Today, my stomach bottomed out a little when I saw this pop up in my Facebook feed. Who does she think SHE is, anyway?! I was originally thrilled to be asked to participate in A Gathering of Priestesses, a live show which I really enjoy, but now that the date rapidly approaches, I find myself feeling incredibly nervous and a little sick. (And, I actually have another interview the very next day for a different program. What was I thinking?!) Gloria posted on my wall and asked me to share the link with my friends and my first reaction was, “I don’t think I will.” 😉
Coincidentally, the question I most recently posed to my dissertation study group was about politics and the priestess…
The last section of my dissertation will look at the sociopolitical value of the priestess–priestess as political statement and social change agent, basically. I’m not talking about small group politics anymore, instead I’m looking at wide cultural politics and perception. Here is a great quote:
“On a very primal level, seeing women hold power in the public spiritual sphere stimulates people’s belief and trust that women can therefore be an authority in other places, as in political office, or corporations. The impact of the symbolic role of the priestess in public ritual reaches into our psyche; this is why it’s important that priestesses be seen performing public rituals and openly invoking the Goddess.”
(From “The Priestess as Wedding Ceremonialist” by Josephine MacMillan, in Stepping into Ourselves)
I went on to ask:
Thoughts, opinions, personal experiences? How do you see yourself as a change agent? Do you think your priestess work has a political component? Are you consciously/intentionally making a specific “statement” with your work or is it a byproduct? (Or a personal experience rather than a cultural one.)
My sick-to-my-stomach feeling about the upcoming interview involves some of these nasty little thought-worms: Too visible. Be smaller. What right do you have? Who do you think you are? What if someone hates you? How does this relate to the 30 Days of May prompt for today about, “the beauty that is You”? Well, because it reminds me of my own strength and gift in feeling fear and doing it anyway. That takes courage and guts and, really, confidence, that I may not recognize immediately in myself, but it is there. A long time ago, I participated in a self-renewal group conference call in which the facilitator asked how comfortable we are with risk-taking. My initial response was “not at all. I am completely risk averse.” But, in the journaling that followed, I realized that I am only risk averse when talking about physical risks, like bungee jumping or hang-gliding. In my personal life, in “putting myself out there” with my work and ideas, in teaching and writing and facilitating and speaking, actually makes me one of the risk-takingest people I know!
In an interconnected coincidence, I also watched a video from a member of my Priestess Path group, Patricia Ballentine, and seeing her speak with confidence about her experiences, helps me prepare to share mine!
Now, who wants to hold my hand and “doula” me through this interview? 😉
Related past post:
And, here’s just one example (of many) of why this sense of fear and riskiness is not entirely misplaced: there is a place where women are dying to be heard | Pagan Devotionals.