sacred pause

Day 7: St. Lucia’s Day (#30DaysofYule)

More than anything, I am the Lightbringer, who appears mysteriously out of the darkest night with hope and sustenance for all.
— Joanna Powell Colbert, A Crown of Candles: How to Throw a Fabulous Lucia Party

IMG_9838Simple rituals can be so powerful. Last night, the third candle on our advent Yule log was lit in honor of St. Lucia’s Day. We say a variation of the Buddhist metta prayer to go with our candle-lighting each Sunday. We followed this mini ceremony with slices of a Baumkuchen German cake from Aldi and mugs of mocha Teeccino (chicory “coffee”).

My daughter made the candles on the log with the help of my mom. And, joining our Yule log centerpiece is this “opalite” goddess that Mark just cast last night. We created so many that were sent out all over the world during our Nov 1-Dec 1 goddess holiday ornament event, but we hadn’t yet made one to keep! She’s it!

IMG_9834The kids were especially delighted with the cake, which was a surprise. (Not a planned surprise–it happened not to fit in the in-laws Christmas box, which was its original destination!)

IMG_9837May I be happy
May I be healthy
May I be loved

May I safe
May I be free.

 

Categories: #30daysofyule, blessings, family, holidays, practices, prayers, priestess, ritual, sabbath, sacred pause, seasons, spirituality | Leave a comment

Goddess Greeting Card Bundle

November 2015 042Happy Holidays from Brigid’s Grove! We’ve created a fun, free bundle of Goddess Greeting Cards for you to use this year. Your download includes:

  • Black and white and color versions of two different card designs
  • A black and white Celtic Roots card specifically for winter (this is my favorite!)
  • Three coloring pages to offer you a sacred pause in the midst of holiday hubbub.
  • You can also download a goddess mandala desktop background

The cards are laid out to print two to a sheet. Simply cut the pages in half and then fold and, voilà, you have nifty greeting cards ready to send or give to friends. You may color the designs or leave them in simple black and white. Or, print out the already colored versions.

DOWNLOAD YOUR BUNDLE

Other ideas:

  • Cut out the circles on the cards, color them, and make them into bookmarks for your women’s circle or to have an easily mailable, simple, cost-effective tiny present for the holidays. After coloring, mount the circle onto a bookmark length piece of cardstock and laminate (or, simply cover on both sides with clear conNovember 2015 086tact paper). You can also embellish with stickers, affirming messages, and additional drawing, doodling, or collage. Gel pens are amazing for coloring these, but regular markers or colored pencils also work. I incorporated Womanrunes into some of my bookmarks.
  • Have coloring pages or cards available at your holiday event and encourage people to take some time to relax and enjoy coloring together.
  • Print a batch of cards out in black and white and have them available for quick notes of affirmation, greeting, or inspiration, and tuck them in with other mail that goes out for the holidays.
  • A doula friend is printing the “Peace on Earth” birth goddess mandala cards to send out to local hospital staff as her holiday greeting this year. If you’re a doula or childbirth educator, you may wish to do this too!12291710_10208257978597138_8682294194396026468_o
  • Let your kids color pages or cards to give to others as simple gifts (my daughter has been making bookmarks with me).
  • Feel free to share your finished designs with us on Instagram using #brigidsgrove or #creativespiritcircle

 Membership in our Creative Spirit Circle is FREE and packed with beautiful, bountiful resources, including a free Womanrunes e-course, a private Facebook group, Red Tent materials, birth blessing posters, access to Divine Imperfections sculptures at up to 50% off, and more. It also includes our weekly newsletter filled with tidbits from our shop, family, and life as well as ceremony outlines, articles, sneak peeks, coupons, and special freebies.

Categories: art, blessings, community, Goddess, sacred pause, seasons | Leave a comment

Day 6: Luminous Darkness (#30daysofyule)

IMG_9817Today, after feeling strained and rushed about a variety of things (health insurance! Dentist appointments! Car inspection! Property taxes! Mailing Christmas gifts!), I decided to give myself a little “retreat” during naptime. I wanted to do this new moon spread from Little Red Tarot: Creativity, courage, commitment: a tarot spread for the new moon in Sagittarius. As soon as I got settled, I immediately had a jumper from my Womanrunes deck. As soon as I inked it on my wrist (liquid eyeliner, ftw!), I felt such a sense of calm and peace. It is so easy to lose touch with nurturing self-care practices when life gets busy. Even this simple practice of putting the rune of the day on my wrist can get trimmed out of a busy morning and the impact of that deletion really ripples through the day. After I did this, I also had a “flash” of the rune journal I’d like to create for the coming year. I’ve really valued the daily journaling practice I included in our Divination Practicum (though even I haven’t managed to do it every day!) and I plan to broaden this into a different, even more useful tool for a wider audience in the coming year.

I combined The Gaian Tarot and Womanrunes for the new moon layout and was not surprised at all to  see the The Cauldron of Reflection, my “jumper” card from a few minutes before, turn up in the “Ground” position! All and all an illuminating and insightful spread to use at this time of year.

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  1. Fear. The Seeker reversed turned up here, indicating a longing to hit the road and escape (indeed, I have been feeling an urge to flee lately–mainly just out the door and a few feet away to my little temple space or down to the woods, but somewhere outside of the noise and clutter that seems so pervasive in the house right now). The Winged Heart from Womanrunes, rune of ecstasy made an appearance here too—perhaps afraid to let go and open up to ecstatic experience?
  2. Hope. The Guardian of Air made a bold appearance here, looking right into my eyes. Clarity. She sees straight to the core, cuts away that which is extraneous, and is skillful at communication. She was one of only two not-reversed cards in this layout. The rune here was, ahh, The Tool. Rune of labor and production. A longing for clarity in my work, to boil it down to the essentials and what I really want to do, not just what could be done.
  3. Transform. My other upright card, The Two of Fire makes a bold appearance here. This is a sexy and assertive card. It asks me to consider whether my fire warms me or burns me? I am lit up with a blazing energy (focusing that energy will allow the flame to stay lit). I am not surprised at all to see The Serpent show up here too, rune of awakening. This is a very fiery, transformative, potentially dangerous card as well. I always see it as exciting though and feel inspired by the energy of this card.
  4. Release. The Ace of Fire popped up here, reversed. It suggests a fear of change and the squelching of passionate energy. It asks me to find the courage to transform. With it, comes the rune of faith. I see it as asking for faith in myself and the direction I am going.
  5. Ground. The Ten of Air, reversed, showed up here in the position asking to “set your intention here.” This position asks for a commitment to yourself, to doing this work. I was really pleased and affirmed to see my jumper Cauldron of Reflection show up in this position. The reversed Ten of Air card is about surrendering to the natural flow and the “discovery of the treasures in the time of cold and dark,” which seems very appropriate for this month and time of year.
  6. Create. Finally, this position makes the intention real and solidifies my commitment. The Guardian of Earth, reversed, shows up here with the message to “ground and center and reconnect with the Earth.” Yes, definitely. Just what my Seeker from the beginning was wanting to flee and do! The rune here is the Spiral, another affirming rune for me personally, as it signifies initiation and rites of passage, both core themes of the programs and classes I’m offering in the coming year.

Takeaway message from the Gaian Tarot: Honor your fire. Have courage. Go with it. “I am empowered by my passion for life, love, and wildness.”

Takeaway message from Womanrunes (I love combining them into sentences!): Allow the ecstasy of your work to awaken faith in yourself. Grounding in solitude when needed allows for the creation of spiralling initiations and rites of passage…

Today is the Feast Day of Our Lady of Guadalupe, which means our new little Black Madonnas are again very àpropos.

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I didn’t end up writing in response to the journal prompt about grief, but I did save this quote:

She invites us to enter into our grief and name it and be there to learn what suffering has to teach us. Creativity cannot happen, birthing cannot happen, unless the grieving heart is paid attention to. Only by passing through grief can creativity burst forth anew.

— Matthew Fox, “The Return of the Black Madonna” via 30 Days of Yule

Categories: #30daysofyule, divination, endarkenment, moon wisdom, night, practices, priestess, readings, retreat, ritual, sacred pause, self-care | Leave a comment

Day 4: Guardian of the Flame (#30daysofYule + #30daysofdissertation)

12341332_10208003037534503_6220261572783427640_nI recognize that I am feeling a little sad and wistful that this month feels so “sped up” to me. I welcome the hibernation and incubation of winter, but the to-dos keep on coming. On Wednesday night, I stayed up late “catching up.” Last night, I honored my need for rest and decided to just go to bed instead of starting the “second shift,” that the push-y part of myself always urges me to do. I remembered that fifteen minutes of dissertation work doesn’t have to be sitting at my computer, but instead I read part of Drawing Down the Moon, by Margot Adler (a book I’ve never read. <gasp> Surely I “should” have read it before now?!) and decided that would count for the day.

A little earlier that evening, we got the beautiful picture above from one of the first women to buy one of our priestess initiation robe blessing bundles. I looked at it and realized that it is was lovely match for Day 4’s photo prompt. I “pass the torch” and light the flame in many ways through my work and it is gratifying and humbling and beautiful and powerful. I am honored to bear witness.

I also recognized that my most recent Feminism and Religion post about family ritual is also about passing the flame and lighting the torch (especially if the torch in question is actually a leftover glow stick from Halloween!): All We Need to Make Magic

As a side note about the hibernation urge–I recall from many past turns of the wheel that this is my usual feeling in December: anticipatory of hibernation and “slowing down.” Longing for rest, contemplation, and restoration. But, then really, more to do than ever before. But, then in January and February is when the hibernation actually comes. I usually do a personal renewal retreat in the first week of February. The beginning of January feels open and full of promise. It usually snows and we quite literally can’t go anywhere and so the hibernation I keep craving is then an enforced-by-Nature one. In fact, I think I’m going to “officially” release the idea that I should be resting and reflecting right now and trust the memory of restoration and the promise of winter’s incubation which is still to come.

Categories: #30daysofyule, 30daysofdissertation, art, collaboration, dissertation, family, practices, priestess, retreat, sacred pause, seasons, self-care | Leave a comment

Day 1: Stillness, Quiet (#30daysofyule, #30daysofdissertation)

IMG_968430 Days of Yule began today. I deeply connect with Joanna’s description of the twin moods of this season: “The deepest gifts of the midwinter holiday season are the twin companions of Solitude and Community. We need both.”

I feel these twin companion keenly at this time of year. My picture for today is also part of my 30 Days of Dissertation, because I’ve decided I’m raising a Goddess Temple here in the woods. For real! I’ve commandeered my children’s unused clubhouse (with their blessing/permission) and it is becoming beautiful, sacred space. I spent way more than 15 minutes yesterday working on the inside of it and I had such a wonderful time. I will write more about it soon.

Today, the day was actually anything but still and quiet. We went to St. Louis for a homeschool field trip to the history museum and were gone all day (I did manage to move some quotes from three different saved pdfs into my dissertation document). We were in need of a small adventure for our family after all of the busy-ness November held and so I have no regrets about being in the hustle and bustle of the city rather than the peace of the woods. However, I now seek the quiet of my bed, my thoughts, and the restoration of sleep…

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Carriage ride at the museum (with merry jingle bells on the large draft horses).

Categories: #30daysofyule, 30daysofdissertation, community, family, parenting, priestess, retreat, sacred pause, self-care, spirituality, woodspriestess | Leave a comment

Day 30: Song in the Dark (#30DaysofHecate)

November 2015 050

New priestess robes hand-dyed by my dear friend are coming to the etsy shop this week!

Darkness falls
Darkness enfolds
Darkness calls
Darkness holds

Hallowed evening
Hallowed night
We rest in the shadows
We offer our light.

30 Days of Hecate was the first 30 days class that I haven’t kept up with in terms of taking a daily picture and making a daily post. This is partially because the heavier themes required more thought and a certain amount of vulnerability that I wasn’t always prepared to take time for. And, perhaps silly, but since I usually share the photo of the day on Instagram, which I also use for business, there were many prompts that didn’t fit with the overall mood and feel of my Instagram page. Also, this was the first class for which there was a Facebook group, so even though I didn’t post on my own blog every day, I read other people’s posts and reflections and thought about their pictures and insights each day, meaning that all things considered I may have spent more time involved in this course than ever before, even though my visible output and personal work was lower. This was more of a communal experience for me than a solitary one, which is interesting both in considering the themes (which I should maybe have taken more personal time for) and also because of how much I’ve valued the personal practice of the previous 30 days courses. I look forward to having that again, though I also wouldn’t trade the communal experience, which has been much bigger and more beautiful than I imagined it could be. I’ve already signed up for the next offering: 30 Days of Yule ~ A Daily Sacred Pause to Welcome the Return of the Sun

And, finally, in more practical terms, we were overwhelmed with Christmas ornament orders, which pared most of my personal practices and personal time down to almost nothing, by necessity. There were many nights where I fell asleep with my phone in my hand, after packing orders until 11:00, blog screen open, but untyped in….

Something I am left with after this course is the amazing Hecate chant I learned about via the 30 Days Facebook group. It is really powerful: For Tara – Hecate Chant | Sharon Knight

Categories: #30daysofHecate, blessings, chants, community, endarkenment, music, nature, night, poems, practices, sacred pause, seasons, spirituality | Leave a comment

Day 29: Dreaming (#30DaysofHecate)

IMG_7982Tell me about a potent, numinous dream you had, that you have never forgotten. (It does not have to be a recent dream; just one that seems like it was a gift.)

In 2013, I experienced a really profound dream. I was walking down to the woods and in the sky above the priestess rocks, I saw a gigantic, beautiful, pulsating, pink, jeweled rose like flower. I was awe-struck and staring at it. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I became aware that a golden cord stretched from the center of the flower to the top of my head and I became aware that all people were connected to it by these golden cords as well. Then, in that uniquely expansive character of dreams, I somehow traveled through the center of the flower. On the other side was an immense snake of unimaginable proportion, spiraling around “the cosmic egg.” As I looked at it, I became aware that the snake was actually the whole of the universe and that along its body, in the scales, one could perceive not only each galaxy, but also a point for all times and places that ever were or will be. It is hard to describe in writing, but I still deeply remember by feelings of both awe and comprehension and this expansive awareness of reality. It was a gorgeous, trippy, and meaningful dream. I tried to draw something about it, but couldn’t do it. What I was left with is that feeling of majesty, magnitude, and incredible connection.

 

Categories: #30daysofHecate, divination, dreams, endarkenment, feminist thealogy, Flowers, Goddess, nature, night, sacred pause, spirituality, woodspriestess | 1 Comment

Day 28: Releasing the Beloved Dead (#30DaysofHecate)

IMG_9382When my grandma died in 2013, we first did a family ceremony with sky lanterns in the field by my parents’ house, since her actual service wasn’t held until the following month. Even though it was daylight at the time, we lit a “wish lantern” (paper sort of hot air balloon thing that you release and it floats high into the air until the fuel finally extinguishes). As we watched the lantern sail away on the currents of the breeze and above the green trees, we called out the following as a responsive reading:

Into the freedom of wind and sunshine

Response – We let you go

Into the dance of the stars and the planets

Response – We let you go

Into the wind’s breath and the hands of the stars

Response – We let you go

Tonight, at sunset-moonrise, I took a drawing of her down to the woods and had a little personal ceremony using the elemental release included below that was in Joanna’s prompt for Day 28.

Then, I drummed and sang as night fell.

Last Rites: An Elemental Release
(To be said in ceremony when a loved one has died.)

This is the place we will all one day gather, the place where the Dark Mother waits.
This is the path we must all walk alone, to stand at the quarterly gates.
Here lies what’s left of all that has been, of Air, Fire, Water and Earth.
Into the cauldron of tears we commit her [him], to change into waters of birth.

We release to the North her [his] flesh and her [his] bones and all that belongs to the Earth.
We release to the East her [his] breath and her [his] voice and all that flies free on the Wind.
To the South we return her [his] passion and Spirit and all that burns pure in the Fire.
To the West we release her [his] blood and her [his] tears and all that’s washed pure in the Water.
To the Center we turn. We let our hearts grieve, seeking comfort of family and friends.

For we know in our hearts we will see her [him] again on a Wheel turning round without end.
Gentle and beloved Spirit of ___________, fly from this place on wings of speed, where gentle breezes blow to a place that has no pain. Have no thought of leaving us. Your work on Earth is done, you ran the race, you loved and were loved, you danced the dance* and won.

We will call your name at Samhain. What is remembered, lives.

— Angie Buchanan, death midwife, founder/director of Earth Traditions.

(*this was actually “fought the fight,” but that didn’t fit to me, so I changed it)

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Categories: #30daysofHecate, ancestors, blessings, death, endarkenment, family, night, practices, priestess, readings, ritual, sacred pause, spirituality, woodspriestess | Leave a comment

Day 21: Old Woman (#30daysofHecate)

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Life’s sunset.

Quilted in bright colors
Sinking over hills of gold
and long dry valleys…

(Woodspriestess: Grandmother)

Last night I dreamed of my grandmother. Dressed all in white, she was visiting at my parents’ house. Amazed to see her, I exclaimed over and over again about how I’d missed her and how it was so good to see her again. I hugged her, heart to heart, and marveled to her–I know exactly what you look like, how you sound, what your smile is like, how your eyes look, what it feels like to hug you. I haven’t forgotten! I know just what you’re like! We talked about how the last time I saw her alive was at my brother’s wedding and we didn’t know it was the last time. We talked about how it was a such a surprise to have her illness progress so quickly. She told me that she will only be back to visit four more times and showed me a scrapbook with only four unfilled pages left in it. She reminded me that one of the other times she visited had been to see Tanner (when he was new, I dreamed she was holding him and smiling.)

I woke up too soon and spent the rest of the night trying to make sure I remembered the dream (including dreaming about telling people I dreamed it). When I got up this morning, I told my husband about the dream and cried.

carry my gratitude
straight to her heart
fold it into her hands
nestle it in her body
where it will take root
and blossom…

(Woodspriestess: Grandmother Prayer)

 

Categories: #30daysofHecate, ancestors, death, family, night, sacred pause | 1 Comment

Day 16 & 17: Journeying into wisdom (#30DaysofHecate)

IMG_9224My rune of the day has been The Moonboat, rune of journeys, for the last two days in a row. I took that as a sign that it is okay to combine days 16 & 17 of 30 Days of Hecate into one post. It didn’t strike me until the middle of the night the clear connection between the Moonboat the “journey into the underworld” photo prompt for yesterday. Today, on the new moon, I drew the Moonboat again. Since the prompt for today is “opening the door to wisdom, ” I decided it was a perfect time to try the new New Moon layout I developed to use with Womanrunes. My own results were no surprise, a deep call for retreat, reflection, solitude, and time.

IMG_9222I feel very “activated” right now, which is unusual for the fall season for me, but underneath the action is a the siren song of solitude, the heart’s call for time to reflect, renew, restore, and recharge. We have been utterly stunned by the volume of orders we’ve experienced in our etsy shop this month. I knew the holiday season would be busy, but I was completely naïve about how busy! Today, we talked a lot about how to re-balance our lives and how to work within this busy-ness in a way that feels sustainable, nourishing, and sensible. We are having a lot of fun, but we’re also getting a little tired and ragged feeling and it is only November 11!

How to do a New Moon layout of your own with Womanrunes or any other cards:

FullSizeRender_1I walk the crescent moon
Plant the seeds and wait to bloom.

I dance the crescent moon
Change is coming, making room.

I sing the crescent moon
Weave intention with her loom.

For this layout, three cards are used:

  1. Planting: What seeds are you planting? What are you incubating or preparing to grow?
  2. Making room: What is changing? How are you making room?
  3. Weaving: What is working through you? What is your intention or focus point?

IMG_9220I did have time to also add a wonderful Moon Wisdom blessing bundle to the etsy shop. I am in love with the resin version of our crescent moon goddess. She is full of energy and power and the wisdom of deep places…

Remember you can also sign up for a free Womanrunes course here: Introduction to Womanrunes

Categories: #30daysofHecate, divination, moon wisdom, practices, ritual, sacred pause, self-care, Womanrunes | Leave a comment

Day 14: Making your way through the dark (#30daysofHecate)

IMG_9215 Apparently, once I got off schedule a day, it is hard to get back on track! We also have been flooded with orders for our goddess Christmas ornaments. Amazing response! It also means we’re skewed somewhat off-balance personally in order to fulfill all of the orders. For yesterday, I did a three card spread using the Gaian Tarot and Womanrunes, following the “guide through the darkness” spread suggested. I did it kind of hastily, but it still brought up some important points and a little laugh as well when I saw I turned up “The Tool,” the rune of labor, production, and enterprise. 😉

1. She Guides You Through the Season
This card offers advice on getting through and making progress in the next two months.

2. She Guides You Toward Illumination
This card indicates the direction in which knowledge and insight await you.

3. She Guides You Across the Threshold
This card encourages you to step through the veil into an experience of the unknown, an experience that leads to greater personal and spiritual power.

— Ellen Lorenzi-Prince, The Dark Goddess Tarot Companion

The best reminder for me came from The Wheel, which showed up in the third position and gave me this gift: “in centering myself, I am blessed by the turning of the wheel.” The Sisters and the reversed Six of Water both remind me to reach out in community and to replenish my emotional reserves. The pendulum in the first position reminds me that this energetic imbalance and extreme flurry is temporary (if it turns out not to be temporary, we’ll hire some more people to help!). After doing this layout, I also turned over my rune of the day and it was The Sun and Moon, rune of laughter, which is always my “cosmic wink” letting me know I’m on the right path.

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Categories: #30daysofHecate, divination, endarkenment, night, practices, sacred pause, Womanrunes | Leave a comment

Day 13: Silence (#30DaysofHecate)

…my silence is a pause
in music, a dark moon,
the moment before bleeding.
My silence is the space
between two heartbeats,
the moment of breath’s fullness…

— Patricia Monaghan, Seasons of the Witch (via 30 Days of Hecate)

It is somewhat ironic or appropriate that on the day that “silence” was the prompt for 30 Days, I fell asleep before making my daily blog post (the first time I’ve missed in four different “30 Days” course participation). Therefore, I was “silent” on this blog.

Yesterday was also the sixth anniversary of the death-birth of my tiny third baby, a boy we named Noah. His brief life had a profound and transformative impact on my spirituality, my priestess work, my work with women, my art and my direction, as well as on our family as a whole. Tiny footprints are powerful things.

While I didn’t make a post, I did draw a Womanrunes card and a Gaian Tarot card. I got The Hearth, rune of nurturance, and Awakening…

November 2015 148

 

Categories: #30daysofHecate, death, endarkenment, family, pregnancy loss, sacred pause | Leave a comment

Day 10: Old Woman (#30DaysofHecate)

“May you be kept safe. May you be watched over. May all the good you are seeking, seek you as well. And may you know that everything you need, is given to you in the proportion you need it. And may you see the signs everywhere that help you to understand who you are, why you are and most of all that you belong to us, the tribe of the sacred heart. ”

–Clarissa Pinkola Estes, from The Dangerous Old Woman

  
At our Red Tent a couple of months ago, we did an “inner mentor” meditation that took us twenty or thirty years into the future to meet our wise future self. Mine was in a red tent yurt built in the woods to the side of my current house. She had herbs hanging all around the yurt and a neat fireplace and she was very calm and welcoming. I think of her often, actually. She was more centered and calm and soothing than I currently feel, but I can see her as my future self.

When I read today’s prompts, I immediately thought of this meditation and I also thought of the card above. I’m not sure who the artist is, because I cut it off of the front of a greeting card to make a personal oracle card with. 

Categories: #30daysofHecate, ancestors, blessings, community, sacred pause | 2 Comments

Day 9: Hecate of the Three Ways (#30DaysofHecate)

She who shows her incisors
She who midwifes death
She who illuminates the crossroads.

She who gathers and releases
She who creates and destroys.
She who covers and reveals.

She is the darkness and the light within it.
She is the crossroads and the path.
She is the guardian and the wayshower

before her and behind her is the knowing unknown.

I was inspired to create a new little Hecate-themed blessing bundle through my participation in ‪#‎30daysofhecate‬ as well as that persistent sensation of drawing inward as we move into the waning part of the year.

Categories: #30daysofHecate, blessings, endarkenment, Goddess, invocations, moon wisdom, night, poems, readings, ritual, sacred pause, seasons, spirituality | Leave a comment

Day 8: We remember them (#30daysofHecate)

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“Tell me again, a story of an ancestor of your bloodline or of your heartline, a story you have not shared before…” (30 Days course prompt)

This is a photo of my grandma on her wedding day to her second husband (who is still alive). Her first husband was the love of her life and he died from colon cancer at age 59 (in 1989). The next year, she married one of his lifelong friends and they were married for more than twenty years until her death from sudden, aggressive pancreatic cancer in 2013 (at 83). I remember this wedding clearly, in the living room of the home she’d shared with my grandpa and in which they raised their three children. I remember my mom and her siblings as being a little strained and tense. I remember my grandma laughing and almost giddy. They kept the wedding a secret from all of their friends and had a family-only ceremony and then an after-party with a group of friends, to whom they then announced their marriage. I remember standing next to my grandma at the front door of her house, greeting guests. She’d turned her new sapphire wedding ring around so the stone was hidden in her hand and she showed it to me, saying, “see, now no one will see it accidentally before we make the announcement!” I remember feeling like this was a “weird” or “funny” (not funny “ha ha,” but funny as in odd), because I’d never seen her in this mood before–kind of silly and excited–I didn’t know how to experience her this way, like she wasn’t as grown up as I’d thought.

Looking back at the photo as an adult myself, I can now begin to imagine how she must have felt in this moment, making this decision, possibly facing criticism and disapproval from friends and family and being giddy with excitement and nervousness and perhaps some fear about doing it anyway.

Prayer for my grandmother October 2015 002
sweet wind carry it
hope guard it
love keep it
peace bless it

carry my gratitude
straight to her heart
fold it into her hands
nestle it in her body
where it will take root
and blossom

(Full disclosure: I am standing right next to her in this photo [you can see part of my arm and hair], but I cropped myself out because I look terrible! I am only 11 in the photo, so maybe I should have left myself in, but it was not my best look.)
Categories: #30daysofHecate, ancestors, death, family, sacred pause | Leave a comment

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