theapoetics

Woodspriestess: Chorus

Birdsong 20130429-135905.jpg
Heartsong
Bees buzz
Mindbuzz
Flowers bloom
Hopebloom

Interconnected
in a deep
magical
dance of life.

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Tulip tree is still blooming!

Spinning souls into being,
unfurling leaves,
beating my heart
and that of
mouse
chicken
dolphin
elephant
monkey
panther…

This animating force
that dances through the cosmos
speaking through our lips
hearing through our ears
touching our skin
creating through our hands
and bodies.

The lifepulse
of reality.
The skeins
of time and mystery.

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Sage is sneaking up out of the weedy grasses.

This beat
this dance
this beautiful rhythm
I waltz with it
and I sing
in its chorus…

(4/29/2013)

I’m feeling pretty beat. Wrung out. Exhausted. Tired. Strained. I still went down to the woods though and I still practiced yoga this afternoon. And, I’m still planning our women’s retreat for May 10th. These things should NOT be the first to go. I must uphold my commitment to these practices for my own well-being. Likewise with writing even this simple post—I “should” be doing something else, or should I? Doing this actually matters too.

At our craft workshop this last weekend, I lamented briefly to my husband that I hadn’t gotten everything done I’d hoped to do while there. Then, I noted that I had, in fact, finished reading two books, prepared for both of my college classes, graded 11 genograms and 4 papers, kept up with my online class (even though I had to drive up the road for the internet access), and made five new sculptures. And, oh yeah, I also ran a craft camp and took care of my three kids too. Perhaps I actually rock.

In addition, I published a brief post here and I woke from a nap humming with inspiration and wrote a blog post about Womenergy for my other blog:

…Womenergy moved humanity across continents, birthed civilization, invented agriculture, conceived of art and writing, pottery, sculpture, and drumming, painted cave walls, raised sacred stones and built Goddess temples. It rises anew during ritual, sacred song, and drumming together. It says She Is Here. I Am Here. You Are Here and We Can Do This. It speaks through women’s hands, bodies, and heartsongs. Felt in hope, in tears, in blood, and in triumph.

via Womenergy (Womanergy) | Talk Birth.

Here are some pictures of the sculptures I made while away:

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VBAC “Hope” mama.

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Cesarean “je donne” sculpture.

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Mamapriestess made with every scrap of remaining clay.

Experimented unsuccessfully with some A'kuba style sculptures. While I was originally excited about the potential, I am not a fan!

Experimented unsuccessfully with some A’kuba style sculptures. While I was originally excited about the potential, I am not a fan!

The opening poem was from yesterday, this was mine from today (I was lying on my back on the rocks):

April 2013 040
Hot sun
cool stone

restore me

body
mind
and soul

stilling
nurturing
holding
nourishing

granting peace
grace
and harmony.

Dog breath
on my face.
Surprise!

Categories: art, blessings, embodiment, nature, poems, spirituality, theapoetics, woodspriestess | Leave a comment

Woodspriestess: Pelvic Cradle

One hand on pelvic cradle April 2013 001
one hand on solid stone
I complete the energetic circle
that brought me into being

of this earth
on this earth
from this earth

my body woven with the mysteries
of time and space
my life connected
to those around me
human and nonhuman

closed eyes blessed by sunshine
body held in stone embrace
mind stilled
shoulders relaxed
heartbeat in my veins
matched to the pulse of Life itself

She is weaver
and web
I am weaver
and web
and this great, grand, unimaginable
tapestry of being
is holy and eternal
magnificent and microscopic

hand on pelvic cradle
hand on solid stone

energy flow
of cellular connection
unbreakable
in its potency
everchanging

hand on pelvic cradle
hand on solid stone

I draw in the breath of life
draw in my awareness of connection
to the intricate web of incarnation

Goddess is my name for
that which holds the whole
that which weaves the all
that which knows the story of the ages

hand on pelvic cradle
hand on solid stone

I feel the fire in my heart
the red thread in my veins and womb
connects me to women of all times and places
the breath of life in my lungs
the kiss of Earth along my spine…

(3/31/13)

I’m out-of-town right now and away from my sacred space in the woods. Luckily, I’m still surrounded by trees and beautiful countryside. It is hard sometimes when traveling to maintain my sense of connection/grounding/”real life” and so when I came across this poem from last month, I knew it was the perfect time to post it. I needed the reminder of my own connection and groundedness!

Last night the full moon was gorgeous! I felt like gathering some women and having a ritual and I sure wanted some drums! We’re staying at a conventionally religious center though and while there are some kindred spirits in residence there are also those who would look very askance at rituals in the moonlight. So, I went out alone with my little altar items from home and sat under the moon for a while, admiring it, saying more goodbyes to my grandma, and trying to soak in some peace from what had been a pretty stressful and exhausting day.

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Sculpture made with a rock from “my” own woods

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I like this picture that is hanging in the church where I go for wireless internet access once a day while I’m here. I would make it say “Nature IS Creation” though! πŸ˜‰

Categories: blessings, invocations, liturgy, nature, poems, prayers, readings, theapoetics, womanspirit | 2 Comments

Sunday Sabbath: Gather Life

Gather sunlight April 2013 019
gather wind
gather rain
gather earth

Scoop it up
press it into my body
soak it into my skin
embed it in my cells
play with it
wrestle with it
dance with it

This planet speaks in whispers April 2013 024
it speaks in roars
it speaks through me
and around me

Deep, dark
bright, beautiful world

Bathe my senses
in your presence
hold my body in your embrace
touch my spirit
that I might remember how to sing
and remain able to breathe
with clarity
and certainty
of enoughness

Gather hope
and gather pain
gather tears
and gather laughter

Gather it up
gather it in
hold it close
take a deep whiff
stare into its eyes
this is life.

(4/20/13)

I spoke this poem yesterday afternoon after my bad mood day. When I came back inside, I enjoyed a great post from The Allergic Pagan about Panentheism. I think whatever else I might call my spiritual leanings, I would probably be classed by others as a panentheist. Based on this woodspriestess experience of mine I’m actually thinking of changing my dissertation topic to a combination of ecopsychology-theapoetics-thealogy of the body, rather than solely about thealogy and the body.

Through a panentheistic understanding of divinity, Neopaganism seeks to unite Zoe and bios again, to reconnect the divine and nature, the eternal cycle of Life with all of our particular lives and deaths. This union is not a static identification, as in pantheism, but a dynamic dance between the two, Zoe and bios, Goddess and god…

via Panentheism: The Dancer and the Dance | The Allergic Pagan.

“In all things of nature, there is something of the marvelous.” –Aristotle

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Categories: nature, poems, prayers, sabbath, theapoetics, woodspriestess | Leave a comment

Thursday Thealogy: Theapoetics

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Sculpture made by my six-year-old and named, “The Cutest Goddess in the World.”

Turkeys gobble
birds sing
plum petals fall
raindrops kiss stone

take a moment and sit
hear, taste,
smell, and touch
the very field of creation.

(4/16/13)

I’m having such a hard time lately focusing enough to write coherent posts. I flit from site to site, idea to idea, and just can’t settle my mind enough to say what I want to say. I feel distracted, preoccupied, and unfocused. Maybe I need to go to the woods more often. As it is, I sit here with my little stack of books: Midwifing Death, What Dying People Want, and Sacred Dying. They came too late for me to really use them in any sort of helpful way for my mom or grandma, but at least I’ll have them in case I know anyone else who needs them. I am a tiny librarian in my own way and it is books that I turn to when I need help or want to help. They’re what I offer. Books are my first and longest-lasting love. I also sit by a pile of books waiting to be turned over as I plan my spring women’s retreat and write two assignments for my OSC class on Ritual and Liturgy. My heart doesn’t quite feel in that though either—too many variables, too much unknown…

There is so much we don’t know 20130416-140924.jpg
so many possibilities we can’t imagine
maybe that is what I touch
in the dreamtime
and the woodstime
maybe I am surrounded
in all times
and all ways
by those who have gone before me

here, in the woods
I touch
and am touched
by something
something that kisses my eyelids
with a breeze
that blesses my brow
with a raindrop
that cradles my body
with stone
that fills my senses April 2013 029
with pleasure and awareness
and that connects me
to the great, grand whole of creation

and I know that I am a part of Her
and She is a part of me
forever.

Though my individual thread might end
my part of the tapestry is eternal
and I dance right now
with the lifeblood
of purpose and connection.

(4/16/13)

A few days ago, I sat in the woods and thought about death and life and ancestors and children. While I sat and spoke into my little recorder, the plum petals fell steadily all around me like snow. It was beautiful and soothing.

April 2013 071

In my piles of books are also those which I want to put back on the shelf, but that are waiting because they had sections I marked to share. One of them—a really excellent anthology of essays by priestesses (or “sibyls”) called Voices of the Goddess—contained a section that made me think of my own theapoetical experiences. Though, I then feel self-conscious, embarrassed, or somehow “arrogant” or something for identifying with it—like, who do I think I am?!

The Goddess grants her gifts of creativity in many ways, but the personal invocation, the inspired lyrical utterance is always nearest to the surface. This poetic wellspring is part of the sibylline legacy and there is no denying it. It speaks the language of the blood and belly as well as the language of the crystalline stars. It is a weaving song that meshes heaven and earth with the underworld. Poetry is the mouthpiece of the metamemory, the deep, ecstatic memory of an oral tradition that remembered the Goddess daily in domestic and tribal rituals. Since there are not Goddess rituals or liturgies from former times, we have written our own, often drawing directly upon the raw material of personal experience…Poetry can both bless and uproot, it can extol or refute. It is the true voice of the Goddess speaking through her sibyls. Personal or prophetic, poetry is communication with a deeper level of understanding. It is a gateway for the Goddess to pass through.

–Caitlin Matthews in Voices of the Goddess

While I wouldn’t venture to call myself “prophetic,” I do experience something personally very important to me there in the woods, something I’ve previously referred to as, “Entering into radical relationship with the Goddess through art, poetry, and nature…” or,Β theapoetics.Β When I wrote about this topic for Feminism and Religion, I included this poem:

Goddess Direct

Goddess, where are you?
I am within you and around youApril 2013 037
in your heart that seeks answers
and connection

Goddess, do you exist?
Yes, I am as real as your own heartbeat.
I am here in the bird’s song
I am here in the breeze that touches your face
I am as solid as the stone you sit on

I am that which weaves the Whole.
I am that which holds the All.
I am that which flows,
dancing lightly
through the heartbeat of every form on this earth

I am within you and around you
beneath you and above you
I am your home

I am that which you seek
I am that which you know
And, I love deeply, richly, and well.

via Theapoetics By Molly | Feminism and Religion.

I still don’t think of myself as writing poetry and certainly not as a “poet.” These words are something that just comes out. Something that emerges. Something that is created in a very different manner than the rest of my writing. It actually feels like an altered state of consciousness that “writes itself” and when I go back to listen to what I said, I’m often surprised or feel like I’m listening to someone else speak. That’s theapoetics. Go sit in the woods and see what happens when you open your mouth! πŸ™‚

Categories: Goddess, nature, poems, prayers, priestess, spirituality, theapoetics, Thursday Thealogy, womanspirit, woodspriestess, writing | 2 Comments

Woodspriestess: Grandmother Prayer

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Today we texted her this picture, because that is instant–no waiting for mail.

Prayer for my grandmother
sweet wind carry it
hope guard it
love keep it
peace bless it

carry my gratitude
straight to her heart
fold it into her hands
nestle it in her body
where it will take root
and blossom

may she know she is loved
she is appreciated
she is held

in the great grand web of incarnation
the unfurling of genetic memory
in shared silence and story
in unfolding legacy

Peace hold her
love enfold her
life release her…

(4/15/13)

When I found out last month that my grandmother was sick, I immediately knew I needed to write her a letter. It was hard to figure out what to say and how to start and so I waited. Finally, Sunday night after getting a not-promising text update from my mom, I got a card and wrote in it instead—I think my problem had been in part related to trying to type it out. Handwriting worked. There were no pearls of wisdom or geniusApril 2013 076, but there were words from the heart and in my own sloppy-writing hand (it has always bugged her that I don’t have better handwriting!). I got the kids all to sign it in the morning and trudged it out to the mailbox and started fretting that it won’t make it to her in time. I went to the woods and spoke aloud. As I spoke, I became aware that I was wearing a sweater she knit for me and felt that in this way we were each wrapped in a prayer of love and thanksgiving.

The mayapples are unfolding their little umbrellas in the forest and today I spied some still-green-edged dogwood blossoms getting ready to put on a show.
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Categories: blessings, death, family, nature, prayers, theapoetics | 2 Comments

Woodspriestess: Change

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Little sculpture made by my six-year-old (“Cutest Goddess in the World,” he titled it) and a rue anemone)

Change
bright, clear,
clean, hot
messy, wild,
wonderful, scary
change

the wheel of life
keeps turning
the thread of our heartbeats
keeps weaving
the tapestry of creation
keeps unfurling
the heart of the planet
keeps praying
strength
grace
indwelling joy

hope on our lips
a song in our hearts
a prayer in our hands

the hum of blood in our veins
the only rapture we need…

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Another goddess hiding in the rocks!

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Memorial tree getting closer and closer to a full flower!

 

Categories: blessings, nature, poems, prayers, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 4 Comments

Woodspriestess: Nourishment

I seek nourishment

Physical and emotional

Womb-deep hunger

Relentless
Hot, fiery breath

Feeding me

(4/8/2013)

April 2013 035

Categories: poems, prayers, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 5 Comments

Woodspriestess: Grandmother

She trails pink fingers across the sky 20130407-151104.jpg
scoops up her stories
and offers them with smiles

She plans lunch and words
and a graceful exit
She has been an example
of living
the stardust of generations
has been knitted by her cells

She who has traveled far
She who has loved in her own way
She who has left her mark
on people, places, and things

She holds herself close now
feeling small and tired

Life’s sunset.

Quilted in bright colors
Sinking over hills of gold
and long dry valleys.

(3/31/13)

Several days ago I went to the woods at sunset, finally observing this time of day from my woodspace. As I began to speak into my little recorder, I was talking about the sunset, but somehow, it turned into a poem about my grandmother. As I’ve alluded to before, my grandmother is very sick. It has struck the family as a sudden surprise. To me, she has always seemed invincible. Small and mighty. Strong and determined. I’ve always been proud of her. If there is anything I learned from her, it is to do stuff. Don’t wait or wonder or wish, try it out anyway. She is a world traveler, my grandma. Traveling to new destinations including shortly after her recent diagnosis. When ziplining in Peru a few years ago, her children questioned her:

“I thought you weren’t supposed to do something like that with a medical condition?”

“What?” she replied, “I don’t have a medical condition.”

“What about your pacemaker?” they said

“Oh that, that’s no big deal. I just didn’t mention it to them.”

My mom is sad and consumed with this impending loss. I am peppered with distraction and overwhelmed with the swirl of life, home, work, and children, but beneath the surface of every day, I hear the ticking clock and I sense the poignancy of time. Life decisions seem more potent and urgent now. Approaching endings always seem to bring new perspective. My husband wants to quit his job after spending eight years doing the same thing and becoming less and less enriched by the experience. We have fears about leaping into something unknown, but we also know that it is more scary not to try…

April 2013 029

Categories: family, nature, poems, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 4 Comments

Woodspriestess: Sabbath Prayer

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Prayer
sweet wind carry it
stone hold it
earth receive it.

Root it
in my flesh
where the fire of my spirit
may ignite it.

Hopeful
graceful
patient
purposeful

Prayer.
Of love
of service
of indwelling joy.

(4/1/2013)

This weekend I went out-of-town for a faculty conference and so I missed making a woodsvisit for the first time this year! Unavoidable, but it still felt disappointing to have to let go of my record. I have several other overnight engagements coming up during the year, so this is the first of several woods absences. I collected some items for a little travel altar and on Thursday I took it to the woods with me to kind of set up a “link.”

20130407-165018.jpgMy Statement of Faith sculpture is made from a rock from the woods, soΒ in a sense I brought the woods/rocks with me and then “visited” them in the hotel room on Friday morning before heading out to my conference πŸ™‚

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I have more I’d like to say, but I’m really overwhelmed with work to catch up on and I just can’t spend the time on writing right now. So, I offer what I have to offer. May I recognize that I’m enough.

Categories: nature, poems, prayers, sabbath, sculpture, theapoetics, womanspirit, woodspriestess | Leave a comment

Woodspriestess: Nature’s Blessings

Blessed by wind 20130403-162339.jpg
and blessed by rain
blessed by love
and blessed by pain.

Blessed by tree
and blessed by land
open heart
and open hand.

Hopeful spirit
drawing near
Goddess presence
is felt here.

Open up
open wide
rest with courage
peace inside. 20130403-162408.jpg

Breathe in deep
feel heart beat
blessed stone
beneath feet.

Listen, watch
learn and more
today, tomorrow,
from the core.

Blessings of the earth
and soul
Nature’s blessings
keep us whole.

I’m not usually a rhyming type (at least in the woods. I have a tendency to annoy my kids by singing a little ditty at home that includes the phrase, “and it was rhyming time!”), but sometimes things surprise me and rhymes emerge after all! I’ve been missing my daily writing practice a lot. I hadn’t realized in full what it had added to my daily woodspractice. I’m writing more about this for my post for tomorrow. Today, I’m taking a day off from class work and I’m doing the other things that I want to do. I read to my kids, I played with my toddler, I packed for a trip, and got dinner started. I planned a gazillion blog post ideas. I made a baked sweet potato for my lunch. I haven’t checked in with my classes once and I think that is okay. Surely I deserve a day off from classwork, right?!

I also walked my labyrinth…

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Visited my baby’s memorial tree:

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Noticed the tulips’ progress:

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And, I’ve been working on a little travel altar to take on my trip. (no picture yet)

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Categories: blessings, chants, nature, poems, spirituality, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 2 Comments

Woodspriestess: Stoneflower

March 2013 139

Like flower growing from rock
the world is full of tiny, perfect mysteries.
Secrets of heart and soul and landscape
guarded tenderly
taking root in hard crevices
stretching forth
in impossible silence.

Sleeping
resting
waiting
watching
knowing
that all one needs
is a crack in stone
and a seed of possibility…

On Friday evening, when I went for an unexpected walk through the woods with my husband and daughter, we discovered something that delighted and thrilled me and seemed like a perfect symbol of what I’ve learned from my time in the woods this March. It was rock with a small, perfect flower growing out of it. Difficult to take a picture of there in the leaves, I was so stunned by its beauty that I could hardly leave it…

March 2013 140

The rock also had this cool swirly pattern that looked like a galaxy or universe, but in the picture looks more like a face!

Over the last 31 days, I entered this woodspace in many different ways. Angry, disappointed, sad, joyful, satisfied, tired, hopeful, prayerful, celebratory, creative, grieving. And, I left each day with a sense of inner peace and stillness, of quieted mind, restful body, and connected soul, if only for a few moments. While I’ve been maintaining my daily practice since January, what I’ve learned from the last 31 days of this blogging-every-day-project—the commitment I made to write each day about the changing tapestry of the woods each and every day of March—is deeper and broader than when I was going to the woods without the accountability of writing. While at times I’ve felt like I needed a break from feeling “forced” to write and laughed at myself over the self-imposed to-dos I too often layer upon myself, I’ve learned a lot. During this month I’ve learned that it is okay to be spiky, that it is okay to have a lot to write about and not a lot to write about. I’ve learned to do it anyway. I have learned about the value of this woodspriestess time as a spiritual practice. I’ve learned to move it forward in my day, to spend longer at it, and to make it a top priority. I have learned to pay attention and that I can always see something new. I have challenged myself to always see something new, to learn something new. I have learned that lessons come from sometimes the most surprising and unwelcome of experiences. I have noticed what shares the earth with me, the things that fly, the things that crawl, the things that walk. I’ve bonded with the trees. I’ve recalled that rocks sit around developing powers and wisdom. I’ve composed words I’ve gone on to use more publicly and in ritual.

I’ve realized that the spoken poetry of the forest is its own gift, its own language, its own way of exploring the world around me and that sitting March 2013 031on a rock with a recorder instead of at a computer or with a notebook, unlocks something creative in me in a unique way. I have meditated on the crone, the maiden, and the mother. I have asked questions about hopelessness and despair. I have listened. I have received answers. I have discovered questions. I have come to a more full understanding of my own place in the tapestry of life. I have had clarity and much as everything changes, I have yet to leave the woods with less clarity than that with which I entered. I’ve discovered ways in which my children can come with me and I’ve discovered ways in which children scatter my attention. I have blessed many sculptures. I have prayed for strength, safety, and guidance. I’ve asked for blessings on my work, tasks, and rituals. I have been ragged and I have danced. I have been forlorn. I have been buoyant and exuberant. And, I have watched it all. I have seen winter drift towards spring and then back towards winter and then back towards spring again. I have planned. I have actively witnessed and engaged in that invisible web of incarnation; consciously touched my thread in Her weaving. I have listened to my breath, felt my pulse, watched my thoughts, and gazed at the sky. I have held space. I have held hopefulness. I have held children. I have created art. I have been moved to tears. I have laughed. In this microcosm of the planet, I have touched eternity. I have tasted truth. I’ve discovered a means of touching my soul. I’ve cultivated an authentic and rich spiritual home and identity. I have been sheltered. I have listened and been listened to. I have heard and been heard. I have seen and been seen. I have known and been known. I have been witnessed into being and I have witnessed so carefully. I am a woodspriestess.

Thank you for the many blessings of this time and space. Thank you for witnessing me, thank you for hearing me, thank you for seeing me, thank you for helping me.

“As long as the Earth can make a spring every year, I can. As long as the Earth can flower and produce nurturing fruit, I can, because I’m the Earth. I won’t give up until the Earth gives up.” ~ Alice Walker March 2013 033

β€œThis little patch of earth and this little pile of stones; I can wash the dust off my face and skin, but this earth is in my bones” – Ralph McTell

“…A big rock is a good place to sit and worship, looking out at the world. That feeling you feel, when you see the woods, the ocean, a flower, is the first-fruits offering of worship. The natural world, not the [human]-made world, provides us the right proportions, the right perspective. By naming that for your children, you claim worship as a common human experience…” –Gina Bria (The Art of Family: Rituals, Imagination, and Everyday Spirituality, p. 73)

“The essence of the spiritual path lies only in the beauty of the ordinariness, in the mundane, and in the freedom of separation between the spiritual and the ordinary.” –Dr. Thynn Thynn

As I was speak-writing the above, I was suddenly jolted by seeing my dog chewing on one of my precious sculptures. I must have left her behind after taking pictures one day and not noticed. Luckily, she’s still okay!

March 2013 036I also paid special attention to the maple that grows there out of the priestess rocks, thinking of how it too was once a tiny seed that eventually split rock, strongly and intimately entwined with its landscape.

March 2013 027 And, connecting multiple experiences, today we found the tiniest and most delicate of small green plants growing in one of the drain pipes in our not-yet-fully-set-up aquaponics greenhouse.

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Felt like a sign that things will definitely grow here, whether we try or not!

March 2013 137

Tender green shoot in unlikely place
Tenacious tapestry of life
This weaving unfolding before my eyes
This is my religion.

Categories: nature, poems, quotes, spirituality, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 7 Comments

Woodspriestess: Dawn to Dusk

Darkness falls December 2012 011
entering sacred space
stepping from holy ground
to holy ground.
Recognize it.

Owl calls
moon rises
sun sets
small dog sits
leaves rustle
heart beats
blood flows
breathing in
breathing out…

Feeling the world spin
feeling the earth turn.
Watching her weaving at work
in the night.

(12/26/12)

This morning I experienced another woodsfirst. Sunrise. We are late risers usually and I believe this was the first time (even after living here for eight years) that I’ve seen a slice of sunrise from this place in the woods. I couldn’t stay long and it wasn’t that impressive, but I saw it, and it was another new moment in an ever-changing, ever-surprising, familiar place.

20130327-200023.jpgAfter I left, I got this great idea—I’d go back and take a picture at sunset too and, and…also when the moon was rising! Wouldn’t that be a cool series…Sunrise, Sunset, Moonrise, I’d call the post, maybe I’d even have one of those cool moments in which the moon is coming up and the sun is going down and there is a delicious sunsetmoonrise in a Neapolitan sky. Well, since the woods always has lessons for me and they parallel that of the rest of life, that was not actually what happened. We were gone all day taking our youngest to a pediatric dentist out-of-town and then doing some other things while in the city. When we got home, I knew sunset was coming soon, but I let the best moment slip by me while distracted by “catching up” and by the time I went back out, there was nothing visible from the woodsplace any longer—I don’t know that there ever would have been tonight though, because the sky was pretty overcast and the sun sets on the opposite side of the priestess rocks (which face sunrise), so what I usually am able to see in the sky is any long fingers of pink that paint their way along the horizon. And, then, my phone was out of photo storage and I had to stand there annoying myself by deleting pictures instead of watching the remaining trace of sunset from the place out in the field instead in which I could actually see it…

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the last bit!

And, then it was way too cloudy to even see the full moon at all, let alone get a sunsetmoonrise type of moment! So, I mined my old recordings for another moonrise night and included my words from that night instead. And, I had a full moon over the greenhouse picture from the same time in December as well…

December 2012 020I did see the full moon last night on my way home from my class and it was gorgeous πŸ™‚ I’m still writing and posting and noticing anyway, even though it isn’t perfect (or even particularly interesting and certainly not what I’d imagined writing about) and as this 30 day experiment comes to close, I do have an overall sense of satisfaction about the process. Being “forced” to write every day is an experience in and of itself. Challenging myself to look closer and see more has been very rewarding. Going ahead and posting anyway, even if I’d expected something different or wanted to do more, or am afraid I’m being boring, or have to rush a little or leave something out or scramble to finish before midnight, or don’t have any striking insights to offer…that is a practice too, and I’ve learned a lot from it.

Categories: family, nature, theapoetics, woodspriestess | Leave a comment

Woodspriestess: Breathing Meditation

Hand on heart March 2013 005
hand on womb
body’s center.

Breathing in…
peace
stillness
softness
receptivity.

Breathing out…
tension
stress
anxiety
overwhelm.

Breathing in
breathing out.
Feeling the present moment
settle around me

Each breath
a gift of renewal
each breath
a gift of refreshment
each breath
an offering.

Breathing with compassion
breathing with love
breathing with strength
breathing with grace
breathing with hope.

My body softensMarch 2013 001
and expands
heart open
hands relax.

I give what I have to give
I am what I am
I feel what I feel
I know what I know.

One hand on my heart
one hand on my womb
resting in wholeness
within me
and around me.

I give
and I receive
with every breath
intimately interconnected
with the land around me
and the heartbeat of the Earth…

As I sat in the woods today, I noticed how cold it was outside. The rock I sat on was cold and slightly damp, there was ice on the dry leaves. I had to get out a hat and gloves and put them on in addition to my coat. I could hear an engine revving in the distance. As I looked out at the horizon, it started to rain very, very lightly, not enough to be disturbing or to actually make me damp, but a steady pattering just the same. I focused on my breathing and watched the trees.

For the concluding sections of the breathing meditation, if reading aloud to a group, replace “I” and “my” with “you” and “your”…

Your body softens March 2013 003
and expands
heart open
hands relax

You give what you have to give
You are what you are
You feel what you feel
you know what you know

One hand on your heart
one hand on your womb
resting in wholeness
within you
and around you

You give
and you receive
with every breath
intimately interconnected
with the land around you
and the heartbeat of the Earth…

 

Categories: blessings, embodiment, nature, readings, theapoetics, woodspriestess | Leave a comment

Woodspriestess: Spring

Spring March 2013 002
what are we leaping towards
what wants to push up from cold ground
what wants to open to the sun
what is it that we need to know

What quiet, steady pulse beats
below the surface
what hope watches from the wings
what light grows broad
upon a patch of ground

Shedding
releasing
changing
renewing
growing
healing
springing

Letting go
leaving behind
casting off
sloughing
opening…

What expectations need we shed? What old thoughts need to leave our minds? What habitual patterns of behavior, relationship, and communication need to change? It is easy to be centered when you sit in the woods alone. The challenge is to carry that core into the unrelenting murmur of everyday life. The challenge is to reach for that place of inner stillness, even when it feels as if chaos reigns. Perhaps the challenge is to return to the place that heals my soul every single day even when the to-do list gets longer, the have-tos, the should-dos, the want-tos. Those things can be shut up for a minute and I can step forward onto dry leaves, solid earth, and steady rock. I can rest for a moment in the calm stillness that sings through these woods in harmony with the call of my own heart and the center of my own being. Find it here, find it now. Know that the potential is always within me and the place remains for me to return and return and return….

March 2013 064Spring
cast off
lay down
renew
release.

Emerge
perhaps cautiously
perhaps tenderly
but pushing forth
into full blossom

Know that stillness
in the midst of swirl
is possible
movement is constant
and so is quiet

She places her hands on both
and on her own heart…

Today began as another crappy day in what has been a string of crappy days. I awoke with a headache…again…the last time I remember NOT having a headache was in January. Lots of phone calls, lots of things not working out right, kids out of sorts, etc., etc. In the late afternoon, my kids went to visit my parents (who were having their own crappy day, so bless them for still helping me out!). After spending a half an hour on the phone, again, making a doctor’s appointment for my daughter as a prelude to her oral surgery appointment next month, I lit out for the woods. When I came back, I made tea. And, I decided that rather than immediately jump into preparing for my classes that begin next week, that I would take 15 minutes to listen to a shamanic journeying track. My best tips about “successful” journeying are to first look for a hole of some kind and actively go into it and that actively starting the journey off is okay. I used to think I shouldn’t try to “make” anything happen, just wait and see what happens, but then I read that journeying is 80% spontaneous and 20% created and that is okay. People will say, “how do I know if I’m really just making the whole thing up?” The answer is, so what if you are? It still means something. It is fascinating to watch my own brain work though once it gets going and to see how hard it becomes to continue to actively “control” the journey once it finds its own direction.

I went into a hole in a tree and ended up walking down a tree-lined road. In the past, I’ve always descended into caves, it is usually night, and it is in the woods with a bonfire and people dancing/drumming. This time, regardless of how I tried to pull my brain back to the familiar dark cave, start to the journey, I was on a road, headed to a city instead. It was a bright, sunny day and in a Central Park type area of bright green grass surrounded by a white city skyline, a woman is dancing with a tambourine. There is a white tent-like temple structure with a big gold ball on top and red carpet spilling out onto the green grass. I try to make the tent red like a Red Tent, but it stays white. I go into the temple and am greeted by a priestess who tells me it is okay to rest and that I am taken care of. She moves her hood back and she is me. I lie down and other women come in and massage my back and feet. I then saw—ack for the Whovians among us—a stone angel and she started crying. I think I dozed off for a minute then and when I woke up, the drums were done and my headache was also gone…

On Facebook today the following caught my eye:

This is how we DARE to have a grassroots movement. Come on women. Let’s raise these temples up. 30 states and 6 countries! If there is not one near you, it is waiting for you to start it! Let’s work together.

What is at risk for you to be the creative, alive force of love that you were born to be? What holds you back? What every day lies coerce you not to fly high and even stay lowly in a place that betrays everything your soul is beckoning you to be? This is the moment. This is the life. This is the breath. No one can take the action you are waiting and waiting and waiting to take but you, even when others have told you “yes you can” and “no you cannot.” You decide. A thousand years from now will anyone remember you? Likely not even in a hundred. So why not? Be the daring unrecorded history that mattered because you lived. (emphasis mine)

ALisa Starkweather Red Tent Temple Movement

This is my 100th blog post on this blog! (I’m pushing 800 on my other blog) Last night when I published the 99th post, I noticed I also had 99 comments (and it was 11:59 on the 19th. And, I have 91 followers [not very impressive, but this is still a new blog. And, I appreciate every one of them!]). So, it would feel fun to get my 100th comment on my 100th post…who wants the honor? πŸ™‚

Categories: nature, poems, retreat, spirituality, theapoetics, womanspirit, woodspriestess | 2 Comments

Woodspriestess: She is Crone

March 2013 107Crone
Wise woman
Sage woman
Grandmother

Her cloak of many colors
Is woven from the threads
Of a million stories
Part of the fiber of her being

Her righteous anger is carried
In the soles of her feet
No longer apologetic
She walks with purpose

Like water upon rock
Time has made its mark
Left its patterns on her body
Carved her away
To her most essential self

Around her waist she gathers
Her girdle of power
She holds her wise blood
Her cells imprinted
With the memories and potential
Of a thousand generations
Children have written upon her body
And she carries it well

These breasts have fed
The world
These shoulders have borne
Heavy burdens
These hips have cradled infants
Have carried children
And danced with friends and lovers

She who changes
She cannot be pinned down
Her multicolored cloak
Shifts its pattern in the breeze
Carrying the voices
And the wisdom of the years

She wraps her cloak of stories around her
Scoops up dreams with wide arms
Tilts her face to the sky
Whispers a blessing on the wind

She picks up her staff of memory
She sings the song of experience
And she takes another step
In the river of time…

I hoped to have more time to write tonight and to expand my thoughts on the Crone. I’ve been wanting to make a new sculpture ever since a reader posted and asked if I’ve ever made a Crone sculpture for someone going back to school. I’m also on the Crone lesson in my Triple Goddess class at OSC, a class that encourages explorations of the triple goddess archetypes through creative expression rather than more academic discourse (the academic discourse came in the Introduction to Thealogy class—the hardest class I’ve had so far!). Late last night after I had such a sucky day, I picked up a rock off the bookshelf and went to toss it outside because it didn’t belong there. It had been colored on by children and had a little face on it and scales. As I held it though and realized it could be stood on edge, I found one remaining scrap of clay in my almost empty box and I made my Crone. Her cloak is supposed to be a bit like butterfly wings, thinking of the menopause metamorphosis described inΒ Women’s Rites of Passage. I purposely left the child-drawn monster face on the bottom exposed, because,Β she has been written upon by children,Β was the first line to come to mind when I saw that. And, it makes me smile, because it is like her little secret.

March 2013 106

As I worked on her I kept singing…

Β Old and strong

She goes on and on and on…

Then, tonight I got some bad news about my own grandmother and it made me think that perhaps I’d actually been writing and sculpting for her without knowing it yet.
March 2013 099

March 2013 105 And, finally, in the not-too-understood augurs from the woods, I found these stones lined up just like this went I went down to the woods to take photos of my Crone. Kind of a Triple Goddess right there, right?!

March 2013 096

Categories: art, nature, poems, readings, sculpture, theapoetics, woodspriestess | 3 Comments

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