Monthly Archives: September 2013

Be Still

Posted on September 29, 2013 by Molly

My beautiful new moonstone ring!

Be still and know that I am she

She who kisses your eyelids with sunshine
Blesses your brow with raindrops
Lifts cares from your shoulders

She who rises with the sun
And who holds the night sky
She who holds you firmly
While spinning in space

Rooted
Grounded

Drawing it up
Feeling it settle in your belly and heart and bones

She who cradles eternity in her broad arms
And can never be lost.

One of the things I realized while at the Gaea Goddess Gathering this year was that not everything has to be a story. I don’t have to turn everything think about into a blog post. I spend a lot of time looking at the world through blogger eyes, apparently, and I was surprised how often I thought or said, “I have a blog post about this” or, “I’m going to put this in a blog post” or “I have a draft post on my blog related to this.” I kind of started to get on my own nerves with it, though I also kind of started to see it as a joke too. Right before we left for our trip, my husband finished cutting, shaping, polishing, and setting a beautiful moonstone that we found during our trip to California into a ring for me. The stone was set a little high and I worried what if I lose it. He said it would be okay and he could make another, this would be kind of trial run (for his stone-setting skills). Well, at some point on Saturday night I DID lose it. I was pretty horrified. Though it is tiny and it was ridiculous of me, I wandered all around looking for it. I have a good “finding power” usually in that if I am still for a moment and focus on the item in question, I often then go to exactly where it is. After fruitless wandering, I decided to do this. I stood in the sunshine and collected my energy. Then, I walked until I got to a spot that said “stop” to me. I stood there with my eyes closed and the sun shining on my face and I thought…again…”if I look down and there it is, this will make a great story.” Instead, I got the poem above. And, when I looked down, there was no moonstone.

Some time ago, made a very, very tiny pocket altar to carry in my purse. I searched all over for a little rose quartz goddess of Willendorf sculpture that I knew I had and wanted to include in the tiny altar. I was not able to find it. After returning from the GGG and having the insight that I’d been WAY too attached to the previous year’s experience to fully appreciate the current year, I decided to go down to my woods and untie the medicine bundle I’d made during last year’s GGG. I thought about doing this before leaving and I really wish I would have. It felt like both a figurative and literal “untying” of the experience from last year and an unbinding my life, my attachments. It was a beautiful experience to be in the woods at sunrise, unbinding my bundle and letting go. And, there in the bundle was that tiny rose quartz goddess. I guess I did get my story 😉

After my unbinding ritual, I walked slowly back to the house feeling light and contemplative. Inside, before anyone else woke up, I typed up all of my reflections and insights from this year’s GGG. I felt integrated, settled, whole, and at peace. I went to do laundry and when I was in the room, I thought of something else to include in my list (which was going to be a later blog post). I returned to my screen where the insightful note had been waiting for me and it was gone. Never to be recovered. I could NOT believe it. All my insights! All my wisdom! Gone! I have to start over…But, then I really just had to laugh (and cry a little), because here was another insight, another lesson, another hiccup in my story. And, not everything has to be a blog post after all….

The tie that bind—the wrappings from my medicine bundle from 2012 and a piece of amber from 2013 left in a broken goddess bowl in a nook in the rocks.

Everything lost is found again…

Categories: GGG, poems, ritual, spirituality, theapoetics | 1 Comment

Moonpriestess

Posted on September 26, 2013 by Molly

Moonmaiden
Moonmother
Moonpriestess

She tilts her face to the sky
she opens her arms wide
she draws it down
clean
healing
holy moonlight
enlivening her being
lightening her footsteps
and guiding her path

Moon guide
moon guardian
shining one
sacred spirit
we call upon you
for healing
for wisdom
for inspiration
for guidance

You connect us
in sacred rhythm
to the heartbeat
of the planet
the pull
of the tides
the pulse
of our blood.

We hope
we laugh
we sing
we pray
we dance
by your light
in your rhythm
we drum
in your sacred power

Keeper of ancient wisdom
witness to unfathomable eons
may we be forever
inspired by our connection to you
enlivened by your wisdom
and guided by your truth

Moonpriestess
Moonmama
Moon maiden

Thank you
blessed be.

This was the second of two poems/prayers that I wrote before leaving for the Gaea Goddess Gathering. During the festival the moon was full and beautiful and as it crested over the trees at the top of the ridge where the main rituals and drum circles were held, it literally felt like it was energizing the circle. We also noticed a cool morning effect during which the full moon and sunrise could be witnessed at the same time.

And, the following morning I took a misty morning, sunrise stroll around the lake with my sister-in-law. During last year’s GGG, I was too focused on recovering from my hornet sting to really connect to the land. This year, I didn’t expect to connect with the land, since I’m already so connected to my own land, but I connected anyway. The lake is beautiful in the morning sunrise and so was Venus Sanctuary (a little meadow near the lake).

Categories: blessings, GGG, Goddess, invocations, liturgy, moontime, nature, poems, prayers, priestess, spirituality, theapoetics | 1 Comment

Woodspriestess: Brigid

Posted on September 25, 2013 by Molly

Brigid
She of the Sacred Oak
She of the Sacred Flame
She who ignites our creativity
and who forges our passions.

Sacred smith
shaping lives
in the cauldron of destiny
healing
tending
guarding
loving

She who spills forth
in the language of poetry
and falling leaves
She who flickers from the candle’s flame
and the blacksmith’s coal
She whose hands open to receive new life and new ideas
She who can be called upon
in any hour
of any day

Brigid
Sacred Guardian
keeper of flame
hope and hearts.

You are summoned to us
to enliven our work
to guide our steps
and to inspire our message.

May it be so.

Brigid is a Triple Goddess of Fire: the fire of poetic inspiration and creative voice, the fire of health and fertility, and the fire of metalwork and crafts.

Brigid is an ancient Irish goddess later syncretized into the Christian saint Brigit. Her abbey was referred to as the Church of the Sacred Oak, the word for which later evolved into modern day Kildare. Her sacred wells are usually located near sacred oak trees, sometimes referred to as “clootie” trees, in which pilgrims hang prayers, blessings, wishes, and requests for healing. When I decided to be a merchant at this year’s Gaea Goddess Gathering at Camp Gaea in Kansas, I knew I wanted to have something affordable to offer at my booth that would connect to Brigid, the honored Goddess this year. I decided to make a simple “Sacred Oak” pendant with the idea that it would help the wearer to carry her healing presence throughout their day and “hang” their wishes upon her sacred oak whenever they want! The red cord represents her sacred flame.

I’ve started a new etsy shop with a broader focus than the birth/motherhood oriented focus of my original Talk Birth shop. I’ll be maintaining both shops as sister shops though and migrating some of the items from it into my new one.

I have quite a bit to say about this year’s GGG, but I’m saving that for another post! (which will hopefully take less than a year to write…)

Brigid’s Temple at the GGG

Categories: blessings, GGG, Goddess, poems, prayers, readings, spirituality, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 2 Comments

Gaea Goddess Gathering: Listen to the wise woman….

Posted on September 13, 2013 by Molly

Mini mamapriestess sculpture I made to take with me for my medicine bundle.

Last summer after I finished my priestess certification and I’d been facilitating women’s retreats and circles for about four years, I got a wild idea to go to a womanspirit or goddess festival of some kind. I did a google search and found one that sounded great—the Gaea Goddess Gathering–and it was happening in just two weeks. Imagine my surprise to then look at the bottom of the screen and see that it was located only a five-hour drive from me, just over the border into Kansas. I decided it was “meant to be.” My mom and a friend signed up with me (and my toddler daughter) and we packed up my van and went! The night before we left on our adventure, I sat down at the kitchen table and felt a knife-like stinging pain on the back of my leg. I’d accidentally sat on a European giant hornet (these are not regular hornets, they are literally giant hornets about two inches long).

Sting before I left.

Though it became hot and swollen and terribly painful, we set forth anyway. I asked for input on Facebook and did google research and started putting benadryl cream on it, even though I usually go with home remedies over medical-model remedies. It got worse and worse, eventually running from my hip to my knee and wrapped around my entire leg so that two thirds of my thigh was sting-area and the difference in size between my legs was noticeable through clothing. During the festival, as I watched myself get worse and worse and people kept making remarks about needing epi-pens and maybe I should go to the hospital, I decided to dispense with the benadryl and listen to the wise women instead. My friend found plantain and made me a poultice. The cook gave me baking soda that I applied in a paste. I went to a ceremony that involved a healing ritual with sound and a priestess in a tent beat a drum over me as I lay there on my stomach. After a little Reiki healing, she then leaned very, very close to my ear and said quietly, “are you taking good enough care of yourself? You give and give and it is time to receive. You need to be taken care of too.” And, I cried.

Sting after arriving. I didn’t take any pictures of it at the worst. It got about twice as bad as this. Every time I thought it could not possible get worse, it got twice as bad!

I came out of the tent and laid on a bench and women I didn’t know came and put their hands on my back and made me tinctures of strange plants they found in the herb garden and I drank it even though it almost made me gag. Another woman I didn’t know rubbed my back and though I couldn’t even see her face, she leaned close to my ear and said, “sometimes life stings you. Your friends, your family, being a parent, taking care of your children. It stings sometimes. Things people say without meaning to sting you. You’re sensitive, Sometimes it stings a lot and you worry that you’re not good enough. I see you with your baby. You are such a good mother.” And, I cried again, lying there on bench in the middle of nowhere with my dress pulled up and my red, sore, swollen, horrible thigh covered with a poultice of mysterious weeds, surrounded by women I didn’t know, but who were caring for me. And, I got better. By the time I got home, the sting was almost totally healed.

As soon as I returned home, I made a list, intending to develop it into a blog post about everything I’d learned at this gathering of women. The list languished in my drafts folder and the wheel of the year continued to turn and now it is September again and next week, some friends and I will be hopping back in my van and heading back to the GGG for this year’s festival. I decided the blog post will never get “developed” into the post I had intended, but that I can still share my list anyway. I’m also writing now because I’m going to go ahead and give myself a week off from blogging and I wanted to post some sort of explanation as to why. I’m going to focus on getting ready for the festival (I’m selling jewelry while there too!) and hanging out with my family (and, oh yeah, grading all the papers that are due this Sunday night!).

So, what did I learn at the GGG?

I have a lot to learn
Likewise, I know more than I give myself credit for—I am both more skilled than I may think and less skilled than I’d like to be.
I want to be more confident
I need to always remember to look for a wise woman when I need help. And, that allowing myself to be cared for by strangers is a surprisingly powerful experience.
I am much more quickly judgmental than I realized or like to admit—I judge the book by its cover and assess “worth” by appearance more often than I thought and I disappointed myself with that. I learned that ALL women have hidden gifts and I was surprised over and over again what people had to offer, that their appearance might not have suggested.
My body knows how to heal (I’ve learned this before, also from a bug)
It was great to have just one-on-one time with my little girl. She just wants to be with me. I didn’t have to cook/do laundry or anything else. I just toted her around which is exactly what she needs/wants (*note from this year: she still wants exactly this and I’m looking forward to giving it to her).
My mom is incredibly creatively gifted. And, I’m lucky to be around so many creative women in my own community. They have awesome gifts!
I don’t need to do everything—other people have their own talents and I don’t have to “do it all,” all of the time.
But by the same token, I don’t have to be good at everything and it is still okay to do things and be bad at them, but still try. (However, it also good to let other people have their specialties/share their gifts. I don’t have to do it all.)
I can be open to receive.
I can be a singer! Perform in a group! Feel awesome!
Once this started, I knew I’d made the right choice to come after all!
Ditto drummer!
Explanation of the two points above which also connect to the one about not having to do everything and yet it also being okay to try. One of the sessions at the festival was the “GGG Soul Singers.” One of the women taught a large group of us several cool songs. During the special dinner that night, we got up together with sound equipment and everything and performed our songs. Everyone was yelling and cheering and clapping and it was great. So much fun! I’m a terrible singer, I know that, but that night I felt like I was amazing. And, I learned that being terrible at something doesn’t mean you can’t do it anyway and enjoy yourself. I’m looking forward to doing this again this year! At this festival I was captivated by these massive community drums the women had. Large enough to be played by four or even more women at once, I absolutely loved them. Even though I didn’t know what I was doing, I tried, and discovered I could indeed do it. I could drum and sing and keep up with the group. When I got home, I decided I must have a drum like this and spent way too much money and ordered one online. And, even though I’m tone-deaf and “non-musical,” I can play it. And, I’m still amazing, whether I really am or not!
I felt both more and less competent—related to knowing a lot and yet having a lot to learn, I discovered that I’m a pretty good ceremonialist, a lot better than I’d given myself credit for, but that some other people are way better than me (and others are not. What matters is trying).
Intense stairs from the dining hall and lodging to the “ridge” where ceremonies took place. Navigating these was NO FUN with that sting on my leg! But, isn’t my tiny girl cute setting off on her own and heading on up?!
I was acknowledged/recognized as priestess/clergy to my own circle of women and it felt very good to be seen in that way. I’m trying to be/offer/bring something to the local area that still feels tender and vulnerable in myself. I lack some confidence. Want to build it! And, yet, I do it anyway. I’m brave! Maybe I’m not as skilled or musical or awesome as I could be, but I’m pretty darn good and…at least I TRY!
Want family to be clear priority. Family harmony is a top goal. I want to make sure to give them my good stuff too! Don’t save my passion and enthusiasm for “others” only!

When I got home from this festival, I was so inspired that I planned and facilitated a pretty great nighttime, firelit “sagewoman” ceremony in a teepee (with drumming on my new community drum) for the wise women of my own community. As a ritualist/ceremonialist, I learned from the GGG-experience that ambiance really, really matters in offering a cool ritual.

Since last year, I’ve developed my ceremonialist skills even further and last month received an additional supplemental ordination from the American Priestess Council. I’m almost three years into my D.Min program, I’ve taken advanced coursework in ritual design as well as pastoral counseling, liturgy, the role of the priestess, ethics, history, and so forth. At this time last year, I was struggling with whether or not it was “okay” for me to own the Priestess identity I felt “called” into and at the GGG I was seen and heard into this identity particularly by my friend and also by my mom. It turns out it is okay for me to serve others as a Priestess and to claim that title with authenticity even though I’m not as perfect and amazing as I feel like I should be (I’m also a blogger for SageWoman magazine and I’m currently working on a post called who does she think SHE is, that is about exactly this tension).

Some more pictures:

Henna feet! From the woman who did this for me, I learned the phrase: “sparkles are my favorite color.”

Medicine bundle! This was the best class ever. The woman brought piles and piles of random and awesome stuff and it was all free to choose what you wanted for your bundle. How cool is this face?!

She also had simple clay goddesses for us to paint and attach as well as we could.

Pensive little child gazing back at the stairs up which she just journeyed.

Back home demo’ing a beautiful sarong gifted to my by my seeing friend!

What’s this…

…I hear…big DRUMS!

When I got home, I was inspired to make some new sculptures and my husband cut a lovely gemstone and made a pendant.

Here I go again! I wonder what lessons await me this year…

—

Crossposted at Talk Birth

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Categories: community, family, friends, GGG, Goddess, priestess, retreat, ritual, spirituality, womanspirit, women, women's circle | 7 Comments

Woodspriestess: Blood Ties

Posted on September 10, 2013 by Molly

The blood of many species
swirls around me
The blood of many mothers
runs through me
The blood of many generations
comes from me

The blood of earth
feeds me
The blood of the Goddess
holds me

We dance together
in an ancient ecstasy
blood deep
bone rich
holy, potent, and pure.

The blood of creation
The blood of inspiration
The blood of sacrifice
and renewal…

Categories: Goddess, moontime, nature, poems, spirituality, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 1 Comment

Goddess Body, World Body

Posted on September 9, 2013 by Molly

This post is reprinted from my column at the SageWoman blogs.

“Here is your sacrament
Take. Eat. this is my body
this is real milk, thin, sweet, bluish,
which I give for the life of the world…
Here is your bread of life.
Here is the blood by which you live in me.”
–Robin Morgan (in Life Prayers, p. 148)

“All religion is about the mystery of creation. If the mystery of birth is the origin of religion, it is women that we must look for the phenomenon that first made her aware of the unseen power…Women’s awe at her capacity to create life is the basis of mystery. Earliest religious images show pregnancy, rather than birth and nurturing, as the numinous or magical state” (Monica Sjoo and Barbara Mor, The Great Cosmic Mother, p. 71)

I am working on a thesis project about birth as a spiritual experience. As I collect my resources, the quotes above keep running through my head. Birth as the original sacrament. Breastfeeding as the original communion. Blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone, women transmute blood into breath, into being, into life for others.

Abrahamic theology in its root mythology, sets up the male body as “normal” as well neatly includes the notion that there is a divine hierarchy in which men are above women in value, role, and power. It also twists reality, by asserting that women come from men’s bodies, rather than the other way around. This inversion didn’t begin with Christianity, it has roots in more ancient mythology as well. Connected to the conversion of women’s natural creative, divine-like powers of the womb into the originators of sin and corruption, we readily see the deliberate inversion of the womb of the Goddess into the head of the father in the gulping down of Metis by Zeus and the subsequent birth of Athena from his head. Patriarchal creation myths rely heavily on biologically non-normative masculine creation imagery. I really appreciated the brief note from Sjoo in The Great Cosmic Mother that, “In later Hindu mysticism the egg is identified as male generative energy. Whenever you come upon something like this, stop and ponder. If it is absurdly inorganic—male gods ‘brooding on the waters’ or ‘laying eggs’—then you know you are in the presence of an original Goddess cosmology stolen and displaced by later patriarchal scribes” (p. 56).

Modern-day diet culture may actually be as potent an agent of female body control and manipulation as ancient church doctrine. And, where there are wounded, denied, oppressed, and suppressed female bodies, there is an exploited world body as well. Women who retain their “wild natures” see value in “wild nature,” rather than seeing nature as something to be dominated, exploited and controlled. Diet culture encourages this attitude of domination of bodies and restraining of physical, “earthy” impulses and needs—no wonder we see this same basic attitude of domination and control carried out in the macrocosm as well. Womb ecology reflects world ecology, world ecology reflects womb ecology…

According to Melissa Raphael in her book Thealogy and Embodiment, “Spiritual feminism consecrates flesh as something more than passive ‘fertility.’ The word ‘fertility’ cannot evoke the patriarchally uncontrollable generativity and proliferation of flesh. Spiritual feminism celebrates the bounty of flesh in the same moment that it celebrates the earth and the foods the earth produces in generous abundance” (p. 95).

Raphael also observes that, “where a woman’s embodiment is a manifestation of the Goddess that has a very different meaning than if that divinity were imaged as male…The Goddess, the earth, the female body are unified and charged with sacral powers for the transmutation of matter, for shape-shifting, and for the production of cosmogonic effluvia: blood, milk and water. This spiritual physiology of women is original but it is also subversive of and oppositional to its Western inheritance” (p. 76-77).

Monica Sjoo and Barbara Mor explain that, “Childbirth is a powerful drama and ritual” (p. 47). Ancient herstory is rooted in the generative powers of the female body. “…the facts of women’s experience of life are primordial. It is woman who goes through the sacred transformations in our own body and psyche—the mystery-changes of menstruation, pregnancy, birth, and the production of milk…Women’s mysteries are blood-transformation mysteries: the experience of female bodily transformations of matter. Matter: the mud: the Mother. She transforms herself.” (Sjoo & Mor, p. 50-51)

In this recent poem, composed spontaneously while standing in the woods, I am interested to see how I made the world-body connection somewhat unconsciously in this “theapoetical” experience…

Observation of the day yesterday: bumblebees on gigantically tall thistles behind the deck.

I stand
on the body of the Goddess
I sit on her bones
I breathe
her breath
Spirit of Life
moving through me
Her voice
sings in my blood
stars shine in my veins
my heartbeat
a drum
tuned to the core
of the planet
my womb
pulled by the tide
my rhythms
guided

Delicate plant growing determinedly from strong rock.

by a distant moon
my cells springing
from hers
my heartsong
strummed
by ancient fingers
my passion
lit by wisdom
from within and without
my hope
kindled
each day
with my breath, blood, and pulse
I pray
I stand
on the body of the Goddess
I sit on her bones
I breathe
the breath of her lungs
I am one of her own…

Bee and butterfly hanging out together.

One of the most profound elements of Goddess spirituality is its affirmation of and respect for women’s bodies and reproductive processes. In this affirmation, we can find a degree of overlap between feminist spirituality and process philosophy. As Carol Christ explains, “Process philosophy shares with feminist theology and thealogy a common interest in restoring the body and the world body, disparaged and denied in classical theism. What process philosophy has frequently failed to recognize is that restoring the body and the world body has enormous consequences for women. A feminist process paradigm will make feminist insight an integral part of process thinking. A feminist process paradigm will also ensure that process philosophers understand the body, the world body, and the divine body in physical terms and not simply as metaphysical concepts” (She Who Changes, p. 199). Christ also asks a profoundly meaningful question, “Is the source of the theological mistakes of classical theism a rejection of embodied life that begins with rejection of the female body? In other words, are the six theological mistakes embedded in a way of thinking that is inherently anti-female?” (200). She suggests that the answer is yes, that these theological mistakes are intimately tied up, “in denial of the changing body and the changing world, which is rooted in a way of thinking that is inherently anti-female” (She Who Changes, p. 200).

While, like thealogy, process thinking is grounded in experience, the emphasis on philosophical thinking can contribute to a lack of full engagement with the real world. In thealogy many quickly realize that it is a spirituality better lived than analyzed: “Don’t just read about the Goddess, LOVE HER, listen to Her, reflect Her as the Earth and Moon reflect the Sun. Don’t just study Nature, put your hands in the dirt, your feet on the forest trail, turn your face to the wind and breathe Nature in and out of your lungs. Feel the connection. No books required.” (Esra Free, Wicca 404: Advanced Goddess Thealogy, 2007)

Accidentally got this “take off” picture and I love it because of the pollen-laden legs!

Categories: Goddess, nature, poems, spirituality, thealogy, theapoetics, thesis, woodspriestess | 3 Comments

Inanna’s Ascent

Posted on September 5, 2013 by Molly

Inanna’s Ascent

Tiny goddesses as gifts for my friends. See the crack in the chalice? We all go through the fire and get cracked by life, but that’s how the light gets in!

by Deanna Emerson

I have seen the piercing eyes
of the dark goddess
as she stands naked in the silent shadows
planting the seeds of vision
reached into the arms
of my deepest sorrow and
looked into the eyes of death
yet the world dance did not cease.
By the light of the waning moon
I have seen the faces
of the shining ones and
taking the sword of wisdom
cut the cords that bind me.

Altar space. The untidy red strips are for the hopes/fears for the “Kali” pot (I use quotation marks because its original identity was as a bean pot from an antique store! :))

Armed only with love
I have entered the healing
power of the moon
drawing it down around me
to enter the sacred womb
of the dark goddess and
turning pain into power

I have returned.

(In Casting the Circle by Diane Stein.)

During our last Rise Up class, we focused a lot on the dark goddess and the idea of endarkenment. There is wisdom and nurturance to be found in our dark places. We wrote down our fears and hopes and burned them in a “Kali” pot watching as the smoke transformed fear in the crucible of hopeful creation. The next day, I found this poem marked in one of my books and I wished I’d had it available to read during our class!

Categories: friends, Goddess, poems, quotes, retreat, ritual, spirituality, theapoetics, womanspirit, women's circle | 1 Comment

Woodspriestess: Earth’s Symphony

Posted on September 1, 2013 by Molly

Divine hum
inner rhythm
insect chorus
bee priestesses.

Butterfly dance
leaf artist
heart beat.

Inhale
exhale
in time
with the symphony
of the Earth.

I wrote this in June after an afternoon woodsvisit during which I felt very conscious of the constant “hum” of the woods. So much living being done there. Yesterday, I noticed that some of the tiny flowers of summer that I photographed recently are humming with bees now and so the time felt right to finally share this poem. It makes me sad that in recent years seeing a bee has become like a special message or a special treat, rather than commonplace. It was good to see them buzzing and zooming and landing on these little faintly purple flowers.

At the same time that I wrote the poem, I also wrote the following:

I’m struggling with trust right now, disappointment, overwhelm, overcommitment. Twin pulls of longing. The desire to rest, draw inward, pull away, and be uninvolved and the desire to be committed, connected, involved, helpful, and impactful. These twin pulls are part of my monthly cycle, the ebb and flow of creativity and energy, and I’m learning to work within those cycles. To not make permanent changes, but also not to ignore legitimate calls for change, action, growth, and pruning away deadwood…

I’m definitely hanging on to work that might be finished. I’m hanging on with the desire to please, the stay connected, to give back, to honor experience, to be truthful, honest, authentic, rhythmic, wise, healing, compassionate, connected, whole, peaceful. Not exhausted…

Some things have changed in my life since I wrote this and I’m feeling more balanced and satisfied again. My grandma’s death has had a long-reaching effect on the whole family this year.

On the same woodsvisit in June, I also spoke this aloud…

You know what you need to do.
You know what you want.
You know what you can offer.

When you’re angry
you need to say so
don’t let it build up
don’t let it simmer and fester
don’t let it lead to resentment and bitterness
let the pressure valve open.

Take care of yourself
be your own best friend
acknowledge dichotomies
dualism
paradoxes…

sit with them both
explore their edges
feel their contours
let rough places
surprise you
smooth out what you can
and always look
for the glitter of buried treasure
hidden gems
unexpected lessons
and brief flashes of wisdom.

Focus.
focus and be
know and love
try and try again
apologize when necessary
say no when you need to
and say yes when you need to
balancing twin demands
with as much skill as you can muster
and with as much self-compassion
as you can excavate from your depths…

In other news, this is the two hundredth post on this blog (I’m over 800 on my other one–yikes!). I read once that consistent blogging produces a “significant body of work,” and it is totally true. Writing here has shaped my ideas, my thealogy, my plans for the future, and also my identity, as such, as a writer and artist (it was really hard not to put those two in quotes! Notice I didn’t also say “poet”…)

Thanks for reading, following, sharing, commenting, and encouraging! 🙂