice I didn’t also say “poet”…)

Thanks for reading, following, sharing, commenting, and encouraging! 🙂

20130831-190006.jpg

Categories: nature, poems, theapoetics, woodspriestess, writing | Leave a comment

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