parenting

In entering this space alone
I feel I touch the spirit of this place
and it is in solitude
where I feel most authentically whole
complete
integrated
solid
stable
at ease
secure in my inner wisdom
loved by my own heart
patient with my own soul
studying my own life
and my relationship to the sacred

Being alone is not lonely
it is being alive

When I’m alone is when I feel most real, most solid, most whole, and when I like myself the best. Somehow in relationship to other people, I never quite meet my own expectations, I don’t live up to my own standards, and I don’t necessarily live in complete accordance with my own values. When I’m alone, I’m whole and complete, I love myself, and I’m at peace. Who I am is good company. I’m smart, I’m thoughtful, I’m in tune with my body and with the Spirit. I’m in relationship with the world, to the sacred, to the Goddess. Then the swirl begins again with other people, suddenly who I am is not enough. Who I am is too critical, who I am is flustered, distracted, hurried, too busy, impatient, snappy, hard, selfish, all these things. So which one is it? Which one is real? It is in solitude that I feel most solid. How can I carry that sense of self, that sense of worth, that sense of serenity, that sense of grace, that sense of ease into the rest of my life, particularly into my life with my children? I told my husband the other day, “I think I’m a better writer than I am a person.” 😦

Anyway, I mentioned on my other blog that I recently finished reading Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s Gift from the Sea and I marked a whole bunch of quotes about solitude:

“Woman must come of age by herself…
She must find her true center alone.”

“Women need solitude in order to find again the true essence of themselves.”

“I find there is a quality to being alone that is incredibly precious. Life rushes back into the void, richer, more vivid, fuller than before.”

“How inexplicable it seems. Anything else will be accepted as a better excuse. If one sets aside time for a business appointment, a trip to the hairdresser, a social engagement or a shopping expedition, that time is accepted as inviolable. But if one says: I cannot come because that is my hour to be alone, one is considered rude, egotistical or strange.”
― Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea

It snowed again today. I took a photo of my little snow-covered labyrinth as well as of the usual rocks!

The opening of your heart never ceases
It comes in on the tide
of breath
It goes out in the tide
of breath
The whispering of a lover
a chant, a song, a prayer
to your wholeness
to the sacred awakening of the heart.

–Marcelina Martin (in Open Mind)

I hoped to write more tonight for a Thursday Thealogy post about the web of life, but I’m just not going to get there. The post is almost finished, but I’m going to keep working on it and post it next Thursday instead. Instead, I have a variety of quotes from past posts that tie together with the theme of interconnectedness…

From a previous post here:

Carol Christ’s understanding of “profound connection of all beings in the web of life,” (p. 58) is integral to my own understanding of the world, ethics, feminism, and spirituality. I very often return to the idea from Naomi Wolf of the “great invisible web of incarnation of which we are all a part,” indeed it forms the very foundation of my personal thealogy. My introduction to Goddess spirituality as a viable spiritual path distinct from Wicca came from my involvement with the UU Church, which holds an awareness of the web of life as one of its six core principles: “Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.” UU’s also draw from “seven sources,” one of which is: “Direct experience of that transcending mystery and wonder, affirmed in all cultures, which moves us to a renewal of the spirit and an openness to the forces which create and uphold life” and another of which is: “Spiritual teachings of earth-centered traditions which celebrate the sacred circle of life and instruct us to live in harmony with the rhythms of nature.” (http://www.uua.org/beliefs/principles/) I find that direct experience for me comes most clearly and cleanly through nature and thus identified with Starhawk’s explanation in Reweaving the World that, “we must preserve the wilderness that’s left because that’s the place we go for renewal, where we can most strongly feel the immanence of the Goddess” (p. 82)…

via The Web of Life | Theapoetics.

And, from another past post here:

I have learned a lot about the fundamental truth of relatedness through my own experiences as a mother…Relationship is our first and deepest urge. The infant’s first instinct is to connect with others. Before an infant can verbalize or mobilize, she reaches out a hand to her mother. I have most definitely seen this with my own babies. Mothering is a profoundly physical experience. The mother’s body is the baby’s “habitat” in pregnancy and for many months following birth. Through the mother’s body is how the baby learns to interpret and to relate to the rest of the world and it is to mother’s body that she returns for safety, nurturance, and peace. Birth and breastfeeding exist on a continuum as well, with mother’s chest becoming baby’s new “home” after having lived in her womb for nine months. These thoroughly embodied experiences of the act of giving life and in creating someone else’s life and relationship to the world are profoundly meaningful. With my last baby, I actively introduced her to the world—taking her out one morning and touching her feet to the earth and introducing her to the planet.

—The Central Value of Relationship

I mentioned that my most recent FAR post has been getting shared around on Facebook and one particular paragraph has been chosen as the quote that is passed around with the post:

I believe that gathering together as women and connecting over our belief in the value of women and of the value of the Goddess as a symbol is a radical and subversive act. To have the courage to come together in a circle that names women as holy and Goddess as “afoot” (whether literally or metaphorically), is a profound political, social, and cultural statement. And, it is how the personal becomes political. We gather in our homes, we celebrate our rituals and our rites of passage, we wear our Goddess jewelry, we write our articles and share our thoughts, we have the courage to link feminism with matters of the spirit, we speak up in public, we advocate and participate politically, we raise our children in female-affirming homes, and it is in this way that change is born and grows…

via Do Women’s Circles Actually Matter? | Feminism and Religion.

In my picture today it looks like it was a misty morning in the woods, but really grubby little fingers had smudged the lens…

And, in other nature happenings, in a first-days-of-spring surprise, it snowed again today!